"How the hell am I meant to put a liger between the phoenix and the unicorn?... Fuck it. I can't read Noah's writing anyway."
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And the reveal:
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| KAREN: | You said, "How am I supposed to fit a liger between the phoenix and the unicorn? Oh, fuck it, I can't read Noah's handwriting anyway." |
| ADAM: | It's my fault. None of them are here. |
| KAREN: | Awww. There are still ligers. |
| ADAM: | (whimpering) It's my fault!? |
| KAREN: | No, there are still ligers, don't worry! |
| ADAM: | But the unicorns! |
| KAREN: | That's true. |
| ADAM: | Well, phoenixes, you know, fuck it. They rise from the dead anyway. |
| KAREN: | So we can only blame the unicorn on you. |
| ADAM: | Are there definitely ligers? |
| KAREN: | Yeah. But they don't occur naturally. They happen in captivity. They're extremely intelligent. |
| ADAM: | Really? |
| KAREN: | Oh, yeah, they're much larger than either a lion or a tiger, and extraordinarily intelligent. |
| ADAM: | Can they do crosswords? No, they can't, 'cause they can't hold the pencil, 'cause they haven't got an opposable thumb. Not that clever. |
| KAREN: | It's not their fault if they don't have an opposable thumb. |
| ADAM: | Okay. I'll concede that point. But can they do crosswords? No. |
| KAREN: | I bet if we made a crossword in Ligerese they could. |
| ADAM: | Oh. Ligerese. One across, four letters, a loud noise. Oh, "roar," there we go. Another four-letter word, five down, anything that moves. Ah, "food." And that's a cryptic crossword. |
In STM's defense: Well, Noah *was* writing rather hurriedly in cuneiform; and those clay tablets tend to get mushy in the rain, anyway....
ReplyDeleteBesides, the ligers *should* have gone between the kelpies and the manticores - Noah was a bugger about alphabetical order.... 7@=Q
I just discovered your blog. Actually, I was looking for this kind of cases because my boyfriend talks very often while he sleeps (almost twice a week). Well, I discuss with him and after I send an email to my friends to laugh about that... But I found funny the fact that he speaks in different languages. Yesterday we have this discussion:
ReplyDelete- He (portuguese): bla bla (i don't speak portuguese I just get some words, but he was working last week with some brazilian clients, maybe that's why)
- Me (french): "I don't understand what you mean!"
- He (french): "if you want to come with me said it now or I will go alone"
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- He (french): Well I have my ticket. I'm going..
Then he stops...I thing he went to the Opera at that moment :)
The first time this kind of things happened I woke him up, but I just start finding this interesting and funny. I didn't know that people could speak several languages while sleeping. In real life, he speaks french, spanish, portuguese, italian, english and russian, so I think we have still some funny moments ahead.
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