Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20121112

Nov 12 2012

"How the hell am I meant to put a liger between the phoenix and the unicorn?... Fuck it. I can't read Noah's writing anyway."

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And the reveal:


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KAREN: You said, "How am I supposed to fit a liger between the phoenix and the unicorn? Oh, fuck it, I can't read Noah's handwriting anyway."
ADAM: It's my fault. None of them are here.
KAREN: Awww. There are still ligers.
ADAM: (whimpering) It's my fault!?
KAREN: No, there are still ligers, don't worry!
ADAM: But the unicorns!
KAREN: That's true.
ADAM: Well, phoenixes, you know, fuck it. They rise from the dead anyway.
KAREN: So we can only blame the unicorn on you.
ADAM: Are there definitely ligers?
KAREN: Yeah. But they don't occur naturally. They happen in captivity. They're extremely intelligent.
ADAM: Really?
KAREN: Oh, yeah, they're much larger than either a lion or a tiger, and extraordinarily intelligent.
ADAM: Can they do crosswords? No, they can't, 'cause they can't hold the pencil, 'cause they haven't got an opposable thumb. Not that clever.
KAREN: It's not their fault if they don't have an opposable thumb.
ADAM: Okay. I'll concede that point. But can they do crosswords? No.
KAREN: I bet if we made a crossword in Ligerese they could.
ADAM: Oh. Ligerese. One across, four letters, a loud noise. Oh, "roar," there we go. Another four-letter word, five down, anything that moves. Ah, "food." And that's a cryptic crossword.

18 comments:

  1. In STM's defense: Well, Noah *was* writing rather hurriedly in cuneiform; and those clay tablets tend to get mushy in the rain, anyway....

    Besides, the ligers *should* have gone between the kelpies and the manticores - Noah was a bugger about alphabetical order.... 7@=Q

    ReplyDelete
  2. I just discovered your blog. Actually, I was looking for this kind of cases because my boyfriend talks very often while he sleeps (almost twice a week). Well, I discuss with him and after I send an email to my friends to laugh about that... But I found funny the fact that he speaks in different languages. Yesterday we have this discussion:

    - He (portuguese): bla bla (i don't speak portuguese I just get some words, but he was working last week with some brazilian clients, maybe that's why)
    - Me (french): "I don't understand what you mean!"
    - He (french): "if you want to come with me said it now or I will go alone"
    - Me (spanish): ALONE? that's selfish! where do you want to go? Bora Bora?
    - He (spanish): NON, at the Opera house, you want to go?
    - Me (french): NON! I just want to sleep! Give me my pillow back!
    - He (french): Well I have my ticket. I'm going..

    Then he stops...I thing he went to the Opera at that moment :)

    The first time this kind of things happened I woke him up, but I just start finding this interesting and funny. I didn't know that people could speak several languages while sleeping. In real life, he speaks french, spanish, portuguese, italian, english and russian, so I think we have still some funny moments ahead.

    Greetings from Paris.

    Marina

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