"Hold me. I want you to feel greatness." "You certainly are incredible. A perfect example of genetics gone wrong. Now go st...

"You think cooking pasta is cooking? It's just boiling water, Numb Nuts!" "They're guinea pig kisses. Weeweeweeweew...

"Too many windows. Especially the big ones. Damn them. Damn them all to hell." "If you weren't such a fucking prick, yo...

"You're right, elephants in thongs is not something you see every day. Enjoy it." "I'm chocolate. I'm happy. Yu...

"I'm the pilot. It's my turn to fly the plane. Give me a peaked cap and a stewardess. Yeah, a stewardess. Whooossshhhhhhhhh....

"Just hold that thought for a seriously long, rectum-pinchingly time." "Beef jerky! Jerk-y jerk jerk.... What's the poi...

"Ghosts going bump in the night. Clumsy fucker." "Your legs! They’re stuck in... something... quite... disgusting. Oh, crap...

"Why don't you stand in fuck-up corner. You can stay there 'til, I don't know, I-don't-give-a-shit-about-you 'o clo...

"My computer needs more power. Feed it chips. Lots of chips. With ketchup. Not mayonnaise." "Hmmm, feathers in your armpits...

"Awesomeness now has a name. Let me introduce myself." "Really? If you can pee that high, DEFINITELY join the fire brigade....

Warning: Um, don't play today's audio at work. Or in front of your small children. "I can't see the trees for the domino...

"Don't play bingo. Legs eleven, my giddy aunt!" "Who said ants are strong? I can still- I can still- I can still- I can...

"Forks. Forks to the left. To the left! No, greasy mugs go there. You really have everything ass-fucked backwards, don't you."...

Something went wacky with the recorder last night, so I missed out on whatever Adam said. I'm a bit gutted. To make myself feel better, ...

"I got one. I need two. It's useless without two. With two, I can take over the freakin' world." "I know it's a...