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Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20091230

Dec 29 2009

"It's CHICKEN and you LIKE IT. Lentil-loving, bean burger-shitting wanker."

"Vegetarians will be the first to go. That's my plan. Vegans haven't got a hope. 'I eat air, I'm so healthy...' Bollocks!"

"Put it down! Step away from the yam. Step away!"

"Fluffy bunny + twitchy nose + big ears = great stew."

44 comments:

  1. Umm, how does he pronounce "+" and "="?

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  2. probably "plus" and "equals" respectively

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  3. "Fluffy bunny + twitchy nose + big ears = great stew."

    ^ this has got to end up on a tshirt.

    Btw, do you sleep at all? :) or do you just record every second of your nights?

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  4. Thats some pure Hunter S. Thompson in there.

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  5. Brilliant stuff, keep em coming, this site is the first one in the world that has ever inspired me to subscribe to an rss feed!

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  6. To answer "Btw, do you sleep at all? :) or do you just record every second of your nights?"

    When Adam starts talking, I always wake up. I used to then grab the computer and start furiously typing. Now I have a voice-activated recorder going, so I can just lie there and silently laugh.

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  7. "It's CHICKEN and you LIKE IT."

    Good God, this is amazing :P

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  8. i know some of these..
    "Lentil-loving, bean burger-shitting wanker"s

    hysterical!

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  9. He seems like kind of a jerk when he's sleeping. I hope he's nicer while awake.

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  10. Could you post some audio clips if you can/want to? I would love to hear these. :)

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  11. What strikes me is he's pretty nice actually, hardly a prejudiced sentence around.
    And I'm not calling the vegetarian prejudiced...

    Or are you editing/leaving out really bad stuff?

    I suggest a FAQ page.

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  12. i concur with the faq idea

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  13. I'm too skeptical of someone seeking attention to find these funny.

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  14. damn right about lentils!
    love,
    the usa

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  15. "Vegetarians will be the first to go. That's my plan. Vegans haven't got a hope. 'I eat air, I'm so healthy...' Bollocks!"

    That's just gold! I love it.
    http://brokewashere2010.blogspot.com

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  16. Adam is absolutely hilarious! I used to be a sleep talker myself, somehow I stopped over the years. Do you stay awake all night listening to him?

    Sophia
    Check out my blog!
    http://apoetscircus.blogspot.com/

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  17. I love the yam one ... t-shirt material, definitely ...!

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  18. I really love how eloquent he is in his sleep. I wish I was that eloquent even waking!
    This blog is amazing.

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  19. Love the fluffy bunny! I would probably get the shirt for Dad. (He raises rabbits for meat)

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  20. I have to ask is your husband a vegetarian? If so maybe some of his freaky dreams are his body craving meat. I mean he dreams about rabbit stew, chicken and pork chops, but regularly curses vegetables like lentils and avocado. He has become a great source of laughs for my teenagers and I, keep it up. Pip – Vic - Australia

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  21. I so, so want a t-shirt of the yam one!!

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  22. i think karen is a vegan :)

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  23. This is too funny - just saw the link from the times! I also sleep talk but usually talk about things happening in my life at the time. Sometimes it's random stuff but not every night, maybe once or wice a week. Although last week I actually got sat up in bed and started talking to my husband in my sleep!

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  24. my son aged 11 and my daughter aged 7 often argue in their sleep.they sleep in rooms opposite each other and sometimes these sleep rows can last 15 to 20 minutes. unfortunately they argue a lot when they are awake too.
    rachel hobson

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  25. Haha, does Adam have an aversion to vegetarians? Or is it just the sheer evilness of lentils? These are so funny! I'm a vegetarian. The anti-vegetarian ones are the funniest I've read!

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  26. the bunny one needs to be a t-shirt!

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  27. The vegan one is the best thing I've ever read. First time reader, now I'm hooked.

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  28. English people don't know what yam's are, we don't have them here

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  29. A yam is very similar to a sweet potato.

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  30. "Put it down! Step away from the yam. Step away!"

    "Fluffy bunny + twitchy nose + big ears = great stew."


    I totally agree! You could prove you own the rights to these phrases and sell them to T-shirt makers. They are GREAT! Your fortune awaits.

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  31. I talk in my sleep, but not like this and i have dreams/nightmares that usually revolve around what im saying. and i dont sleep with a phone near the bed anymore cause i called my nana once in my sleep. i didnt even know i had for several days.

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  32. i love the yam part...hilarious!!

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  33. excellent blog. Made my day

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  34. I'm just glad he doesn't sleepWALK as well...he'd go around killing vegetarians & vegans..

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  35. My hubby and I read the fluffy bunny one and laughed so hard we were in tears.....

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  36. I am dating a Vegitarian who has his own plans to exterminate all things kareoke when he takes over the world, I promtly emailed him Adam's quote. I am excited to see the stand off....

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  37. Please please PLEASE do a t-shirt with "Step away from the yam!" I would buy it in an instant. Hilarious!!!

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  38. What is it about Adam and vegans and vegetarians? Don't get it. At all.

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  39. It's CHICKEN and you LIKE IT. Lentil-loving, bean burger-shitting wanker.

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    www.jobzcorner.com

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