Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20100124

Jan 24 2010

"I'm here! I know, I brighten the room. Everything's better."

"No dog, no play. It's as simple as that."

"Yeah, falling in love is WONDERFUL. Especially when it's with me."

"Everyday you reinvent yourself into a bigger cock-shite than ever. It's incredible. I don't know how you do it. I admire you."

"Horray for me! Yup, I said it. Now the rest of you can join in."

__________

Karen's note: Wow, I guess all the positive attention is really getting to Adam's subconscious!

115 comments:

  1. OMG! That is toooo funny! He must have some wicked-wild, not to mention disturbing lol dreams!!

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  2. I haven't laughed so hard in I don't know how long! THANK YOU for being SO incredibly nocturnally hilarious!

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  3. Ha ha ha ha ! His head won't be able to fit on the pillow soon...

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  4. To all those sceptics, who the hell cares...the man is FUNNY. I love his positive image comments.

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  5. omg u soo need to video tape. i have been laughing soo hard, i have tears rolling down my face.

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  6. Does he remember any of this in the morning?
    It must be wonderful seeing all that shit
    I envy you Adam
    and you too Eve(Karen)

    Thanks

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  7. I love how he's so incredibly arogant in his sleep.
    It makes for hilarious lines.

    xo

    http://littleprincesssophie.blogspot.com

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  8. This is so hilarious. I dont know how he is when awake burning his sleep he has excellent self esteem. :-)

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  9. First sentence NEEDS to be on a t-shirt. NEEDS

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  10. I think Adam is believing his own hype?!?

    Haha! Can't blame him though.

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  11. Holly in Texas24 January 2010 13:41

    I would like to know if Adam remembers any of his dreams and if they correspond to the things he says. For example, zombie pigs and vampire penguins...what a crazy dream that must have been! Also has he ever been in a sleep study? This is really interesting!

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  12. I don't really think video would be such a good idea... Audio's good enough for me!

    I'd like to know the same thing that Holly in Texas wanted to know - does he remember any of his dreams?

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  13. If you read back through, Karen's said a couple of times that Adam doesn't recall a thing - in fact, he's often surprised by things he's said as some of the words aren't even things he would normally say.

    Hilarious stuff as always - 'No dog, no play' LMAO

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  14. Next he'll turn meta and start talking in his sleep about talking in his sleep. It won't be long now.

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  15. I started reading your blog about 2 or 3 weeks ago and I´m addicted! :) I love it! It´s sooo funny, it makes me laugh everytime. please keep on going :)

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  16. Yes, he does brighten the room! I can read them over and over and still I get a laugh. Thanks for sharing

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  17. The first one i'd SO get on a t-shirt!!

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  18. Hello! from Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. I was watching random MSN video clips, when I ran across on of Adam. I loved it! I completely believe Sleep Talking Man is real, as I know a couple of sleep talkers. It is not as frequent as Adam, but they have the same mix of profanity ("fucking masochists!" <- said with great disgust), and the absurd ("make them stop throwing walnuts!" <-- sing song voice, and arms up protecting face). Also, I don't believe the sincere joy and humour you share in your interviews is faked, you both come across as kind people with a love of humour. Thank you Karen, for thinking to share Sleep Talking Man with us. Thank you Adam for allowing yourself to be vunerable to share this private aspect of yourself with the world. I look forward to your postings, and am not disappointed when you get a good night's sleep, just keep sharing how things are going and what is happening in your world, because it is fun to watch the whole concept of going viral happening in real time. Cheers, and take care.

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  19. roflmbo ummm seems Adam has become a wee bit self inflated if only in his sleep lol... too funny. I have laughed adn laughed at this site and my kids now run around going It's BADGERTASTIC and Don't Put the duck there it's totally irresponsible...

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  20. Hi guys... I have a scientific question for you...

    Does his demeaner change, in his sleep, if you have had sex just before he drops off to sleep?

    Like he is more profane, or just plain weird, if he don't get his Thang on?
    Or is it the other way around?
    Is he dead quiet all night, because he has already had his subconsious "release", so don't need to in his sleep?

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  21. My wife and I have both become addicted to Adam's nocturnal mutterings, and have naturally shared them with as many friends as possible. Thank you, Karen, for sharing these and thanks, Adam, for being a good sport about it.

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  22. Poor Adam! I hope he doesn't worry that people are going to think he's really like this 'deep down'. I think we all have a bit of an arrogant jerk inside of us- his just wants to be heard! Thanks for being a good sport Adam and giving everyone a good laugh:-)

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  23. Love the, "No dog, no play. It's as simple as that!" one. That's definitely t-shirt material. Would be great printed on a dog toy too.

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  24. I love your blog, truly makes me laugh out loud and good for my soul!! I do believe this is real and find it so amazing to see what our subconscious does while we sleep, I would love for the Today show to do a follow up on this.

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  25. Mmm Hmmm, me thinks Adam is beginning to believe his own press clippings? Either way this blog is a very entertaining read.

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  26. LOL!!! OMG This is hilarious. I love it.

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  27. Those are Badgertastic!!!
    Had to. Had to.

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  28. hey everyone,

    yeah i seem to really be in love with myself right now. (note - myself being my subconscious self!). anyway to those people who ask about my dreams, i do not remember any dreams or recall sleep-talking.

    sleep talking is NOT related to dreams. dreams occur during deep REM sleep, whilst sleep talking is in a much lighter sleep state.

    hope this helps clear that one up!!

    adam

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  29. A friend of mine just turned me on to this blog and I just wanted to say thank you for sharing such an intimate part of your lives for the pleasure of others. It has made me laugh so hard I cry! Bless you both for making so many people smile. What a great thing! Cheers from Victoria BC Canada. <3

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  30. Sorry Adam, but I don't think you are an expert on sleep are you?

    Sleep talking can occur in both REM and non-REM sleep. Keep peddling that crap if you like, but not everyone is dumb enough not to do their own research.

    By the way, the audio clips have send the bullshit meter off the scale! Strange how you speak so clearly, its as if you were reading them. Hmmm?

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  31. Leonard Church24 January 2010 16:41

    @ Anonymous It's people like you who make people like me want to just leave the internet once and for all, Luckily there are people like Adam and Karen that make me want to stay. Please if you don't think its real then just leave.

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  32. Thank you for sharing! I see mugs, bumper stickers, pins, and keychains!

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  33. Adam, your sleep ramblings are great! My husband and I laughed our asses off. I almost fell out of my chair. I'm going to start checking your blog every morning to start my day off with a good laugh. I agree with Anonymous about the "no dog" one. This would be great for a T-shirt to wear when I take my dog to the doggie park.

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  34. Thanks for making my day.
    And making me smile! ;-)

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  35. Leonard,

    This is a comments page, not an "only post if you love this site" page.

    I am leaving a comment.

    Do you not understand the concept?

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  36. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  37. I especially love the 4th one!!! I can easily imagine my o/h saying that

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  38. Woo-hoo! I just ordered my "Badgertastic" messenger bag, and my 'Vampire Penquins' t-shirt. I'm Anonymous that lives in Ottawa, above. As funny as the talk is, I don't think I'd be near as enthusiastic if the two of you weren't such interesting people. Thanks for sharing your favourite things online, as well.

    Cheers.

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  39. True or not these quotes are so funny!!!
    I am going to read this blog so the good mood will come back. Thanks Adam and Karen, keep me amused.
    Giuli in Idaho

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  40. Hello! I'm from Chicago and I've just started to read your blog. I heard about you two on the news and I was curious about what all this was about. I'm just going to say that you two have made my life much more enjoyable! Reading about Adam's sleep talk just brightens up everything. Keep it up!!! Also, love the audio :D!!!

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  41. Relax people. I believe this is real. And even if it wasn't, somebody's got a great sense of humor. It's hard to come up with funny, random stuff like this even when you're conscious.
    I say, just enjoy the humor. My husband and I laughed our asses off from this blog, and now I'm a daily blog-ite. Thanks guys :)

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  42. Love your ramblings!! I'm thinking about making your site my homepage!! Such a nice way to start the day!! Keep yapping, Adam!! Karen, great job of posting!!

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  43. I just lost a job and fell into a black hole, crying and not answering the phone for 3 days. Then I read this blog and was actually screaming and crying with laughter, rocking back and forth in my chair in PAIN! Wow, sometimes it just takes ridiculous laughter to hit the restart button and get out of the black hole and start the next day. Thanks so much for your rants. A.MAZ.ING! I sent the blog site to everyone i know!

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  44. @Anonymous (posted at 16:33) -- What, are you an expert on sleep? Or did you just look it up on wikipedia? The body is paralyzed for REM sleep except for eye movements beneath the eyelids and obviously chest movements for breathing/heartbeat. Sleep talking and sleep walking occur during non-REM sleep. The only time that there is a person acts out/talks out their dreams is if the person has RBD (REM Sleep Behavior Disorder). RBD is linked with the use of drugs/alcohol or a degenerative neurological disorder. As RBD isn't extremely common, I would say that most likely Adam is experiencing common somniloquy, occuring during non-REM sleep. If you hear hoofbeats, don't assume it's a zebra, Anonymous; it's better to assume that it's simply a horse.

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  45. Haha! I think you are right-All this attention is going to his head: Literally :)
    But it makes for some funny quotes for us! Lol

    Hope you have a wonderful Sunday.

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  46. Maria McCarthy24 January 2010 18:30

    We absolutely love the audio clips! It's one thing to read what he says but to actually hear the inflection and cadence in his voice is fantastic!

    Talk On!

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  47. This is awesome! I have a relative that talks in their sleep and I will try to actually carry on a conversation with her when it happens. She will at times answer back. Have you ever tried that with Adam before?

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  48. This is narcissism at it's best! I love it! Karen, I don't know how you refrain from waking him up laughing...you must be smothering yourself with pillows half the time.

    I just hope you two have this much fun together during your waking hours.

    Kristal

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  49. Thanks for the audio! Love it!

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  50. So he fell asleep on the Sofa and you just happened to have the tape recorder handy? And this is a voice-activated tape recorder? So you said there in silence did you? No TV on? Just waiting for another quote to put on a new range of merchandise.

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  51. I don't remember where I found this site, but I've come back every day since! This is hilarious!! Can't wait for tomorrows!!

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  52. There is no way I'd believe this is real except for the fact that my husband is a constant sleep-talker as well. Him and my five year old son both talk frequently, almost on a nightly basis. My five year old yelled "Captain, Captain?" the other night until I walked in his room as said "what?" Then he muttered another sentence and I told him it was time to bring the ship in for a break. They both never remember anything they say and my husband is completely different in his sleep just like this guy. My five year old often talks about huge adventures. It's hilarious, but I rarely get a decent nights sleep...

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  53. I. Love. This. Sooooooooo much. My boyfriend talks in his sleep too but it's not as frequent OR hilarious!!! Thank you for posting this, it makes my day every day!!

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  54. Your husband is brilliant in his dreams. You don't post the result of his waking hours, so I can't speak for his waking self, but if *I* could write dialogue like the stuff he comes up with in his dreams, my books would sell a lot better.

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  55. haha i love karen's note at the end ;]

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  56. You all are wonderful to share this with us! I truly believe the sincerity of it and it doesn't matter because you bring a smile to so many faces-isn't that what's important? What an exalted place to stand in bringing joy into the lives of so many strangers amidst such difficult times and for nothing in return. Forget the doubters, unfortunately they are just robbing themselves of a much needed smile! Thank you and many blessings!

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  57. Your blog is Badgertastic. Yes, I said it. I'm incorporating Badgertastic into my vocabulary.

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  58. I am mildly jealous of your sleepless nights

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  59. Hello from Nova Scotia CANADA!
    We first heard about you and this site from one of my girlfriends students. (she teaches highschool)
    anyway, we check this site EVERYDAY! what a funny thing.
    we sit and laugh.
    thank you for this site!
    it has brought alot of laughs on this side of the pond!
    bobby and tanya

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  60. This cracks me up. I love how pompous his dreams are! One thing's clear, his subconscience has no self-esteem issues (other than the fact Adam's is abnormally high).

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  61. Hooray for you!

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  62. It's completely expected that Adam is going to get some hate and disbelief for this. Literally millions of people heard about this. Like many others have said, if they're making this up then... well I just can't see it. The shit he says is so random.
    There will always be trolls that think they are the most well-rounded, knowledgeable fucks on the planet.

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  63. I don't care one bit if Adam and his wife made all this up or not! It is bloody hilarious, and simply brightens each and everyone of my days. I thank you both for doing this blog! Thank you!!!

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  64. These are simply amazing! Nothing like what I hear at home!

    My brother plays videogames in his sleep, and has quite the potty mouth.
    My father ALWAYS coaches hockey in his sleep, and he swears like a sailor, and tries to sell you insurance in his sleep.
    I am able to have full conversations with people in my sleep and have no recollection of what was said or what the dream was about "Goodbye" "Sarah, where are you going?" "The Never-Ending Never-Ending..."

    I love reading your blogs, Great great content!
    Regardless of if its "Fake" or some shit, the stuff on here is classic and makes me laugh! :D

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  65. This blog is amazing. I couldn't stop laughing at the pirate ones. He must have some crazy dreams.

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  66. yeah, he just loves himself XD

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  67. Fantastic news that the mugs are available now!! Will you be doing more phrases on them as well?

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  68. Que curioso caso... esta xvr

    Otorongueando.blogspot.com

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  69. cant get the audio to play any sugestions?

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  70. steve,

    more phrases will come, we didn't want to overload the system just yet!! which phrases are you most interested in seeing on a mug?

    adam

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  71. whenever I feel like I need a laugh I listen to the audio, can't wait to hear more recordings! by the way, what the F is a cock-shite?

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  72. Karen --- I agree, try to carry on a conversation with him. Ask "Who Are You???" I bet you get a hysterical answer!

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  73. oh my, thank you! I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who's hubby talks in his sleep.
    I have answered questions and done stuff like handed him 'keys'. Its rather funny and interactive at times.

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  74. Nix those negative nellies! This stuff is fantastic! :-)

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  75. I do not care if it is real or fake (though I tend to think it is absolutely authentic, especially since my 17 year old talks in his sleep also and has had us in hysterics!) - this is FANTASTIC! In fact, it's damn BADGERTASTIC, even!

    I just want to thank you SO much for the laughs. I normally ignore my mother's relentless onslaught of email nonsense, but I am absolutely thrilled that I did not delete the email she sent me that had this link!

    Brilliant!

    Thanks again.

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  76. OMG! You've GOT to put the first one on a onesie! :)

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  77. Thanks for the entertainment! I appreciate the posting of your private sleep moments. Keep on blogging.

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  78. I really don't know how it could be fake, how the hell could anyone come up with such random stuff? It's hilarious.

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  79. New Zealand says Hi!

    Waaay cool site, Karen and Adam! It's now book marked for a daily perusal.

    I got the referral from the Andrew Sullivan website.

    RV in NZ

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  80. I read all the posts when I first found the site, now I'm trying to read all the comments, almost there, but the rest will have to wait until tomorrow.

    I was so happy to see that mugs have now been added. I've already got an order in for two t-shirts and a messenger bag, I'll have to put another order in for a mug or two.

    Any chance to get the mugs with a colour option?

    Oh, and in regard to some other comments, don't edit out stuff, one person's boring is another person's gold. Also, to me part of the fun is the mixture of stuff he comes out with.

    Also, I have loved reading other people's stories, and included a couple of my own previously... the naysayers don't understand just HOW much it rings true (the absurd, the ego, the swearing, the voice change/sing song). I think that is part of why we love it so much, many of us can either relate because of sleep talking or dreaming, in ourselves or others, that is hilarious. I've not ever said much out loud that I know of, but I remember some completely absurd and surreal dreams sometimes.

    Finally, suggestions...

    Mugs:
    "Skipping to work makes everything better."
    "Deedoo. It's a deedoo. A deedoo...Oh, it's not a deedoo. I have no idea what it is."
    "Do you like what you see? No? Well, bloody look harder. Strain your eyes!"

    Audio suggestions:
    Gummy bear
    Fishykissy
    Don’t eat the jelly!

    ...and I agree, video is too personal, and I wouldn't want every thing in audio.

    Thanks for making this all so much fun, and sharing it with us.

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  81. Oh! and the ducks! The ducks MUST go on a mug. Must.

    PS - you are both Badgertastic!

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  82. hahah classic. The pirate one is still my fav.

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  83. I agree with Carla. That first one would be awesome on a baby shirt:-)

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  84. This made me and my husband giggle like little girls. We will be ordering t-shirts soon!

    I say ringtones next! Yes, no....maybe?

    Keep it up. It's classic and hilarious and you bring joy to people.

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  85. HAHAH! I love this man! Went to watch all the related video ;D Just can't stop smiling..

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  86. HI guys!

    The "Being in love" quote is PERFECT for a Valentine's Day t-shirt... please?!?!

    And yes, the first quote is also excellent... in my waking life I sometimes joke, "I'm here, the party may begin..." but Adam's sleep-life quote takes the cake!

    My husband is an occasional sleep-talker, but all he mumbles is word salad... syllables and noises that are ALMOST words, but are all jumbled up. It's bizarre, because it's like another language. Typically I'll say, "What??" and he'll say something equally cryptic to clarify... He swears he doesn't, of course. ;)

    I second the ringtones motion.

    --Elfi

    (PS: I work in a large pet supply store... yesterday I saw a dachshund waddle-scampering around as they do, and I thought the "Badger tickling" quote would look so funny on him, since dachshunds were bred to tease out badgers.)

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  87. I want "Horray for me! Yup, I said it. Now the rest of you can join in."on t-shirt!

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  88. Has anyone else noticed how he has been saying so much more since it is becoming a news topic?

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  89. I want "I'm here", "Brighten the room" and "Horray for Me" all on purchasable items....

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  90. I can't believe I am just learning of this site. I laughed so hard I cried! Brilliant! Can't wait to read/hear more!

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  91. I don't believe it's real either but it's still really funny.
    I do think that they started the lie to get their cafepress stuff sold but I don't care. It makes the world laugh and we need that!

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  92. Is there audio for this one? Or are the clips in the sidebar all we get?

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  93. I love this blog. adam, you are genius mate... My new ringtone is "BUTT CHEEKS AHOOOOOY"

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  94. Sorry guy, no audio for any of these, it was an unexpected bonus and the recorder was in the bedroom. I was just sitting next to him on the couch trying to keep up typing.

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  95. I have to agree with boardindaup, I don't care if it isn't real, the randomness of it all is fun enough! The science to it can take a hike, I rather enjoy it for what it is. ^_^

    Thank you so much for posting these. Adam, you're awesome for being able to separate yourself from these and being able to laugh at them as well. Keep up the great night musings!

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  96. This stuff is hilarious. I have talked in my sleep a few times and said some crazy stuff my ex husband would tell me some of what I would say and I wouldnt remember. So I believe this is real because I have done this myself although not nearly as frequently as Adam.

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  97. A friend showed me this site a few days ago and I LOVE it! I don't care if it's true or not (though I tend to believe it is, since my hubby has sleep-talked on occasion, though not as clearly or frequently) but it sure does brighten my day!

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  98. I need to find a way to work "cock-shite" into a sentence.

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  99. For those of us who have sleep talkers in our family, we know these are true! My dad actually fell out of bed once trying to save a goal and he's never even played hockey! He also cusses a lot in his sleep. Thanks so much for posting these, they are hilarious! Going to order the Badgertastic shirt for my boyfriend in red, since he's a University of Wisconsin alumni!

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  100. Cheer up, Stoichkov! Adam went and made a whole new quote - just for you! (see #4 above.)

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  101. So, the subconscious is egotistical? Who knew?

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  102. Your husband seems to have quite the obsession with animals.

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  103. I absolutely love this site! My daughter will carry on conversations in her sleep and never remembers them the next day either. However, while the things she says and does are humorous, they're nowhere NEAR this funny. My son and I were busting a gut laughing at these. Chilli in the vagiiiiiiiiina was our FAVORITE! Please keep up the blogs, and add more audio as soon as you can! In this day and age, when ppl are so stressed out, this is the perfect distraction!

    Tami from Texas

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  104. "Hurray for me" needs to to be on a shirt. Keep up the good work

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  105. My fave... "I'm here! I know, I brighten the room. Everything's better."

    Totally not lacking self esteem. I love it! :)

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  106. I came across this site a couple of days ago, and I'm now checking back daily, just so I can read something I KNOW is going to make me laugh out loud.

    And as for those that say his speaking is too clear for him to be asleep? Not everyone mutters when talking in their sleep. In fact, I know someone, who, when they do start talking in their sleep, you can carry on a conversation with. True, the conversation might not make much sense, but the speech is quite clear, and there is no mistaking what was said.

    Anyway, Karen (for thinking of recording this stuff), and Adam (for being so chatty (and funny) in your sleep), keep it coming! Most of the naysayers are trying to pick it apart because they don't have something like this themselves!

    Laughing out loud in Newfoundland,
    Cayla

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  107. OMFG, real or not the randomness of the comments is just pure gold. I can't stop laughing at them.

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  108. Sleep talkin' man seems to think very highly of himself lol. It is a recurring pattern.

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