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Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20100321

Mar 21 2010

"I could have sworn you put the bed here. Why am I laying in all this shit? You moved the bed! You moved the bed. Don't ever move the bed again."

"There's only one thing that comes as close as being as fantastic as me, and that's my reflection. All hail the beautiful mirror. Wow."

26 comments:

  1. The mirror one is AWESOME. For a second there I thought he was going to compliment someone else. I was shocked that he would do that! And then he said something so very normal. :D

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  2. You should group these particular type of sayings under a category called something like EGO or NARCISSIST. These quotes are just plain fun to say around a bunch of friends ending of course with proper mention of the source :-)

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  3. "All hail the beautiful mirror" PRICELESS!!!

    http://reneetbouchard.blogspot.com

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  4. I second Anonymous' recommendation: the quotes could use tags. I have some suggestions:

    Animals
    Ego
    Food
    Insults
    Surreal

    Any other suggestions?

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  5. I love how -modest- Adam is when he's asleep. It's extremely, extremely amusing to me.

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  6. I love the mirror quote! I think I might etch it onto my makeup mirror. What a great boost to the ego at the start of the day. :-)

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  7. He speaks so perfectly in his sleep, in perfect sentences.. I kinda have to wonder if some of it is made up.

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  8. Brilliant!!!! I couldn't come up with this stuff while I'm awake... and if it's made up so what... it still makes my day everyday

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  9. The first one is awesome. I imagine Adam waking up laying in some random stuff in the room confused about where the bed went. You moved the bed right out from under him!

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  10. Prof. ZzzMAN-ylizer21 March 2010 at 17:04

    --- dreamin' isn't always a bed of roses it seems in candoodoo Adam's world...

    maybe tomorrows continual dream inducement will place you in a pile of light snow tossings and turning to angel it out visually and mentally waking with a smile...no more icky brown goop,

    but white stuff full of lightful dreams, and green stuff for a king size bed so one never will ever have to move it again and not to snort in disgust, it t'was only a unfinished piggy dream comin' back to haunt you ....

    then a-a-again, Wow, the beautiful trusty mirror will hail mary with your reflection to ward away from those evil spirits that may be entering from the door to cause you grief...from a good nites sleep today

    ... "There's only one thing that comes as close as being as fantastic as the adamUR, and that's waking from a peaceful sleep with whatever means possible,

    thats the tricky subject. ooooohhhhhhhh..halloweeeen it out, no chocolates today, gives sh*ttin' goosebumps with things that bump in the night, "bed...STAY PUT..."

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  11. As someone who is married to a sleeptalker myself (though my husband isn't nearly as hilarious) I can tell you that it is quite possible for someone who is fast asleep to speak in perfect sentences. I've had full blown conversations with my asleep husband, not realizing he was asleep until mentioning it in the morning. Karen and Adam, don't let people get you down. I love reading your posts everyday. And the days you do add explanations, such as yesterday, thank you! There are a lot of people who *aren't* know it alls and need explanations. So again, thank you and keep it up!

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  12. I getting to think Adam should undergo 'strong cheese before bedtime' experiments.
    I am so curious at the outcome, I think he could hit a surreal narcissistic peak depending on the choice of cheese.

    I would like to recommend we commence with (*in order).

    1, Mature / Strong English cheddar.
    2, A graded Stilton experiment, finally moving to 15 year old potted mature.

    ... please suggest other cheeses that gave you strange dreams and the respective strengths.

    This could be a further goldmine.

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  13. I love the mirror quote!!! Hilarious!

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  14. Yes, the mirror is pretty fantastic.

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  15. I have heard this about cheese.

    I was thinking I should start keeping a food log, and measuring it against how much he speaks each night.

    The thing is, his talking usually happens in the very early morning hours. Would a particular food still be having an effect 9 hours after eating?

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  16. My husband once told me that I spoke of rainbow Monkey people in my sleep. Last Night the sound of my own voice woke me I was muttering i assume it was about the centipedes I was dreaming about.

    I ussually remeber what i am dreaming when i sleep talk but I rarely am that humorous . Adam Is awesome

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  17. Just want to say that I absolutely love this blog. I check it every day just to see what crazy stuff Adam came up with last night. It's funny to think that the midnight ramblings of someone I've never met (and who lives on the other side of the world) can make my day, but they really do! Good on you Karen, and Adam... keep it up!

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  18. Agreed - the mirror quote is totally, totally hilarious!!!

    The bed one makes me giggle after defending pigs a few days back as only being stinky 'cause they're made to lay in their own sh*t.

    LOL Anon at 17:26! That is one experiment on Adam I could get behind. I don't even know what Stilton is, let along "15 year old potted mature." Sounds like some very... serious... cheese.

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  19. I have never heard that about cheese and am now wondering what i say in my sleep because to me, cheese is more or less it's own food group!

    I absolutely loved "all hail the beautiful mirror!" ROFL!

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  20. It is completely possible to speak in full sentences in your sleep. My sister does it all the time, and gets very pissed off at me when I don't answer her questions (which usually are completely absurd, such as "what did you do with the green button? Don't press it! Armageddon!"). If I don't go along with her sleeptalking or try to tell her she's sleeptalking, she gets very, very angry. Once she threw a slipper.

    I really love how egotistical these ramblings are at times. He must have good self esteem!

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  21. oh my goodness.. Dread Pirate Sara.. that actually is quite funny.. perhaps you should try replying something very random in response to your sister's questions and see if she responds to that or just continue her line of thoughts..

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  22. The mirror quote definitely goes in my favorites! I've been a silent visitor for a while now, but I just had to say STM always makes my day.

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  23. Not sure who is having a better time...Adam or the Mirror!

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  24. Sara -- google "word salad"!

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