Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20100326

Mar 26 2010

"Tiny tiny tadpoles. Millions of the wriggly little buggers. Don't give 'em feet yet! Too soon."

"Yeah, I want a bike with 128 gears. Fuck off, I'm not gonna ride it, schmuck. I wanna BRAG about it."

"No emails? Is it working? Don't you want to speak to me? (whines pathetically) Communication paranoia!"

"Oh, put the phone down... No, you put it down first.... No, you... Just put the arse-rimming pig-fucking mother-shit fuck phone down! Jeeesuuuusssss... Whatever."

 or click here

49 comments:

  1. Must.Not.Giggle.In.The.Office....I love these so much!!!!!!!

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  2. I love that he whined a little about not putting the phone down.

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  3. This could quite possibly be the funniest website I've ever seen. Must have read all of 'em about 10 times now! Keep it up!

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  4. My, my, aren't we the whiney little boy?? ahahahaha!!! Love it =D

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  5. It sounds like he says "arse-rimming" not "ass-rimming".

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  6. Hahaha. Sleep talkin' man cheers me up...sets my mood for the whole day.

    Today will be a GOOD day!

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  7. thats a new end to the "I love you, night." "I love you too night" conversations I've had with my ex boyfriends

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  8. LOL, love it! Thank you for an awesome start to my Friday morning!

    www.decoratingmysoul.blogspot.com

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  9. Come on you really expect us to believe this is not put on!

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  10. Anon 13:30 and 13:32 - do you really expect that we believe you don't love this the way we do!!!! Otherwise, you wouldn't even be here!!!

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  11. Ah! The only thing that makes life worth living for me nowadays seems to be this blog.

    Thank you Karen and Adam.

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  12. Communication Paranoia! Genious! That's worth a T-Shirt

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  13. The bike with the 128 gears reminds me of when I had a Commodore 64 and my friend got the Commodore 128. I was sooooo jealous. But Danny was a smug prick about it too.

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  14. This audio fragment is epic

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  15. Karen, since Sleep Talkin' Man is a completely different person than waking Adam, you don't mind that I'm totally in love with STM, right?

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  16. I have to second what super gogo said ;)
    I love that last one! It reminds me of the giggly new-love phone conversation endings: no, you hang up first... no you... no you... Only far more violent, in true STM fashion.

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  17. this audio clip is my favorite! i love the cutesy whining while he says such violent things, lol!

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  18. Haha the last one reminded me of this comic: http://xkcd.com/698/ If you mouseover the comic, there's more text. =)

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  19. Anon 13:35 do we need to worry about you? Reality bites for a lot of folks right now but I hate for anyone to look for permanent solutions to temporary problems--this too shall pass...slowly...but eventually...

    I don't usually put my blog link here because I write about lifestyle issues of aging American Boomers (probably for the parents of most of the readers of this blog) but if Anon 13:35 needs someone to talk to, he or she can connect through www.daydreamersdaughter.blogspot.com and I'll check in again later today just for you...

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  20. super gogo and Amanda: Given what a jerk STM can be, you guys can have him!

    No! I don't mean it!

    But I'm happy for you to love him from afar.

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  21. I am saving up for one with 100, not 128 though. lol

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  22. Seems like his nocturnal ego was feeling vulnerable last night. Not as self assured as usual! :)

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  23. this is my new favourite site. gives me such a good laugh every time!

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  24. ROFLMAO! I love it that STM says what we all wish we could say in certain situations!!!

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  25. Oh and I forgot... The tadpole comment looks like the audio clip would be funny, especially if Adam did a few of those little sing songy inflections. At least he was worried about them being too tiny for feet! LOL!

    Karen don't let the negative people get you down. The web is a huge faceless mob of spinless jellyfish who would never have the huevos to tell you to your face that your blog isn't real. Some internet posters are just lonely sad little damaged people who have nothing better to do than spew bile all over the web all day long. So in honor of how much I have enjoyed this blog I say to them, "Cock off! Get a life, or maybe a job you arse-rimming pig-fucking mother-shit fuck!" Ok, now I've cracked myself up!

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  26. I love this site - cheers me right up it does!

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  27. Prof. ZzzMAN-ylizer26 March 2010 at 21:46

    STM has got quite the unreal BRAG book to peddle about and we want it.. in print someday soon?... no emails now and again as last night being the nite.talker UR...blah, blah, blah...one was busy at another function...

    on the tele.phoney Ke$ha notes that puttin that phone down in the first place is one way to party hardy...but then again, since Karen was on the other line, that was the best way to pull away from that dreamstate rowdiness crowd and still, that phone connection was a hard habit to break from, being away from, though it being the next best thing to not being right there from...just deducing...whatever... it was somekinda communica-breakdown...

    time to ride off into the sunset where dreams become real once daybreak emerges and riding thru this beach of a sandy situation where those "Tiny tiny tadpoles. Millions of the wriggly little buggers. better keep to the shoreline...Don't give 'em feet yet! Too soon." or
    this ride will do a 360.wipeout.128 in pronto-time...aside from the developing froglet ponds to let tuce leaves one to swerve thru in galoshes, a race to another awfully dry
    ending toa tad invasion attack to leap frog out of this ribbit hole
    a tadpole too talltaled'n crudely created
    blah blah bluubbbb-blubbble

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  28. I'm curious if Adam wakes up feeling refreshed, or if he's just exhausted from all that brain activity through the night.

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  29. Soooooooo funny!!!

    Don't give 'em feet yet- I want to BRAG about it- Communication paranoia. Every one made me laugh.

    And that whiiiiine! I don't think he's whined quite like that before. How fun to see a new side of STM. And yeah, quite the new ending to the standard mushy "nooo, you hang up first" conversation!

    Anon at 20:16 - your comment was so cute. :) :)

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  30. COMMUNICATION PARANOIA!
    That one needs to go on a shirt!

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    Hello Friend, I love love love your blog, it‘s very interesting!!! I really like your style!! i‘ll visit you many times for sure honey.

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  32. I have to say...who really cares if its real or not???? Its FUNNY and first thing in the morning thats all I care about! If its a big put on then good on ya for coming up with this stuff...I wish I was that creative! And if its real then good on ya for sharing it with us! Personally I believe its totally real and I'm just glad that it keeps on coming. Getting up and making breakfast for the kids is so much more pleasurable when I get to have a good laugh while I"m doing it!

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  33. hahahhahhahahahahaha i love this! hes so clever in his sleep haha awesomeness

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  34. he has sleeping tourettes syndrome for sure

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  35. My eldest daughter is 1000 miles away at university this year and yet we often share these by text~so thank you for sharing these and providing us with long distance laughter :)

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  36. 128 Gears? Wow STM is incapable of thinking small! Hahahahaha brilliant.

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  37. Love the 128 gear bike comment and shared it on
    Twitter. It's like the wealthy people who buy expensive bikes, never ride them, and upgrade the components annually. I knew a lawyer who bought a bike that was custom fit to him. He rode it once and parked it in the garage. There are a lot of wankers like that.

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  38. This is EPIC!!!

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  39. If it is fake you still have to give big credit not only for the creativity but for the very convincing audio.

    Personially I think it is real but I cant help but wonder what would happen if he stopped talking...

    I really had good laughs here!

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  40. I forgot to comment on this one :) Anyways, I love the last one. I don't think I've heard him whine like that before. And he sounded so much like my little sister whining about getting off the phone and saying "whatever". I turned around just to make sure she wasn't the one who said it. Thank you for making me laugh these past couple months!

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  41. Great to use as the greeting on my phone answering machine

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  42. Amazing, this really is stunning. Think about every one of the reading and creating you could do this... Cool in the winter months even though.
    Cheap Diablo 3 Items

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