Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20100520

May 20 2010

"They're not love handles. No. I've got love impact protection barriers."

 or click here
"Stay where you are. You're making me look amazingly brilliant."
 or click here
"You wanted to be WHAT when you grow up? Boy, you must be SO disappointed the way your life turned out. So sad."
 or click here
"Sit down in the front. Sit down!"
 or click here
__________

Karen's notes: What does everyone notice about today's talking, hmm? Come on, you can spot it... Got it yet? Here's a hint: it's something missing... No?... SWEARING. There's not one little bit of swearing today. Now, last evening I mentioned to Adam that, lately, nearly every single thing he said included swearing. I wasn't criticizing, just noting, but it appears his subconscious felt chastened.

Don't worry, I'm sure it won't last.

48 comments:

  1. laneylikewhoa20 May 2010 07:16

    LOVE the first one. :]

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  2. I agree that those in front should sit down. Really.

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  3. hmmm... its strange how it doesn't feel as funny without swearing. Its just boring. But I do like the love handles bit.

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  4. That second one makes me imagine that Adam is dreaming he is Zaphod Beeblebrox.

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  5. The "Stay where you are" one needs to go on a shirt!

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  6. :-) I'm sure it wont' last either.

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  7. "Stay where you are. You're making me look amazingly brilliant."

    Most definitely a candidate for a T-shirt.

    Cheers from Annette in Oz - I can't get through the day without checking your blog :)

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  8. That first one is bloody brilliant!!! WHAT in the jolly-green-giant's-underwear does he mutter at the end???

    The second one...LOL, there's the ego poppin' up again!!!

    The third one...I think I might cry on this one :*-( (okay, I won't if I don't think about it).

    The fourth one...hmm...wonder what was going on there.

    @Karen...I'm guessing that it won't last long either lol.

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  10. I've definitely got love impact protection barriers. Never mind a t-shirt, that needs to be printed on a pair of shorts.

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  11. I'd like to be the first to say that the first one would be great on a t-shirt...
    Unfortunately, I'm NOT the first, I'd just LIKE to be!!!

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  12. The swearing may be subsided in these, but I see the arrogance hasn't waivered.

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  13. hahaha I'm gonna have to use that first one at some point in my life - brilliant!

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  14. I think the last word after the love handles is "Fool!". And yes, I'd wear that t-shirt.

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  15. Anon at 09:53. I also think he says "Fool" at the end of the first one.

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  16. While shopping yesterday I overheard a mum say to her kid "your lazy aren`t you?" The kids response? "I`m not lazy I`m a tortoise"

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  17. Must have used up all his swear words the night before.   8^)

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  18. Must have used up all his cuss words making the website the night before!

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  19. The First One Is The Strongest. The next two are pretty good too.

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  20. Lol, I love this site. Thank you for sacrificing a bit of privacy to make my morning every day! STM is a riot :)

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  21. Karen, how you are able to keep from making this an all out social experiment is beyond me. It's interesting to me how lightly he must sleep to remark on your movements and actions. I'd be saying random things and doing random things to try and influence his remarks. The shaking of the bed recently was brilliant. Thanks for sharing!

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  22. Oh, that first one is laugh out loud hilarious! I am going to use that!

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  23. I did notice the lack of swearing. I walked away from the computer and my young daughter walked over. I thought, "oh no... she'll read swear words." Then I came back and read the quotes. I got lucky today!

    I love quoting STM in my Facebook statuses. Statii? Thanks for the laughs. :)

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  24. I'd like to say that my night time wimpering and twitching is on an uptick lately. My partner blames my obsession with this site. The other night he was teasing me about letting the cats be outdoors cat, which I wholeheartedly oppose. I feel asleep during the teasing and said, "On my plate!" Now he's teasing me about eating the cats. Apparently Adam is awakening my subconscious. Be warned, people, this could happen to you too!

    I love the third quote today!

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  25. i love the second one. that should be a shirt, too. :]

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  26. I do believe that the first one should become a shirt!

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  27. Lovin the first one! That should become a shirt. The last one got "sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down you're rockin the boat" stuck in my head despite the lack of boat reference. But it's worth it cuz you guys keep me laughing through the morning.

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  28. ... and the devil will drag you under, by the sharp lapel of your (something coat)....: yeah i was Nicely Nicely jonson in my school play!

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  29. I think Adam is extra more clever without the swearing. But I'm a senior citizen so I might have a different sense of humor than most of this crowd.

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  30. The first one literally made me laugh out loud. That doesn't happen often. But my husband said something in technical jargon in the dead of the night last night, and I wish I could remember it now to share it with you all... but I didn't really understand it myself, as I'm not a computer geek like he is.

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  31. Nicely nicely! That's awesome!

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  32. I mean, honestly, I consider saying "You wanted to be WHAT when you grow up? Boy, you must be SO disappointed the way your life turned out. So sad." in waking life. Some people just need to hear it.

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  33. I think the non swearing STAdam is every bit as funny as swearing STAdam! The sarcasm and arrogance is really what make these hilarious!
    Cheers from Canada :) You guys are great.

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  34. Thank you, Adam. I've been trying to find a more adequate name for the love handles and this is definitely it!

    Love the other quotes, too! All good t-shirt material.

    As for the lack of swearing, I think that these are just as funny and, now, I can share them with my elderly relatives, too!!!

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  35. Everything this guy says is pure gold!! I don't get it. The rest of us could only dream of being so talented with our words.

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  36. I'm glad he doesn't have any swearing in this post, it's a good improvement. Anyone who says the swearing helps is messed up. ;)

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  37. Canadian Guy20 May 2010 23:22

    In the second one, he's saying "Just or something ending in st before the recorder activated.

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  38. OOO Love Handels would be GREAT on a shirt.

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  39. 2manywhiskers21 May 2010 01:20

    I also don't think the moratorium will last! And I agree that he's just as funny "straight", though today's weren't, to me, among his best.

    Anon at 14:44 - I am totally with you! I'd be dripping water on him, pinching his toes, blowing on his face, putting something strong smelling under his nose... I'm just sure I wouldn't be able to help myself. :) (sorry Adam)

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  40. The first one is great! It definitely needs to be on a shirt.

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  41. Go to www.wordle.net and check out the wordle of the webpage to see the most used words. It's titled Sleep Talkin' Man:)

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  42. @panwashu - You reminded me of something that happened with my sister & brother-in-law (BIL), who talks in his sleep sometimes and just retired from the Marine Corps.

    BIL (sleeping): "Go count the weapons!"
    Sister: "Um... we have 3."
    BIL: "That's not enough. Go count 'em again."

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  43. HAHAHA Impact Protection Barriers... MUCH better than when I told my BIL that he had love safety rails once.

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  44. Another vote for Stay where you are... on a tee shirt, please!

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  45. Here's a vote for the Love handles quote on a shirt!

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  46. I vote for Love Handles merchandise!!

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