Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20100525

May 25 2010

(I open the laptop in bed) "Mmmm, balls of light. Bibble bobbly bibble. Bibble bobble." (I quickly close it again out of guilt) "Oh, it's burst! I hope it enjoyed itself whilst it was around."

 or click here
(I think, screw the guilt, I'm bored, and open the laptop again. Adam sings:) "Here comes the sun. Hmm hmm hmm hmm. Here comes the sun, and I say... Hmmm. I said something. I forget what. Not important now."
 or click here
"I do stuff. Cool stuff. Not the pathetic crappy little stuff that you're so fucking proud of, fuck face."
 or click here
"Wow! You came! Everybody, everybody. After three, say: What the fuck are YOU doing here?"
 or click here
"That's a tortoise. Say it: TOR TOISE. Not a turtle. That's why your turtle sank. Poor tortoise. Never stood a chance."
 or click here

46 comments:

  1. Nice singing of Here Comes the Sun! :P I love all things The Beatles.

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  2. Good job knowing the difference between a turtle and a tortoise!

    First time commentator, just had to say something when I saw the turtle/tortoise comment.

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  3. LMAO!! Love it! P.S. I think he's said it before, but it's nice to know I'm not the only one who said "Fuck-face!" lol!

    Kimmie B from SK, Canada.

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  4. I'm assuming the tortoise/turtle comment from Adam is a dig at the American tendency to call both land-dwelling and amphibian chelonians 'turtles', whereas we Brits (quite properly of course!) have a separate word for each.

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  5. Lovely! Only one thing; doesn't he say:
    "I hope it enjoyed itself while it was around THOUGH?"

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  6. Heh "Hmmm. I said something. I forget what. Not important now." is something I say alot. I think.

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  7. Cannot stop giggling over the poor drowned tortoise.

    xx

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  8. Oh, but we were only talking about the tortoise / turtle thing yesterday because apparently what we in the UK call a tortoise is called a turtle elsewhere (ie. land living), and a sea turtle is one that swims (i.e what we call a turtle!) :-)

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  9. bibble bobble

    :)

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  10. I love how STM is talking based around things outside sleep.

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  11. My brother once saw that the terrapins at school had a tankful of water to play in, and reckoned that ours should, too. Poor little tortoises.

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  12. Hahaha! Absolutely love the first and last sentences

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  13. Gotta love STM and must admit his subconcious has a good taste in music :)

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  14. All of these were so fantastic! I laughed so hard. Adam, thanks for making my morning bright!

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  15. I want to tell my boss the third one...lol!

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  16. Looove the Beatles one

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  17. STM has a decent singing voice. LOVE IT!

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  18. FINALLY! someone else who knows the difference between the turtle and the tortoise. badgertastic! :)

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  19. I love the 4th one. Has to go on a t-shirt!

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  20. Yay, balls of light...bibble bobble. :) :) :) :)

    That makes me happy. :)

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  21. "wow! you came!..." should be a ring tone. got the perfect person to set that up for.

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  22. Prof. ZzzMAN-ylizer25 May 2010 17:46

    mm(*) @ (*)mm
    - a silly short.story board- - -STM's own words---

    ""Wow! After three,"Mmmm...Everybody, everybody...Adam sings:) "Here comes the sun. Hmm hmm hmm hmm. Here comes the sun, balls of light, Cool stuff..""I do stuff.

    Hmmm, fuck face; I said something. I forget what...I think, screw the guilt---I open the laptop in bed...Bibble bobbly bibble. Bibble bobble." ?""That's a tortoise. Say it: TOR TOISE.

    I quickly close it again, out of guilt, open the laptop again..."Oh, it's burst! That's why your turtle sank now...Not the pathetic crappy little stuff that you're so fucking proud of---I hope it enjoyed itself whilst it was around." Poor tortoise...Not a turtle. Never stood a chance."

    Say?: What the fuck are YOU doing here
    You came! ...I'm bored! and I say -Not important-
    .
    =O&

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  23. First there was the frog vs. lizard lesson, now the turtle vs. tortoise lesson. Many zoological lessons here!!! :-D

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  24. The bibble bobble bits are sooooo cute I listened to them again and again.

    Please Karen...more reveals!

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  25. I hope a waking version of your sleeping husband exists somewhere in the world. I would love to meet them.

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  26. "Wow! You came! Everybody, everybody. After three, say: What the fuck are YOU doing here?"
    That`s not the kind of thing you say at someone's surprise birthday party, Heh heh heh

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  27. I don't know where you Brits are getting your intel, but there are plenty of Americans who differentiate between turtles and tortoises.

    It is only the poorly educated among us who don't know the difference, granted we have those in abundance though.

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  28. Adam seems a lot more pleasant when the laptop's open - maybe you should experiment with different light levels?

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  29. Aww, "Here Comes the Sun" is one of my favorite songs. Thanks for making my day, Adam!

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  30. Hmmm.... My hearing's not that great; but I think he said "around her", at the end of the first one.....

    As for #2: STM just summed up the entire '60's experience in one line..... 7@=Q

    The last one: I can practically see him removing his hat, and gazing mournfully down at the little trail of bubbles in the pond........

    Oh, one more thing: if the Brits are so precise about the difference, why does *tortoise* shell come only from *turtles*? 7@=Q

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  31. 2manywhiskers25 May 2010 23:34

    Ohhh sooo funny!!!

    "Wow".... "What the f*ck are YOU doing here?" makes me laugh every time. But then most of these do! Bibble bobble... And sleep singing!

    You Brits have me - I am a total and reasonably knowledgeable nature lover, and have always referred to the tortoises around here as Box Turtles. (I do recognize it as incorrect, though.)

    No worries about the Tortoise - I have every confidence that he/she simply sank to the bottom and... walked out. They are ever so wise about such things.

    I'm still laughing about yesterday. I now imagine that it was either a very fishy-looking dog, or a doggy-looking fish, and he couldn't figure out which. And it was in a zoo full of such creatures, hence the "every time..."

    I LOVE it that you post all the audio now, Karen! Thank you thank you - it is so much fun.

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  32. I love #3. Love it. There are totally some people I want to use that on.

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  33. I agree with LA/wts sounded like "around her" to me too.

    "Hmmm. I said something. I forget what. Not important now."

    Can just hear Karen trying not to snicker in the back ground

    And I say: It's all right do do do-n-do do

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  34. I loved the first one but... why can't we hear the laptop close? Mine clicks shut...

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  35. Oh, that's because I only closed it far enough to darken the screen, not all the way. -Karen

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  36. It sounds to me like he said, "poor TURTLE, he never stood a chance" which make more sense in context?

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  37. I just came across this blog somewhat recently, it's fantastic! :-) I loved the "Here Comes the Sun."

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  38. OH EM Gee..he said "whilst". My day is now complete.

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  39. "Bibble bobbly bibble. Bibble bobble."

    Hahahahaaha, awesome! :D

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  40. Can we get the 3rd one as a t-shirt?

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  41. it's so hilarious that he started singing here comes the sun when he sees the light of the laptop. days later and i cannot get over it.

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  42. OMG I have a tortoise and that made me sad but still to funny for words

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  43. Ha- totally random that Adam sings "Here Comes the Sun" as this was our recessional song at our wedding only a few days prior. Apparently STM is more a part of my life than I thought ;-)

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  44. how wrong would it to call it "teenage mutant ninja tortoise" o.O

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