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Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20100601

Jun 1 2010

All of Adam's sleep talking occurred around 10:30 last night. We had gotten into bed early to read and relax, I was on a Skype call with my close friend Jenny, and Adam had drifted off to sleep. Suddenly, Adam came out with:
"You're the feather plucker! You're the feather plucker! You plucking out the feathers... Pluck off!"
Of course, I quickly went for the "record" button, and positioned my laptop over Adam's head for Jenny's benefit. She was lucky enough to catch:
"I'm not just good. I'm lick-my-parts tingling kind of good. Beat that."
 or click here
("beat that" was too quiet for the recorder)

Jenny and I started talking about sleep talking, and Adam decided to join us in the conversation:


 or click here

For those who don't have audio, I'm telling Jenny about the fact that one is paralyzed during REM sleep, and I finish with "Isn't that weird?" to which Jenny replies, "really weird." Adam, perhaps feeling left out, then chimes in with "totally weird, stupid doofus."

Don't worry guys, I'm not concerned that Adam was insinuating that either Jenny or I are doofuses, not to mention that fact that Adam has never used the word "doofus" in his waking life.

Jenny and I hung up eventually, but Adam still had more to share:
"The carrots are winning! Damn those parsnips and their stupid infighting. They've got so much to learn. Bring on the swede. Ooooh, that'll show 'em."
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I'll mention that I made chicken soup last night, which included all of these feisty characters. (for those who don't know, swede is the british name for rutabaga.)

39 comments:

  1. Ha! I love that he was joining in in his sleep! :D

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  2. Amazing! Sleep-talking is very weird...it is like the mind is paralysed in a dreamstate but you're senses still register things from the outside world and your mind interprets it as 'real' within your dreamworld, giving some awesome visuals! Not sure that makes sense but it is hard to explain!

    Anyway, all hail the almighty swede! Ha!

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  3. The intense delivery of "lick-my-parts tingling..." takes it to a whole other level of hilarity. I think Adam's varied methods of delivering his "lines" are 50% of the amazing equation. Love. It.

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  4. I agree with Wendy, reading the quotes are good but the audio really brings it all together in a brilliant way! I wish my boyfriend did such interesting things in his sleep haha!

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  5. You guys call swede WHAT now?! I mean I know about zucchini and eggplant and stuff, but that is just crazy talk! The things you learn from STM...

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  6. stupid doofus1 June 2010 10:05

    That's alright I know 'swede' but I always thought 'rutabaga' was a car brand. Totally Weird.

    xx

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  7. lmao @ lick-my-parts tingling!

    STM is hilarious! And a big Kudos to Karen and Adam for recording, allowing the recording and postings of the convos!

    Thanks for letting us know what British "sweed" is, I had NO idea.

    @stupid doofus --> perhaps you're thinking of a winnebego? (sp??)

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  8. Doofus is my insult of choice, must be a Brit thing ;-)I continue to tip my hat in your direction for the chuckles

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  9. I always thought that 'Swede' referred to us from Sweden. Apparently I was wrong.

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  10. Ah, 'swede' does also refer to Swedish people. 'Swede', as in the root vegetable, stands for 'swedish turnip.' Ah, Wikipedia!

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  11. "Swede" is NOT the British name for Rutabaga. Rutabaga is the American name for Swede (Swedish Turnip).
    The language is called English. When we cater to them we give them the impression they are correct.

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  12. But the name Rutabaga comes from the Swedish term, Rotabagge, so who's to say the British are correct in calling them Swedish Turnips? Language is a funny thing, as correctness is often relative. By the way, the Swedish word for Turnip is Rova.

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  13. Swedes are turnips in the north of England, and "neeps" for short in Scotland, usually enjoyed with haggis and "tatties"

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  14. Helen (Dogeared)1 June 2010 18:28

    So that's what a rutabaga is! I'd always wondered, but never looked it up.

    Sounds totally weird to my Brit ears, but that's probably the case for a lot of other languages ;-)

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  15. I'd have guessed "Bring on the Swede" was a Heartbreak Ridge reference. When they try to get rid of Clint Eastwood's character, they call on the Swede... this guy.
    http://www.hboasia.com/images/posters/378x195/heartbreak_ridge.jpg

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  16. To anonymous at 18:21
    I'm from the north of england and a swede is a swede and a turnip is a turnip. They are different vegetables.

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  17. Damn... I want some veg soup now and it is hotter than hell here LOL... wonder if my carrots will win... I totally agree with Adam...if the parsnips would only take a few lessons. Thanks guys for the posts hours of endless entertainment!!!! LOVE IT!!!

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  18. do you know if adam knows the band the presidents of the united states of america? cause they have a song called "feather pluckn" hahah and i was wondering if he was referencing that in any way :D

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  19. The carrots are winning! The carrots are winning!

    *tee hee*

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  20. I'm not the pheasant plucker
    I'm the pheasant plucker's son
    I'm sitting plucking pheasants
    And my work is nearly done

    Just a few lines from an old time music hall ditty, which includes verses from the pheasant plucker's wife, daughter, etc. Gets funnier as the performer has to speed up through each verse and, of course, get it right every time!

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  21. The sleep paralysis is a very interesting topic. I recently woke up from sleep, but my whole body was still paralyzed. I was completely conscious and could hear the conversation between my boyfriend and brother in the room. (I had fallen asleep on the couch while they were talking.) It lasted for about a minute and a half. I could not scream, kick, anything. I tried very hard to get them to shake me or call 911, but nothing. All I knew is I was paralyzed and nobody could tell because I couldn't communicate. Very scary. Once I woke up, I looked it up online. There is a period where you are leaving REM sleep and "coming back to life." Basically what happened is my brain turned my consciousness back on, but forgot to turn on my ability to control my own body. Anyway, that may be uninteresting and irrelevant to some, but due to the fact that it happened to me so recently and was mentioned by Karen, I wanted to comment! :)

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  22. It's not irrelevant April, it's scary as all hell! I had it happen to me a couple of times a few yrs back and it's the weirdest thing, made me wonder if i was actually looking down on myself and then i had no idea what was happening so tried to fight it and ended up not breathing properly - if only i had STM back then!

    And i'm glad the carrots won, parsnips are just evil..

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  23. Rutabagas: one of the great Comedy Vegetables of all time, along with mangel-wurzels, zucchini, kohlrabi, garbanzo beans and (in the Fruit category) kumquats.

    In an interesting side note, corn and lima beans are not funny individually; but when they get together, they form succotash, which is highly comedic. And the avocado is only mildly amusing in itself; but when it becomes guacamole, it is positively irresistibly hilarious..... 7@=Q

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  24. And here I was thinking of the Swedish Chef from the muppets. Now THAT would show the food.

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  25. i just noticed on fb that you grew up in jersey! i knew you were totally awesome for a reason! us jersey girls the the best in the world =P

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  26. @April (1 June 2010 23:33 )

    This happens to me most nights/mornings when I'm just about asleep/waking up

    Best way to get out of it is to focus on moving a fingertip or toe and as soon as you relax and move it a tiny bit, you get full control back.

    Used to be frightning when it first used to happen but you get used to it.

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  27. Also, don't forget the classic tongue twister:

    "I'm a mother pheasant plucker,
    I pluck mother pheasants,
    I'm the most pleasant mother pheasant plucker
    That ever plucked a mother pheasant!"

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  28. @April: I get that sometimes too, although not quite to that extent. Usually I'm semi-conscious and thinking that I'd like to get up and go to the bathroom or get a drink, but when I do the thing in my brain that usually makes me move, nothing happens. I usually interpret it as being too tired to move, and just fall asleep again.

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  29. LOL! STM and his vegetables. Perhaps we now know why STM hates vegetarians... vegetables play a large role in his imaginarium.

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  30. The language is called English. When we cater to them we give them the impression they are correct.

    but... but... *grabs a tissue, sniffles* Some how I don't feel catered to or under the imprssion I am correct.

    We may both speak English, but just because they are nearly the same here and there, doesn't mean we don't have our own words and meanings.

    =D

    "Oeuf means egg, chapeau means hat. It’s like those French have a different word for everything.” ~ Steve Martin

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  31. @Nicholsonuk Thanks for the tip! It kept happening to me off an on this morning as I would fall in and out of sleep. I realized that if I let myself fall back asleep for a bit and then re-awaken it would go away. Similarly, if I attempted tiny movements (like you mentioned above), I could slowly start to move the rest of me.

    It feels better now to have an understanding of what it is and that it will pass. Definitely scary the first time it lasts that long... where you can really ponder your own paralysis!

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  32. Vegetable death match! FIGHT!

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  33. This is a little irrelevent, but I sleepwalk. And sleepeat. And most useful, sleep-excrete. I didn't even know until my family told me about it. For awhile they thought I was awake.

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  35. My first thought at "bring on the Swede" is the Swedish chef character in the Muppet show. You know, the one who's always chopping up the veggies!? Anyone?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbs64GvGgPU

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  36. I have to mention, I am an S.P.V. sleep paralyasis victim, which means I wake up sometimes in REM sleep, I can tell you, it's an annoying and scary feeling, sometimes I can move parts of my body, sometimes I can not. Just letting you know!

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  37. On the line of the mother pheasant plucker, if he has ever done anything in a theatre(since you mention gaffer tape, I wonder), he is likely to have bits of that in his head since it is commonly used in warm-ups before curtain. My bf talks in his sleep a lot, and it's fun to try to figure out where bits of it are coming from.

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  38. but... but... *grabs a tissue, sniffles* Some how I don't feel catered to or under the imprssion I am correct.

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