Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20100602

Jun 2 2010

"Yes please. I'd like a panda burger with a side order of bamboo salad. That will work."

 or click here
"Buffalo wings? Are you insane? Those cows can't fly. It's a lie, I tell you. A f-fu-fucking lie."
 or click here
"Ah, cuddles. Stop squirming! Start enjoying."
 or click here

and here we are in the dead of night, having a ridiculous, confused, half-asleep comparative zoological debate concerning members of the bovine classification:

 or click here
__________

Karen's notes: For those who don't know, in the States, "buffalo wings" are little chicken wings in a delicious spicy/tangy sauce. Adam knows this.

Shameless merch news: Finally, I created a proper line of GREETING CARDS! And I'm absurdly proud of myself (I'm FAR from being a designer), so please go check them out, even if you have no interest in buying.

If there's a quote you would really like on a card, email and let me know.

72 comments:

  1. Ok Karen, the cards are fab!!!

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  2. Love the cards - well done Karen!!

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  3. "Don't criticize my subconscious sense of humour!" - favourite quote of the post. XD It could even become the tagline of the site.

    ...Mind you, here in Australia I'm not sure that they term those things "Buffalo Wings" - at least I've never seen them that way.

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  4. "When it comes to comparing an animal to a buffalo, surely it makes sense that I'd pick a... cow?"

    I love the intonation :)

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  5. Karen, don't criticise his subconcious sense of humour. Not all of us understand the minutaes of the bovine family lol.
    xx Good work guys. Keep on dreaming Adam.

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  6. Yum Yum panda burgers!

    http://www.meatandcheese.co.uk/acatalog/yum_yum.html

    :D

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  7. Buffalo's are the Quasimodo of bovines. They have a hump on their shoulders. Buffalo and bison are the same thing. There is a guy who lives 15 mins from me that has a whole farm of them...odd thing is he also has a giraffe and a zebra. Who is freaking Tennessee has a giraffe (besides the zoo) haha.

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  8. Love the greeting cards - have to find just the right occasion to give one...but, this is priceless:
    Product Information
    Greeting cards are for more than holidays; they are a great way to express yourself and to keep in touch with friends and family. A personal note on a beautiful card will make a lasting impression and a touching keepsake.

    It certainly will make a lasting impression, but not necessarily a "touching keepsake."

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  9. There are so many layers to that buffalo/cow situation!!

    So buffalo wings are actually chicken meat...and chickens don't really "fly" either.

    A note on semantics, and I'm sure someone will correct me if I'm wrong, but wouldn't a female buffalo be called a cow?

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  10. I NEED cuddles on a Tshirt......NEED it. People are ALWAYS squirming out of my cuddles. I so enjoy reading your blog!!!!

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  11. Maybe he means a beefalo? Cow X Bison
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beefalo

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  12. Great job on the cards Karen! Any thoughts of maybe offering a box of an assortment? That'd be up my alley since I couldn't begin to pick out a favorite one. Lol, so many would apply to folks I know. So....with an assortment box, I could insult them on a regular basis!!

    MOOOOOOO!!!

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  13. It's worth mentioning that buffalo wings are named that way because they were first made in the city of Buffalo, New York.

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  14. Love the greeting cards, Karen!

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  15. Love the cards. A box assortment would be so fabulous! It is too hard to choose.

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  16. I want "Don't criticize my subconscious sense of humour!" on a sleep T...

    You guys are both great!
    Thanks for sharing your conversations as well as STMs musings.

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  17. Karen, I think you did a wonderful job with the "Be my friend today" card - the picture for it is perfect!

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  18. Wouldn't you think it's easiest to add a few logos to each quote, ie order as card, mug, t-shirt or ringtone in standard design? There must be some way to automate most of the work, although I realise I make it sound really easy.

    Less work, more sales :)

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  19. Adam is actually right. Down here in Florida they cross breed Buffalo on beef cattle and call them Beefalo so they are definitely bovine and very much like cows.

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  20. Pretty sure that 'fat fucking lie' rather than 'f-fu-fucking'.

    Thanks for all the laughs, love the site!

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  21. I would have said cow's too. :) I understand your subconscious sense of humour...maybe its a british thing.

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  22. yoshida - god, that would be heaven. Unfortunately, no. I have to use four different shops to cover all of the products, and even the different products within each shop have to be built separately. Who knows, maybe there is something I can build that would bring them all together.

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  23. who are you to criticize his subconscious sense of humor? hehehe
    you may not consider yourself a designer Karen, but the new cards are seven different types of awesome. very well done.

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  24. Thank you so much, everybody, for checking out the cards and saying nice things. It was a labor of love (and has become a bit addictive!).

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  25. i celebrate your addictive tendencies my love.

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  26. Those greetings cards are great - i'm not sure a designer could have done much better! Has this become your day job and if not when do you reckon you will be able to give up the day job to take up the STM Day job?

    Let's hope Adam never becomes an insomniac!

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  27. Surprised only a couple people have mentioned it,

    But Buffalo ARE Bison,

    One thing I'm not sure on is the difference in where they're called what, but I believe Canadians call them one and americans the other, but I could be wrong on that point.

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  28. I use STM comments at work and pretend I made them up, everyone thinks Im a funny fuc*ker - but im just a fraud....a popular fraud...
    love the cards, good work Karen

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  29. Just to stick my 2 cents in...buffalo are actually bovine creatures native to Africa and Asia, where bison are bovine creatures native to North America. So, to call the American Bison a buffalo would be incorrect, but a common mistake, obviously.

    I absolutely love the cards and totally agree with the need for a boxed selection!!

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  30. "Don't criticize my subconscious sense of humor."

    That has got to be the site's tag-line, it perfectly fits the site. :)

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  31. Yes, Buffalo = American Bison. Though in the sense that they used to roam across much of North America - not ethnocentrism on my part. And yes, female bison = cows... female yak and female water buffalo also.

    As for the Buffalo/Bison nomenclature, Buffalo came from the French. Pretty much anyone who doesn't specialize in bovine relations simply calls them Buffalo, at least here in the states.

    I live in Buffalo, NY. If anyone wants to try some buffalo wings, I'm sure I could give you the name of a restaurant to contact.

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  32. way to go with the greeting cards! That looks like a lot of work! congrats! I use a lot of exclamation points!

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  33. Is he still asleep in the last clip? :P

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  34. i think i <3 the conversations you two have more than the quotes themselves. you should post those more often. and defintely post "don't criticize my subconscious sense of humour" as the tag for the site. that is just badgertastic. :)

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  35. If it helps Adam out, here in the U.S. people do breed buffalo with cows then they refer to them as Beefalos I believe. I live near a ranch that does this in Tennessee. Sounds rather weird, but they are the same basic species and can interbreed. Although they look weird, and have no wings haha

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  36. "What's the difference between a Buffalo and a Bison? A Buffalo is a large bovine animal and a Bison is that thing you wash your face in."

    Say it in an Aussie accent and you'll get it ;).

    LOVE THIS BLOG!!!

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  37. Karen, I LOVE the cards! Planning on getting a few soon as payday comes. No intended recipients right now, but I'm sure I'll find reasons to send them.

    Adam, you are so sweet to Karen, if I weren't already married I'd be asking if you had any single brothers :)

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  38. I've never commented...but "Don't criticize my subconscious sense of humour!" - BEST LINE YET!!

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  39. Actually Buffalo Wings are named after Buffalo New York, where they were first served to hungry Yanky bar patrons, to help prevent them from bashing each other over the head with the furnishings

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  40. The link for the Panda Burger mp3 is broken, just to let ya know.

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  41. so many gullible people, it's genuinely quite disturbing to me.
    still, fair play to you both, never give a sucker an even break eh?
    keep peddling your merchandise, I congratulate you on your enterprise if not your morals.

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  42. A cow is indeed a female bovine. Any bovine, bison, cattle, whatever. A "cow" as most people mean is actually a "cattle" or is that plural? What would a single "cattle be?" So, a cow buffalo is correct. Adam had it right all along! A cow is only a cow once she has had a baby, by the way. Before that she isn't a cow!

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  43. I might add there there are no American Bison native to Buffalo, NY (although there are a couple of them living at the local zoo).

    Buffalo does indeed appear to come from French folks who saw the Niagara river and described it as "Beau Fleuve" ('beautiful river') which was subsequently transformed to 'Buffalo.' (I heard this at a lecture my first year studying at the University at Buffalo!)

    Of course, this sort of thing is fairly common. The English "Bowling Green" can been seen in France under the form of "Boulingrin." OK I'll stop now.

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  44. Such funny, funny listening and reading these past few days! Thanks so much, as always. And the cards are *fantastic*, Karen!!! Great work.

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  45. @ Mikey ... WE DON'T CARE! I wish *I* had his/their talents!

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  46. The creatures in North America that look like buffalo are actually American bison, but the naming convention tends to be very regional. In North and South Dakota, for example, they are called "bison" and people get very snotty if you call them "buffalo." In Montana and Wyoming, on the other hand, we call them "buffalo" and don't really give a shit what anybody else calls them. Either way, they are delicious. As are buffalo wings, but not as tasty as the rest of the buffalo.

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  47. Never been to Buffalo, myself...... I'm not very good at shuffling.... 7@=Q

    @Mikey: I believe it was P.T. Barnum who said, "More people are humbugged by believing nothing, than by believing too much."

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  48. Buffalo wings are named that because the sauce was orginated in Buffalo NY right? As far as Buffalo and bison well either way I wouldn't want to try and get wings off of them if they did have them.

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  49. I love that buffalo are the closest thing England has to cows....and his subconscious(sp?)sense of humor is fantastic...keeps me laughing for days!

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  50. North American bison, or buffalo, can iterbreed with cows, so I'd personally consider them both bovine.

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  51. Love the greeting cards! I can't think of an occasion or a person they would be appropriate for, but I love them anyway.

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  52. OMG, the cards are fabulous!! I've been reading this blog for several months now, and the cards had me laughing so hard I was crying. As soon as I have some spare cash, I'm buying one of everything! Thanks so much, Karen and Adam, for one of the highlights of each day. So much fun!

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  53. this is way too funny. i'm told i say a few weird things every now and then, but every night? my god...

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  54. Except we ~do~ have buffalo-bison here in Blighty now :P. Adam has clearly not kept up with his agricultural diversification newsletters.

    Shame on you Adam. Shame.

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  55. Those cards are lovely!! Very clever. Perhaps you SHOULD be a designer ;D

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  56. Love the cards, Karen! Perhaps you *should* be a designer =D @ Mikey...Kindly shut the hell up =) Even if this wasn't/isn't real, these guys have a brilliant sense of humor!!

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  57. Sorry for the double post! Lousy internets ><

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  58. Theyre called buffalo wings because theyre from buffalo New york.

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  59. Great site guys, i loved the squirmy cuddles!

    And Ledi you are quite correct - here in Australia we call them what they are, good old chicken wings... mmm i think dinner tonight has just been picked!!

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  60. You two have very philosophical conversations at 2:00 in the morning, don't you?

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  61. The cuddles quote just has to go on a shirt or a card or both!

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  62. I like your blog !!
    do not miss my goods , they are very beautiful !!

    acrylic jewelry

    Akoya pearl beads

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  63. The cards are fantasterrific! I believe the cake o'clock one will be making it into my shopping basket soon!

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  64. so...living in Wyoming (our state animal is the north american buffalo) I would say to Adam, that bovine and buffalo (also known as bison) are VERY close, closer even than Horses and Donkeys as a cross of bison/cattle (known as beefalo, which, as a side note are VERY tasty because they are lean and tender) are still able to reproduce, unlike mules. I hope that helped some! :)

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  65. Seriously, you have made my life with this blog. Freaking hilarious. You could not make this shit up! I've had experience with a sleep talker and I only wish he was this articulate! XOXO

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  66. I like your blog !!
    do not miss my goods , they are very beautiful !!

    acrylic jewelry

    Akoya pearl beads

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  67. Love the greeting cards. I think you should make some tee-shirts, though. I have exactly the customer for them!

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  68. Didn't they used to have wisent in England? They're almost like bison.

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  69. I normally get your feed in my Google reader, but today I stopped by your blog. Which is awesome. Both your blog and me stopping by. ;)

    I think in this one he is saying fat f***ing not f-fu-f***ing.

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  70. Dont critisize my subconsious sence of humor. Hahaha LOVE IT.

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  71. "Cuddles" would make an awesome baby onsie!

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