Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20100820

Aug 20 2010

"I am gonna grow my hair long, real long, and wear it like a hat MADE of hair. You know, twirly. Mr Whippy-head."

 or click here
"Scales. Must have scales. And razor claws. I want some feathers. And a goggly thing on its head. Yeahhh. Dinochicken. Awesome! I feel like a god. All right, what's next? Guineapigasaurus. Bring it on!"
 or click here
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Karen's notes: Mr. Whippy = Mr. Softee. For those who are still lost, soft ice-cream out of a big white van. But listen to this insanity— and this is one of my major complaints about England— Mr Whippy only comes in vanilla! Not once has some entrepreneur said, "Hey, you know what would be good? Chocolate soft ice cream. And maybe we can even find a way for people to get them mixed!" If you want chocolate, all you get is this silly little chocolate stick called Flake sticking out of your ice cream. And, despite the fact that I love the recent Flake advert, it is pretty shitty chocolate.

All I am allowed to say about the second one is that it is related to something at Adam's work.

Added later: Although I think flake is totally whack, all other Cadbury chocolate is delicious.

73 comments:

  1. Sounds like Adam has a very exciting job. Quite dangerous with all the scales and dinosaurs but exciting none the less

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  2. These are so whack. Does he think of this kind of stuff while awake, too?

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  3. we actually have chocolate soft ice-cream here (in sweden) and it's not very good actually, perhaps someone need to come up with a better recepie (sp?), it's not really line vanilla soft ice-cream, it's harder and not the same texture

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  4. I love the little gasp before he says "guineapigasaurus." He sounds so thrilled!

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  5. Hey now, don't dis the 99! We do need chocolate soft-serve over here, though.

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  6. Flakes are NOT shitty!!!!!!!!

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  7. The international chocolate scale is this:

    Switzerland > Belgium > UK > Every other country in the world > USA

    American chocolate is too sweet and milky.

    On an ice cream related topic, there is soft chocolate ice cream but the only places I have ever seen it is by the beach.

    And the point of vanilla only is that you go nuts with nuts, syrups, sauces, fudge, etc.

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  8. hey! don't slate the 99, it's awesome! why change it when it's already perfect.. ahhh british summer time memories

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  9. Somebody where I live actually does the hair thing!!! He's got pure white hair and he combs it all up from the nape of his neck until he looks like an ice cream cone - funny, I've never seen him outside when it's windy......

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  10. i've tried the pink/brown mr. whippy in some places, its just nowhere near as nice as the plain white one, even if it does look prettier. and hey, 99 flake is an ancient tradition!

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  11. also as a biologist I love the idea of creating a dinochicken...

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  12. TOTALLY agree on the Flake. It's the only Cadbury chocolate I can truly say I despise.

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  13. 1. Dinochicken and guineapigasaurus are hilarious!!!

    2. Flakes are a waste of money!

    3. What the heck is a 99??? (Canadian here)

    MilkyWay - best ice cream shop I've ever been to (as far as the ones in Canada :-) )

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  14. oh karen, this is the first time i've disagreed with you! perhaps you haven't had a proper flake. flakes in nz are awesome. most chocolate made by cadbury is awesome although i tried some when i was in canada and it was awful. different recipe or something for the north american market. ended up having to have cadbury sent from home.

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  15. Being British, I would be horrible offended by the comments against Cadbury's chocolate!But since its now been sold to Kraft, Cheesy-Chocolate-in-a-tube anyone?

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  16. sqeezychoccycheeze, yes please

    (do you know Adam?)

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  17. We have chocolate soft-serve here in Namibia and it's quite nice, actually. We also have strawberry and mixtures of choc/strawb, choc/vanilla and vanilla/strawb. And one of the soft-serve stands once experimented with lime flavour - weird but yummy!
    I'm of two minds when it comes to Flake. Sure, it's delicious and all, but it's also messy and expensive. It *is* nice in ice-cream, though.
    As for the dino-fowl, all I have to say is: LOL!

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  18. Actually Whippys come in Raspberry Ripple in Scotland too! :P

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  19. Heathen, Mr whippy with a 99 flake is the definition of what soft ice cream should be. Dont make me come down there!

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  20. i actually like flakes, much to the disappointment of karen! i like to crumble them up and put them into vanilla ice cream (add a double of extra thick double cream and i am in a heart attack heaven!) - adam

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  21. Karen, it must be love! You gave up chocolate soft-serve for Adam/STM. Don't know if I could do that.

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  22. No chocolate Mr Softee? What kind of a world are we LIVING IN?! I suppose they don't even have the chocolate dip, either? What about sprinkles?

    And Bobski: We actually do have some rather good American chocolate manufacturers (Ghiradelli for one), you probably just don't get it in the UK. I mean, what would be the point of importing good chocolate into Europe? And can I say, when I think of "good chocolate", the UK does NOT spring to mind just behind Switzerland and Belgium... >.>

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  23. You can get Pink and brown whippy's in the Uk - its just rare.

    99's Rock especially with strawberry sauce and nuts.

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  24. Theres a place in Exeter that does flavoured soft ice cream...

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  25. Mo, she gave up COOL WHIP!! now that is true love!! - adam

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  26. The second one really need some illustrations! I need to know how a Dinochicken and a Guineapigasaurus look like. Any cool illustrator who is reading this? :)

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  27. Adam works for a video game marketing company, right? Is the game he's talking about Spore? :P

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  28. How on earth is it possible to dislike Flakes? Seriously?

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  29. Jess, actually i work for an entertainment marketing agency specialising in film marketing.

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  30. Does Adam spend time at work playing a game called Spore? You get to create weird creatures with a any mixture of biological/evolutionary features.

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  31. Here in Texas we have a chain of dairy stores that are exclusive to our area. They sell soft serve that is actually frozen yogurt - vanilla, chocolate or twist (mixed) and it is unbelievably good - you'd swear it was ice cream.

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  32. mmm, think you need to come visit us in Africa, South Africa also has the choc, strawberry, choc/vanilla and strawberry/vanilla combos!! All with flakes is very YUM!!!

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  33. never had flake.... have had cadbury's chocolate before.... can only describe it in one word.... awesome.
    perhaps you and Adam could start your own soft serve ice cream store.... imagine all the new stuff he might come up with.

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  34. We do get chocolate and strawberry Mr Whippy at least my ice cream man does, and also a blue one, not sure what the flavour is meant to be!

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  35. I agree on the Flake! My Brother brought some to the USA from a Cadbury store. Everything was eaten except that flake!

    Geeze, now I really want some chocolate. Thanks Karen.

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  36. I must say...soft serve (tm) is not really ice cream. It's gelatinous goop, whether in vanilla or chocolate. As with liquor, stick with the hard stuff.

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  37. Karen, i agree flake is GEEEEROOOOOSSSSSS.... my grandmother got some for my kids and myself and i tried one bite and was like.. OMG NOOO! my kids didnt like it either, i should mention one is 8 the other 3... adn neither liked the chocolate,,, hmmm weird right it musta been gross :P

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  38. A flake is the definition of a 99 Karen! With lot's and lot's of raspberry. Mmmm Guineapigasaurus? I can only imagine the horror if there was an army of them.

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  39. At the risk of being denied entrance in the UK but I've tasted Cadbury and don't know what the big deal is, but then I'm a dark chocolate lover, 72% or higher, so that might account for it.

    As for soft serve ice cream, something best left behind in childhood.

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  40. YES Dinochicken! I eat dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets from Walmart, and always call them dinochicken. Haha!

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  41. Agree with the person from New Zealand - our Flakes are awesome! Mr Whippy with a Flake is my favorite one. Also Luxury Flake, dipped in chocolate, mmmmmmmmmmm......

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  42. I would be fine with the vanilla only - that's the only flavor of soft-serve that I ever get anyway. And I am not a fan of Flake either - I love other British Cadbury chocolates though. American Cadbury cannot compare :-)

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  43. Ah, still loving the little insights into STM psyche...as for the ice cream thing, I've had chocolate whippy and even a mixed strawberry and Choc whippy and I'm from Sussex. Life long fan of Cadbury chocolate too, the Double Decker is a crispy, fluffy, cocoa party in my mouth ;-)

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  44. I love the way he says 'bring it on.' Cracks me up.

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  45. All I can say is you obviously do not know the power of a flake! Flakes are delicious and VERY VERY powerful tools.
    If you dont believe me, ask Adam ;-)

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  46. "I am gonna grow my hair long, real long, and wear it like a hat MADE of hair."
    I actually SEE someone in my neighborhood who has done this! He has incredibly long dreadlocks that would probably be down below his butt, except he has them spiral-wrapped up into a big turban-like pile on top of his head! I just saw him yesterday...
    perhaps I am connected to ETM in the subconscious dream world... @_@

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  47. STM rather
    ETM stands for Eric The Midget... :/

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  48. Hmmm... Cadbury chocolate... not a fan of the U.S. version. I used to work for Peter Paul Cadbury many years ago in Connecticut. We got to eat factory seconds as much as we wanted to. We ALL indulged periodically. You could get sick of it very quickly. But it was fun. It was fun being a taste tester, too! But I agree with Marti... I prefer dark chocolate anyway. Love you, Adam and Karen... my day is not complete without reading your latest posting. Too funny!

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  49. Oh, it works, too! This guy has a fro-hat! I think it's pretty awesome.

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  50. mmm, I love a 99 with loads of syrup on it... And here (Ireland) you can get vanilla with different flavours mixed through it, like a ripple but with thicker "veins" of the flavour. Raspberry and lime that I know of, but there were more in the Cornetto Soft range!

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  51. Dinochicken.! YES! and Guineapigasaurus too! More proud and eager warriors against the vile Nazi-like vermin who deny the poor Iguanas their tea! Let them taste hard-beaked retribution for their high-handed ways!

    And let Guineapigasaurus run rampant through their shrubbery! Gnashing at their landscaping with rodentian savagery! Let their tender shoots and saplings be brutalized! So much better to see the proud words of defiance left by the hand of Graffiti Monkey! Let these horrors and more be loosed against the fascists, and let them know NO peace until THE IGUANAS GET THEIR TEA! And some nice biscuits, and perhaps a bit of cannabis.... Ah! Cannabis!

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  52. When I read this post this morning I was so taken with the idea of a guinepigasaurus (it combines my two favorite creatures... piggy gins and 'sauruses!) that I had to create one. Here's a link to my drawing on Flickr. Enjoy!

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/alyssssyla/4910960449/

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  53. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  54. If you put guineapigasaurwhatever he said that I can't spell on mugs and mouse pads I will buy it for me and my guinea pig loving friends b/c that is AWESOME!

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  55. I saw a tv show once where scientists were trying to genetically mutate chickens into dinosaurs. They made chicken embryos grow teeth, long tails, and scales. Dinochicken is real!

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  56. Dinochicken? I'd buy one in a cockatrice! 7@=Q

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  57. Actually, I rather liked Cadbury Flake when I was in England 20+ years ago. Maybe they were better then. But I never understood sticking it in soft serve.

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  58. Does anyone remember when McDonalds had whippped softswirled chocolate or vanilla or combo from their machines, they were delicious...then one day they were gone and missed!

    i see now, this was the google of it:

    "A soft serve ice cream product is available in several forms, including sundaes, cones (either vanilla, chocolate (Most McDonalds have discontinued to sell it, due to it being an "optional" item) or chocolate-dipped), and as the primary ingredient in the McFlurry. As with many other formulations of soft serve, cellulose gum is utilized as an extender and thickener"

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  59. Flake is okay... the worst cadbury is fruit and nut... why would someone want raisins in their chocolate? it's disgusting.

    As a Canadian, I've got to agree with the fact that American chocolate is the worst... and would add that Canadian chocolate is second worst.

    I typically have Cadbury's Whole Nut sent over from England... or buy swiss :)

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  60. Wow. When I grow up, I want to work somewhere where I get to make a Dinochicken and (euphoric gasp of realization) a Guineapigasaurus. "Googly thing" is the little wattle on a chickens head, right? I'm having a a troublesome time imagining this amazing creation.

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  61. soft ice-cream is sold in all flavors in the UK but only in shops in seaside towns as far as im aware, i live in a seaside town of Great Yarmouth. and also they do mixed flavors, mint and strawberry, vanilla and strawberry, chocolate ect and the list goes on... as for ice-cream vans they only do vanilla soft ices.

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  62. Yes there's a little ice cream shop called Delaspina's in the seaside town of Gorleston(just down the road from Great Yarmouth) and they do gorgeous mint/chocolate/strawberry/vanilla whippy ice creams. Best with a fudge stick and dipped in chocolate! Yum!

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  63. Two words. Beard Cage.
    http://www.trendhunter.com/trends/beard-cages

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  64. Have you tried Flake not in an ice cream? I think the ones they have in the ice cream van are stale or cheap imitation. Real/not old Cadbury Flakes are yummy. Like regular Cadbury but crumblier...

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  65. As a biology graduate I have to say that "Dinochicken" is a real scientific topic.
    http://dsc.discovery.com/news/2009/03/05/dinosaur-chicken.html

    However, Gunieapigasaurus is funny but not real, as unreal as STM becoming vegetarian himself.

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  66. Flakes rock! Technically, I'd take exception to the idea that Mr Whippy comes in "vanilla" flavour — it's really without any flavour at all, just soft and sweet. I doubt a vanilla pod has even been waved at the product.

    I've always been disappointed by chocolate flavour soft ice cream; it just tastes slightly bitter, not really chocolatey at all. Now, chocolate sauce, that's the way to go.

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  67. As an english citizen who lives by the sea, I was shocked to hear this about England too! seems like we live in such a diverse country.

    In my home town (Redcar) exists the birthplace of the Lemon Top, we also have icecreem shops dotted accross the sea front selling all sorts of flavours, none as good as the ol lemon top but much more varied.

    Note, this is still soft icecream as you say, but around heer we just call it icecream :P

    Also since it's a luxury to me which I live with, it is mostly wasted, since my favourite icecream is the hard variety, comes in so many flavours, great on a trip to whitby.

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  68. Come to Vermont people-- maple creemees will blow your mind. For real.

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  69. Now I understand why my English husband sticks a flake bar in all ice cream..and I agree flake does suck.

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  70. the one about the scales and feathers is hilarious. I imagine that is what the conversation is like when Lady Gaga is ordering up her costumes...LOL

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  73. Adam WTF? Guineapigasaurus. Bring it on!

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