Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20101029

Oct 29 2010

"No. I'm not real. No, you're talking. I'm a dick. Well, fuck you! Hmm. A bit confusing."

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Confusing, indeed. What the hell is he talking about? In this next one, however, STM makes himself perfectly clear:
"Where— Where's my coconut? I know you moved it. Give it back to me. I want my coconut! I can't pee without my coconut. I'm going to peeeeee. (whimpers) Oh, I'll have to get a new coconut. Mmm, that one was just the right size… and furry. Coconuuuuuut… Coconuuuut….. Where aaaaaarre yooouuu? Mmmm. Bollocks."
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And the reveal:


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KAREN: You said, "Where's my coconut? I can't pee without my coconut! It was just the right size. Coconuuut... coconuuut." You just went— you went on and on. "I guess I'll have to get a new one."
ADAM: Well, they may all look the same, I'm sure coconuts feel they're individual.
KAREN: If coconuts feel enough to know they're individual, then how do you think they feel about being used as a receptacle for urine?
ADAM: Whoa. Whoa. Whoa, whoa, you never said I said that. You said I can't pee without my coconut. I may need it as a security blanket. And have it next to me when I pee. You're thinking I need to crack it open and pee into it. How dare you treat coconuts like that! Can't you see them as care-giving things rather than just receptacles for my bodily waste? Hmm?
KAREN: "Coconuuuut!"
ADAM: It's got to sit next to me when I pee. And its three eyes can be looking up at me saying, "Good boy."
__________

Karen's notes: We wonder if this has something to do with the fact that Adam just read Coconut Unlimited by Nikesh Shukla, an amazing book. Go check it out!

25 comments:

  1. It sounds like he's trying to talk to an echo of himself in the first one.

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  2. STM has security issues? Can't imagine him having anything but a superiority complex!

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  3. First one would be an awesome t-shirt for when you just want to confuse the hell out of people!

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  4. This is exactly what I needed. Thanks for making the world a brighter place. <3

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  5. The first one... He's trying to convince someone he's an auditory hallucination?

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  6. absolutly brilliant. best thing on the net.

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  7. Please tell me STM peed the bed that would have been really funny not so funny for Adam, keep up the good work.
    Got my very own STM t-shirt the other day and i wear it with pride also i can see alot of my family and gettin STM t-shirts for xmas xxx

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  8. I think STM was telling Adam STM's not real and it's Adam saying those things. STM think's himself (STM) being a jerk. And it's confusing because we think STM is talking when it's Adam, but they would probably look the same.


    Kay

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  9. "I can't pee without my coconut"

    Lol!

    I'm going to repeat this line to a random family member or friend and see what they say...

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  10. could the first one have been a rare moment where Adam and STM where talking in his head, but we only heard STM's side of the conversation?!?!?
    "coconuuuuuut" lmao
    "I can't pee without my coconuuuuut" should be on a t-shirt!

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  11. LOL... Love the Google ads for coconut oil and a very pretty waste basket. Too funny! Love you guys. You make my day!

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  12. Well! I won't be able to look at coconuts the same way again! I won't be able to pee without thinking of coconuts again! If anybody asks me why, and I answer them truthfully, I'll be locked up in the booby hutch!

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  13. When listening I also thought of the coconut as more of a companion/security blanket type thing than a receptacle. The thought of him needing the coconut to pee into didn't cross my mind until the reveal and it just didn't seem right.

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  14. One theory...when I need to wee but am deeply asleep, I am aware in the dream that I need to go but something always causes a problem, such as, there is no door on the only toilet, or people keep getting in my way towards the bathroom...and it continues until I actually manage to wake up to go to the bathroom, so I wonder, is what I experience some bizarre "safety feature" my body has to stop me from wetting the bed, and adam has a similar...yet slightly stranger....thing...or am I just mad?

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  15. Someone sent me this because my horse's name is Coconut and we actually call her in from the pasture... "Coooconuuuut.....where aaaarrrre youuuu???"

    She's a mighty Pee-er btw!!

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  16. Anonymous @ 23:14...if you are mad...you are not alone. I have had the same type dreams all my life (needing to pee but prevented by obstacles and issues). I am so jealous of STM for his fun eclectic dreams, while I only dream about sub-standard bathrooms!

    Adam & Karen...LOVE your site!! You guys are great!

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  17. I nearly died when I listened to the conversation at the end.

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  18. LOL! I'd be afraid he'd just start peeing in the bed if he finally did "find" his coconut...

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  19. BRILLIANT!
    thanks a lot for such a great portion of pure delight.
    With love from Moscow :)

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  20. I'm having sleep sheep flashbacks. :)

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  21. The coconut.. LMFAO.. :') brilliant x

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  22. I know it is very late indeed for me to be posting comments but I'm new to the site actually, and much catching up must be done. Just want to let you know that, in my head, reading the script of the "reveal" bit, the two of you were speaking in the voices of characters from Monty Python's Holy Grail, as in a scene discussing coconuts and migratory swallows. I will not listen, if there is audio of this, because I like my version better in this case. That is all. XD

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  23. I can't pee without my coconuuuuut should be on a t-shirt.

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