"Why the hell have you got a big-arse turtle? Well what'choo gonna do with it? You need to get a big satchel and carry it 'round and feed it crackers. Yeah. Then it'll purr and be happy."
or click here"Yeah. It's a long journey to find your soulmate. So here's a one-way ticket to somewhere far away, now FUCK OFF!"
or click here__________
Karen's notes: Just before we went to sleep last night, we watched an extreme fishing show* in which they accidentally caught a HUGE snapping turtle. It was a 200-pounder, so I'm not sure about the feasibility of carrying it around in a satchel. Don't worry, the turtle escaped unscathed.
* We watch these TV shows when Adam's son is here, because he is obsessed with fishing. I was amazed to discover that there are, like, at least FIVE such programs.
As for the last one, Adam woke himself up with his final directive. We really hope the kids didn't hear.