Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20110308

Mar 8 2011

"Tea for two. You can fuck off, 'cause you're three, and three's not invited. You rectal intrusion."

 or click here

With that pouty little tone, he sounds like an obnoxious little girl hosting a tea-party for her teddy bears.

And here is our wake-up, in which Adam is uncharacteristically suspicious of me!


 or click here
Transcript below.

Adam also tells me that he had a dream that he was Charlie Sheen's assistant, but that he could only do it as STM, because that's the only way that Charlie could understand him.
STM: What are you doing to my hand? FUCK OFF!
ADAM: What are you doing to my hand?
KAREN: Nothing.
ADAM: (suspiciously) What were you doing to my hand?
KAREN: I was lying here.
ADAM: (accusingly) You were trapping my hand to get me to speak?
KAREN: Adam!
ADAM: What were you doing to my hand?!
KAREN: You had put your hand under my head so—
ADAM: (disbelievingly) Oh, is that what happens? I actually managed to get my hand under your head?
KAREN: Adam, I was lying here.
ADAM: Yes, doing what?
KAREN: Lying here.
ADAM: Doing what, exactly?
KAREN: ... Lying here.
ADAM: Seriously, what were you doing to my hand? It was stuck.
KAREN: I don't know, baby. I don't really know how it got up there. You rolled over just a minute ago.
ADAM: But it was under something. I couldn't move it.
KAREN: I don't know.
ADAM: You sure you weren't holding it?
KAREN: Look at me! This is one arm. See this? (waves arm up and down under the cover)
ADAM: Oh, it's floppy!
KAREN: Well, it's all the way—
ADAM: Oh floppy!
KAREN: It's all the way under the covers—
ADAM: It's like a penguin.
KAREN: You can see that it's pinned down. You can see this other one's just sitting here.
ADAM: Ok. You're not evil then.

34 comments:

  1. I wish my boyfriend would decide I wasn't evil that easily. He punched himself in the face the other night and is STILL convinced I did it...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Do you ever sleep, Karen? it seems like you are always awake before him and you talk about doing things on your computer in the wee hours of the morning. Sleep, woman, sleep!

    ReplyDelete
  3. OMG the Charlie Sheen thing......... Awesome. WINNING :-)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Dying laughing at the reveal.

    And the Charlie Sheen bit - FTW. Hilarious.

    ReplyDelete
  5. You rectal intrusion!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm fairly certainly only STM could be Sheen's assistant. In fact, the world would be a better place if STM would keep Sheen in check.

    I also wish the people who decide I'm evil (based on nothing but a vague feeling) would change their minds so easily. Adam, you're an example to the world!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I love the reasoning here:
    KAREN: Look at me! This is one arm. See this?
    ADAM: Oh, it's floppy!
    KAREN: Well, it's all the way—
    ADAM: Oh floppy!
    KAREN: It's all the way under the covers—
    ADAM: It's like a penguin.
    KAREN: You can see that it's pinned down. You can see this other one's just sitting here.
    ADAM: Ok. You're not evil then.

    And that's how you decide if someone's evil: floppy arms like a penguin. If they are pinned down, you are not evil. :P

    ReplyDelete
  8. @Lora: So you're saying that evil is relative? Take the Penguin of Batman fame for example. He is undeniably evil, but if you pinned his arms down with a blanket or otherwise, he would no longer be evil?

    Makes sense to me!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Happy Hour Julie9 March 2011 at 16:11

    tee hee ... 'I couldn't mooooove it!'

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hilarious - Always gives me a giggle!

    Maybe he applied to be Charlie Sheen's intern?!

    #Winning

    http://wanderlustshelby.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  11. Ahhhhh I laughed out loud when I read about the dream thing! HILARIOUS!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I absolutely love: Oh flopsy! XD

    ReplyDelete
  13. Two's company, three's a corporation.

    ReplyDelete
  14. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  15. "Hey there!!!
    Hope so all of you are well. Today I m going to introduce you Pakistan famous escorts agency which is VIP GIRL IN PAKISTAN. We have all type of escorts models and prostitutes in Lahore, Karachi and Islamabad. It’s only for needy and hungry escorts lovers. So if you are in Pakistan and want escorts services everywhere in Pakistan you can connect us through our websites."

    Islamabad Call Girl,
    Lahore Call Girl,
    Karachi Call Girl,

    Visit Our Blog:-
    https://vipescortlahore.tumblr.com/
    https://vipescortkarachi.tumblr.com/
    https://vipescortislamabad.tumblr.com/"

    ReplyDelete
  16. You have done it really well. This is just amazing
    Escorts In Lahore

    Visit Our Website:-
    http://escortsserviceinlahore.com/

    ReplyDelete
  17. Very good article with very useful information.
    Escorts In Islamabad

    Visit Our Website:-
    https://islamabadescorts.website

    ReplyDelete
  18. Happy to say your post is very interesting to read.
    Escorts In Islamabad

    Visit Our Website:-
    http://escortsislamabad.com/

    ReplyDelete
  19. Good post...

    We provide hot models, VIP models, high profile call girls, college girls, teens, housewives, airhostess as escort service in Chandigarh and call girl service in Chandigarh.
    Follow us:_
    Chandigarh escorts
    Chandigarh escorts service

    Call girls in Chandigarh
    VIP Chandigarh escorts

    Escorts service in Chandigarh
    Chandigarh escorts service
    Chandigarh Escorts

    ReplyDelete
  20. They are fundamentally the authentic assets of our Service association since it is an immediate consequence of their unending sex demand and flawless superbness, various men and top of the line clients will in general advantage our overly quality escort Services sometimes.
    Follow us:-
    Bangalore Escorts
    Escorts in Bangalore
    Bangalore Escorts Agency
    Bangalore Call Girls
    Sexy Escorts in Bangalore
    Independent Escorts in Bangalore

    ReplyDelete
  21. Ultimate Destination for finding High Profile Independent Escorts in Surat Like You Feel 100 % Real Girl Friend Experience.
    Surat Escorts | Surat Escorts |
    Delhi Escorts

    ReplyDelete
  22. Delhi Escorts offers Safety and hygiene service At 24/7
    When you look for Delhi Escorts girls, you will find many call girls. But these call girls Delhi are not as reliable as the escorts provided by us. They will go to any extent to make their clients happy.Book Me to fulfill your Desire at Pocket Friendly prices.
    Delhi Escorts
    Delhi Escort Services

    ReplyDelete
  23. Welcome to VIP Murree Escorts Agency, we are providing Pakistan's most beautiful girls. If you want to spend a night with the VIP Girls of Murree Pakistan then you come to the right place. VIP Murree Escorts
    Sexy Escorts Murree
    Best Escorts Murree
    VIP Escorts Murree

    ReplyDelete
  24. It is a low-tech, low-banked option that can help people with fewer techs alert. Bitcoin ATM support phone number This ATM offers greater privacy, which is a major reason why it should be used. Bitcoin buying. The Support phone number for Bitcoin ATM It is the best option for all your buying needs.

    ReplyDelete
  25. BTC Customer Service Contact & Live Chat

    If You Searching BTC Customer Service Content do visit our website.BTC Customer Service Contact

    ReplyDelete
  26. Hello Everyone
    manufacture and Export of Sand Blasting Machine in UAE , Sand blasting Machine in Saudi Arab
    https://shotsblastingmachine.com/

    These are machine that treats the surface of metal , woods etc and is been used to either remove the dust rust etc form the Machine of its Parts , Or introduce a new protective coating on the Subject
    shot peening machine

    ReplyDelete
  27. Are you looking for shot Blasting machine for your industry,
    We are the leading manfacturer and provider of Sot Blasting Machine
    , Sand Blasting Machine, Abrasive materials equipments related to Airo shot blasting industry like SPray gun , Thermal SPray gun etc

    Visit our website for more information

    Thanks

    ReplyDelete
  28. There are many benefits of a sand blasting machine . It is a highly effective way to restore damaged surfaces and is incredibly eco-friendly. The blast media can be recycled and reclaimed and the process is highly automated. It is also much faster than other methods, allowing for larger areas to be blasted rapidly. Here are some of the reasons that a sandblasting machine is
    ideal for your needs.

    ReplyDelete
  29. PNJ Sharptech is one of the Best SMO Services providers in Noida. SMO (Social Media Optimization) Services have become very important as social accounts act as a mirror for your brand, hire the best SMO Company in India & skyrocket brand image.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Granite's natural beauty is unparalleled. Its unique and intricate patterns, coupled with its wide range of colors, make it a timeless choice for interior and exterior applications. South Black Granite And Granite Stone

    ReplyDelete