Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)


Oct 19 2011

"Oh, you've done it now. You've pushed me too far. I'm gonna bring out the attack gerbil and sit back and watch him tear you a new fuckin' asshole. Come on, gerbil, attack! Stop sitting there cleaning yourself looking cute, you fucker, and KILL! KILL!! Damn it. Stupid twitchy nose little thing. Arrrgh. I have to give up this killer-training-for-gerbil thing. Maybe I can train hamsters in the art of the ninja. They'll look cool in black."

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  1. He's got that whole... stalker on the phone thing going on, kind of creepy.

  2. All I can think of is those animatronic hamsters dressed up as ninjas flinging the nunchucks to "Everybody was Kung-Fu Fighting" - I think my parents still have one.

  3. Here's what I mean....

  4. STM's got a bit of a thing for animals lately...And ninjas. But that's pretty much a given. XD

  5. Given this commercial, I think the hamster thing is pretty logical:

  6. Is this the longest thing STM has ever said?

  7. It's a rodent arms race! Who will be the first to deploy the Capybara Option? 7@=Q

  8. I'm in vet school right now and decided to pop in to the blog to help with that situation and this just made my day!

  9. for some reason, im thinking, isnt the attack gerbils a running gag here now? and if so how many times has he gone through this, thus the exhausted stm is self referential...just wondering...

  10. I think this is better in sound than in letters

  11. I dunno, man...

    These long, drawn-out thoughts appear a bit to coherent to be real sleep-talking, to me.

    Of course, I'm no expert, but everyone I know who has talked in their sleep did little more than mumble, and occasionally recite something half-intelligible.

    This guy is almost reading from a script.


  12. Joshua, I once stayed a week at my friend's house, and she wrote down everything I said in my sleep. One night, I told part of a story about Hitler dying. Another night, I completely cursed out the mailman. It's not impossible.

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