Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)


Jan 19 2010

So sorry guys. Nothing last night.

By the way, if you've sent us an email telling us how you feel about the blog and I didn't answer, it's just because we are so overwhelmed. Please know that we read every email together, and they make us really happy.


  1. We can't expect him to come up with gems everynight! Can't tell you how much I've laughed reading your blog!

  2. Booooooooooooooooo
    ive been logging in for around a week after a mate sent me a link. some great quotes on here - the more random they are the better such as
    i want to be a cowbow.....
    and my boat my rules ...

    maybe im just sad but reading through the whole blog the 1st time with the wife i couldnt breathe
    cheers for putting these all up

  3. Mix some Sleeping pills into his food! :P

  4. i concur with partner came into the room to find out why I was laughing so much! You are making so many people giggle and it sets them up for the day :) thank you! x

  5. My teenage son and I read through your quotes last night. We havent had such a laugh in ages. So thanks for giving me the opportunity to spend some quality time with a rebelious teenager! Our favourite is the raw skin, bath of vinegar one. My son loves the quote about baskin in the glory of being to get him a teashirt with that on now !!! brill. thanks xx

  6. My friends told me about this blog and they were right. Its so funny!

    I love the randomness and the rudeness hahaha.

    Probably my favs:

    -"Your mum's at the door again. Bury me. Bury me deep."
    -"Legs time! Everybody get your legs!"
    -"Vegetarians will be the first to go. That's my plan. Vegans haven't got a hope. 'I eat air, I'm so healthy...' Bollocks!"

    Please continue doing this, its great!

    Greetings from the Netherlands

  7. Do you or Adam have any favorites of your own, Karen?

  8. Ur wonderful blog is totally is the best medicine.

    Big love from Malaysia!!!

  9. Fabby work guys!

    Don't pressure yourselves to deliver every night as it might ruin it completely for you - even a quote a week would be ample...

    Dont care about the nay-sayers because you are bringing huge comedy to everyone regardless. I wish i could come up with some of these quips when i was asleep or awake ! especially to my boss ! hmmmm might get fired ;oP

    As a chilli grower, I did have to pick myself up off the floor after that one !

    Thanks guys.


  10. lol my husband sleep talks too, not every night and sometimes i cant even understand what he says but some of his lines have been
    "i like big men", "off! off with his head" and "its funny we look alike. cause we're brothers. but not really" (turns out he was dreaming of mario and luigi from nintendo).
    even more funny/worrying, he does things like fondling and kissing me and wont remember a thing when he wakes up :/

  11. When I read this comic I instantly thought of your blog :D

  12. Every time I visit this site, I get 'Steel Drivin' Man' by The Arrogant Worms in my head, but with different lyrics.

    Adam Lennard is a sleep talkin' man
    Who never really gave a damn
    He's dead to the world, and he's real deadpan
    Adam Lennard is a sleep talkin' man

  13. Once, my dad fell asleep on the sofa and out of nowhere he shouted "F**k off you mongrel s**t c**t". I was a tad surprised to say the least!

    Karen, What's the most abusive thing you've heard Adam say in his sleep?

  14. Angela, I would love you to record your version of 'Steel Drivin' Man' and post it, I may even put it on the blog!!

    Thanks for your support.
    Stay in touch.


  15. A friend just referred me to your blog, and I have tears of laughter running down my cheeks as I type.

    I, too, have a sleep-talkin' man... and he SINGS in his sleep too! Last night's gem, after reminiscing about Sesame Street in the evening:

    "Annie is my duck. Annie is my duck. Not Ernie. Annie is my duck. Rubber Annie. Annie is my duck."

    I asked him what he was singing about (he'll respond to me while still asleep) and he denied everything, saying "I don't sing."

    I said, "Well, you were talking about ducks. Who's your duck?"

    "I don't have a duck. Ducks... like quackers."

    Even he agrees that I deserve some kind of medal for not punching him for that pun.

  16. Hi guys,

    To answer some questions.... I could not POSSIBLY pick a favorite. It would be like trying to figure out my favorite song or movie, there are just too many that knock my socks off! I will say that, lately, I especially enjoyed a particular quote, which he boldly announced into the silent room:

    "Butt cheeks, ahoy!"

    I think the rudest ones are these:

    "I'd like to tell you what a wonderful person you are. But that would make me a septic gash of a cunt who quite frankly had no concept of right or wrong."


    "Being in the same room with you makes me want to suck the pus out of a rancid nasty rectum."

    I swear, when he said these, I just caught my breath in shock!

  17. My girlfriend Marie has caught me talking in my sleep a few times. This usually happens when the bedroom light is left on, and we're talking, and I fall asleep halfway through the conversation.

    "It's okay, the cat doesn't mind."

    "The hotplate! It's right here!" *patting top of thighs*

    "The Mcmuffin! It's tense!"

    Keep this up, guys, you have tears running down my cheeks every time I read this blog. :)

  18. I confess, when i saw there were no gems from sleep talking man today, to a moment or two of disappointment. Where was I to get my next facebook status from?!!
    Then I thought how welcome it must have been for you to have a night of undisturbed sleep....
    Keep 'em coming, they make my day :)

  19. Hey Kanren and Adam,

    Thanks so much for your records! We can't expect Adam come up with things everynight, of course. And I can't even stop laughing at the pieces that I have already read a few times anyway.

    BTW, have you counted people in how many countrires are reading this blog and have left a message? Should be quite a lot :D

  20. HAHAHA~
    this blog is so interesting!!!
    AND your husband's sleep talking is so funny!
    i wish you can shoot a video of it!!!

  21. you guys should deffo get one of those mashup maps of the world to see where your webhits are coming from!

  22. BEST blog I have EVER stumbled across, loved the stuff up on youtube as well. Keep it comin'

  23. Remember Adam says he sleep talks more when he's feeling more relaxed? Hopefully the pressure of having to 'perform' will not get to him as I suspect the more attention you guys get the less he'll actually sleep talk.

    Keep grounded and relaxed and every so often make sure you take some time off from any media attention AND from this blog! (We'll survive, promise).

    Best of luck - and thanks for bringing a lot of humour into my morning.

  24. What an excellent idea for a blog! I, too, and a sleep talker (and walker!). My husband tells me some bizarre statements I have made in my sleep, plus he's found me doing various chores around the house - while asleep.

  25. I'm wearing my kittens t-shirt today - I'm so happy! Too many whiskers!

    Oh, you could thing about adding the pirate quotes to shirts for talk like a pirate day - in September.

  26. You know, even when Adam is silent some of the other gems from other sleep-talkers in the comments are fantastic!

  27. Would the anonymous Chinese writer please cease to talk about Buddha, colors, seasons, and paintings, and talk about something that is relevant to this blog?

  28. It's okay, Karen. Maybe he's a little too stressed from being on TV yesterday?

  29. I have to tell you, I laughed so hard reading these I nearly peed my pants! I had tears coming out of my eyes and one of our cats was biting me because I couldn't stop laughing. That's her normal cure-all for things she doesn't understand.

    Thank you very much for posting these!

    Question--I can't see which quote is on the t-shirt--can you tell us?

  30. I came across your site via It is absolutely hilarious - I have bookmarked it so I can check it now & then when I need to be cheered up. I only wish my dreams were as interesting as your hubby's seem to be. :)

  31. You got a new follower- hilarious!

  32. My husband is a sleep-talker/shouter. He also sings in his sleep and quite often in Welsh. I adore this blog and can't wait for the next postings!!

  33. An excellent blog, Rickey enjoys it! Strong work cupcake!

  34. Greetings from Detroit Michigan (USA).
    Love your blog!
    I laughed so hard I almost tinkled!

    Take care & keep'em coming!

  35. well, darn!
    he better have a whole conversation with himself tomorrow.

  36. what does he do during the day to dream up such hilarious things?!?! im adicted to ur blog!!! hope he pulls out some good ones tonight :D

  37. Oh dear; I ache, I can't breath. He is hilarious. Thank you for giving me such a giggle. I have to put up with my my partner snoring, this is way better lol.

    J Gibson

  38. O no, they're getting to famous to respond our emails!


    I have friends who talk like this when they are awake... but this is MUCH funnier!

    Thanks for posting these amazingly funny gems up on here!

  40. Just got my shirts and they look awesome looking forward to many more gems from Adam in the future.

  41. Yeah I used the "I haven't gained weight, your eyes are fat." on my dad tonight when he tried to say that I didn't get where I am having a small stomach. :P

  42. My girlfriend and fellow blogger told me about your site and I couldn't resist I had to post something on you and Adam, which by now I'm sure you are used to.

    I could not stop laughing at everything Adam says. I myself have been known for sleep talking and mostly shop in my sleep. Something my husband talks about on our podcast show we do. If he ever recorded me snoring or talking I'd kill him! LOL

    You two are amazing and brighten up other people's days so keep up the good work.

  43. That is sooooo weird
    I mean... Does it feel weird to be the object of what looks like a freak show ? Anyways I LOVE IT
    And this is WAAAAYY better than some two-headed-bearded midget woman. Haha!

    It's been a while since I laughed like this!
    Hope tomorrow is gonna be a goldmine of a night!

  44. Hello Everyone. I am so so sorry I have not managed to respond sooner to your amazing comments but things have just been a little crazy here. Yes crazier than normal.

    We have had radio stations from New York State to Sidney Australia interviewing us which we loved. Although 6 in a day was a little much. I hope our friends and family got to hear us. Did you get to hear us?

    It is a strange bubble we are living in right now. We have all this media attention, but what I would like find out is everyone else's reaction to to hearing and seeing us. That would make this a little bit more real for me.

    We are so pleased the shirts are going down well with people. We are uploading new designs today so if your favourite quote has not been there yet, check it out, it may be there now!

    We love to hear stories of people actually using my lines in everyday life. It seems even some of the more bizarre ones actually work.

    Thank you once again for all your kind words of support.

    Keep in touch.


  45. Hi, really funny stuff. My friend and I stumbled across it by accident this afternoon at work as we had to stay back late.( We are in Brisbane Australia) I laughed so hard I was crying.

    Just wondering if in the future there will be the option to pick the quote you want for the shirts? There are some I know my B/F would love but arent one of the choices.

  46. We saw you on This Morning. Fantastic. Reading these everyday sure does cheer you up. :)

  47. i love the blog , its hilarios!! he is a bit crazy and we loved! me and my fiancee are a big fans we always asking about what the hell is he dreaming for saying that! jajajaja

    best regards from Peru!

  48. i like how people think these are fake, well if they are so fake then there should be a post every not, 1 point sleeptalker, 0 points skeptics