Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)


Feb 6 2010

"Oh, the penguins deserve better. Spread the love... Beaky twats."

 or click here


  1. God, i love this blog! Found this the other day and read the whole lot in one go! I've have been a bit stressed recently and this was just the tonic i needed. Love it, love it, love it!

  2. ...yes spread the love...
    thanks Karen and Adam,
    have a loving weekend,
    -and as we are very close to Valentine day
    it reminds me of a wonderful ("anti Valentine commercialism")gathering happening in London next week
    its - "Reclaim Love"
    Sat 13/02/2010
    at 2pm in Piccadilly circus
    by the statue of Eros
    check for details on

    sadly i can't be there but i hope you and your friends will make it,you will love it
    check the web site and the videos

    love love love

  3. Beaky twats xD

    Every time I read this blog, I'm in stitches - really! I've not laughed so hard for an absolute eternity.

    Thank you so very kindly for giving me the opportunity to read these outbursts.

  4. LOL "beaky twats."
    oh how I enjoy reading this blog. It has officially made it onto the list of things I check everyday :)
    Love you guys!!!

  5. ...sorry the web site for reclaim love is
    although the page has the gathering details as well

  6. Classic... so damn funny.

  7. I have never ever laughed out loud or cried with laughter at anything so much online since I found this blog this week. It's helped make a pretty unbearable week a lot, lot easier. And "beaky twats" is making it onto my personal top 5 list. A truly awesome site. Thanks so much and keep them coming!

  8. Indeed, poor penguins.

    You might want to see this, also an unexpected internet hit:

  9. Musta been watching "March of the Penguins". Yeah I pity them too.

  10. I find your blog very funny, feel sorry in a way for your husband thou, Because I can relate. I'm just glad my wife can sleep thru all my nightly mumbling, or I would be on the internet too.

  11. Sounds like BS to me!
    How much do you make up?

  12. What an incredibly rude and ignorant thing to say. If you call BS, do it silently. For most of us it doesn't even matter, it's the highlight of our day and brings tears of laughter in darker times.

    If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all, and if you don't like it, don't read the blog!!!! Beaky twat has never been so pertinent!

  13. There's no reason why positive views should be given any more credence than negative ones. It's a 'comments' section, not a fawning admiration one.

    I like the site by the way, visit it most days, just don't see why anyone has to be possessive/defensive about it. People have different tastes. Let's move on.

  14. This comment has been removed by the author.

  15. Been following your blog for a few weeks now, and I love it. It always makes me laugh, specially after a long night from work.

    First time leaving a comment, but decided to for those non-believer. I'm somewhat of a sleep talker myself and being a tri-lingual, I'm known to say something random in Japanese once in a while; also make a conversation without remembering them.

    Adam and Karen, I'm glad you've started this blog and keep everyone laughing.

    Karl from Fargo, ND

  16. I think its awful that people come here and post negative stuff. If you dont find the blog believable why do you come? Just to post negative comments? I on the other hand love you Adam and Karen! I am also happy that we have the time difference by the time I wake up the blog is updated! ( MA, USA). Sorry that out of 6.5 billion people some of us have to be assholes and they happen to find your blog..keep up the good laughs!

  17. Wonder if these are the vampire penguins??

    And eeks - wonder what spreading the love with them would involve...

  18. I love this blog! I've been following for a couple weeks and laugh aloud every single time!! This is so funny!! I love the chicken soup mumblings!! Make it a t-shirt!! Thank you for bringing a great laugh-break into my days!!

  19. I love it too. I check it every day now. The things he says couldn't be written with the conscious mind.

  20. it's justa lika lookin' - the point is justa missin'
    the site is'a glEE-in' - not for the bittin'

    a decreasin' is nuttin' like a full-timezonin'
    today's still a youngin'...on a -1- thought'n sleep-talkin'

    people are a busy'in; , here and therein'
    upin'n'a'downin', and miles aroun'n
    qualiti'n vs quanatati'n...
    it's a now'in' and again'in...

    fawning that personal viewin' - - -
    of th' opinionatin'
    the dambed if i do'n, or even the don't'n
    possessivin'-defensivin' comes from one'n the samein'
    ...ala beaky-ana-twatin'n, than of innerself'n it goes a splattin'n, a squeakin' and a squattin'n
    ...sqwakin' all day long'in all this penguin-waddlin'

    the thickin 'n a thinnin'n
    a rippin'and a rappin' ( NOT=! ) to a summon it all a-upin..

    !!! this penguin-twalking is for the birds !!!

    -> Sleepin' Adam's on the Mark...!
    -> doo-ooo - - - > Spread The Love...<3
    beaky twats away...byebye birdie =<>
    -> sway ... skip away...Skip Away %=~O
    from the/this ... :)

  21. I love that Adam (or sleeping Adam) has an interest in penguins. Vampire or not!

  22. Who cares if it is fake or not. WE LOVE IT. Keep it coming. You make me laugh everyday, and now my family and I have started using Adam's sleep talks as lines to one another. He is so funny!!! I am so glad that you blogged this and please never stop.

  23. We laugh, then we cry from laughing, we can't wait to read each days installment.

    Thank you for allowing your husbands words so others may laugh also.

  24. Beaky Twats definitely needs to be on a Tshirt!

  25. This is the best Valentine EVER!!!
    Thank you Adam, and thank you Karen for posting.

  26. sending illustration soon....

  27. I check in everyday! I wonder if what Adam says is British sayings and we Americans just think it's funny, but Adam knows what he means.

  28. I can tell you that Adam often does not know what he meant.

  29. I heard about this blog through Yahoo Canada. I check it every day and enjoy the audio clips.

    If people don't believe the things that Adam says, he could go to a sleep centre for the night and have the sleep centre staff confirm that what he says in his sleep is real.

  30. Beaky twats ~ badgertastic, Adam!
    Still waiting for "human race" on a t-shirt.

  31. One of the things that I find most hilarious is the fact that he seems to hate almost every entity he comes in contact with in his dreams. Even innocent (or maybe these were vampires too?) penguins are "beaky twats." XD

    As for the negative comments, I don't think that people that don't believe don't have the right to post, they should. Anonymous @ 13:42 is somewhat right - I just believe applying the actual negativity is wrong. You can at least imply you don't believe it without being insulting.

  32. @dizzysmile: He must have loved the zombie...she gave him her heart, and her hand in marriage.... He also loved the soft, so soft. I have the feeling penguins aren't up there on his favorites list tho...

    I don't care if it's made up or real...I believe it's real, I sleep-walk-talk about 3-4 times a year. Have been doing it since I was a kid. I wake myself up wondering why I'm looking for random objects in unusual places. I once scared the crap out of my sister because I was rummaging through her dresser muttering to myself. I woke up when she screamed. She talks in her sleep, too.

  33. Aaw love this blog, it makes us both laugh out loud every time we here it, and has created a fair few new "wardisms" that we quote - but whats the fascination with penguins - apart from them being beaky twats!

  34. This blog makes me laugh everyday! Thank you so much for sharing

  35. I'm digging out of two feet of snow (live in PA, USA) - am enjoying reading today on shoveling breaks. The comments (most of them) are so much fun, too.

    Yeah, that's true, Anon 18:17! He must have loved the zombie, and did the moose. And he was looking out for the duck's best interests, too.

    Dizzysmile - you got it - those who don't think it's real aren't able or willing to just say "I don't think this is for real." They go out of their way, many of them, to be insulting and hurtful. I'm actually finding that pretty interesting (but glad to miss the really abusive ones.)

    It's penguin weather here today! I'll think of them when I'm back out in it. Big thanks for the audio, Karen - it is a HUGE treat every time. :)

  36. I just read through the entire blog.. it's brilliant, alas a bit unnerving at times ("You know, you're not some precious flower. And if you were I'd be a weed and grow next to you and choke you to fucking death!... Love you!"). Keep it up.

    On a bit more serious note, have you considered if this could be some kind of personality-split? I know that I have, myself, said similar things (though only on three or four occasions) xD it's amazing.

    Salutations from Sweden.

  37. I agree! Penguins deserve better treatment!

  38. What is beaky twats? Great! Now I wo't be able to sleep. :P

  39. @ Cathy Shepherd, sadly we british do not go around saying "beaky twats" to each other... although i think we should - it could be a term of endearment! Also, i think badger tickling should be a national sport...

    p.s. love the blog!

  40. OH my Oh my - just got my t-shirts - and what is going to be a hoot is when the first person comes up to me with total understanding as to the meaning!!!! Love 'em!!! Thanks Adam and Karen!!!

  41. *sigh* You know you've reached that level of popularity, when the spammers try to horn in....... beaky twats..... 7X=Q

  42. My entire family speaks/does something weird in their sleep. My mother screams LOUDLY and cusses up a storm. It's quite terrifying, lol, especially to be woken up from across the house when she's having one of her nightmares. My brother moans, laughs hysterically, and talks a little bit. My father apparently makes small "noises," although I've never heard them myself, and I make an "otherwordly sound" that terrifies my boyfriend; it startles him awake and makes him anxious. lol My boyfriend doesn't tend to make any noise but he grins a lot and laughs silently. So I have no problem believing that Adam can talk this much.

  43. I'm here everyday since I discovered the gives me a great chuckle...and I LOVE that you've added the audio for select ones - keep 'em coming...Spread the love!

  44. hi Karen&Adam
    thanks for the funny blog
    just wanted to say that the audio disappeared...

  45. hello again...don't know what happened...but now the audio is back...
    sorry for any confusion...

  46. He's got a thing for penguins....LMAO!

  47. Really? Audio went poof for me. *shrugs*

  48. This blog has brought pure joy to me personally. I don't believe it's fake because, frankly, it's simply too absurd to not be real.

  49. I just wanted to say thank you. As a mother of a sleep talker, I always did find it amusing. But her mutterings were never quite as hilarious, and generally just ended up with her sleep walking about looking for a good place to pee. I've had the blues lately and this blog has never failed to make me burst out laughing at least once each visit!

  50. Hi everyone, I love this blog since the very beginning, and I would like to understand what "beaky twats" really mean, I usually get it al but I'm French and I never heard such a catchphrase!

  51. dear anonymous 15:02,

    Beaky twats, well the only thing i can think of is that he (sleep talkin man) is calling the penguins beaky, why, well because they have beaks!. twats being a general term of abuse. therefore beaky twats.

    i think!


  52. Yeah...Adam is right. Beaky for beaks, I guess, and twat is a british derogatory term for vagina, which people use as a geneal term of abuse, like when you call someone a dick, if you do that in France...idk. I'm from the US. I just remember watching a British movie where they said twat and my mom had a fun time explaining to me what that meant!

  53. Adam, your issues with animals of all varieties is hysterical! Maybe in your last life you were a paranoid zookeeper, clearly unhappy in his work.

    Love the post, Guys! Keep 'em coming.

    Devon (from Chicago)

  54. Hmm... maybe he's like Alice the zookeeper on Penguins of Madagascar. She never seems happy and she's always suspicious of the penguins in her zoo. I don't know if you brits ever see that show. I'm in the (currently very snowy) eastern PA.

  55. Love the blog, btw. :)

  56. Is it just me or does it sound like he said 'spread them out' and not spread the love? I think he was eating penguins last night...