Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)


Mar 14 2010

Apparently, on his birthday, Adam takes the night off from sleep-talking. Pity.

But that's ok, cause I have SO many great ones stored up from the honeymoon:

"Don't worry. I'll find it. That's what I do, find things. I find you annoying. See?"

"Next time I lend out my chest hair, it won't be to a dick-face like you. You've got it covered in lots of stuff. It'll take ages to clean up. One hair at a time."

and here, Sleep Talkin' Man abandons his usual cool demeanor, and displays his deep passion for low-quality children's snacks:

"Choc Dip. Gimme Choc Dip. Yes, a Choc Dip. Oh, I want a simple chocolate mother-fucking stupid ass-wiping cock-sucking mother-fucking SHIT FUCK chocolate dip please! Oh, thank you."
 or click here

Finally, here is a picture from our honeymoon, in which Adam caresses little Faa Mai during her afternoon nap. Note the helpful instructions on the t-shirt:

("Elephant trunks should be used for elephant things only.")


  1. Priceless yet again. Happy Birthday Adam! It's my birthday tomorrow and we're combining it with Mother's Day for when my Gran comes over.

    Pisces together, huh Adam? Suddenly everything makes a lot more sense!

  2. I have seen many blogs since I have been scouring the internet, but you and one other are the only ones I check on a regular basis... You kick so much ass! I love it! As long as you keep posting, I will keep spreading the night-time word of random awesomeness!

  3. That is a super cute elephant!!!

  4. Oh my god, I laughed so much for the audio that I got all teary eyed! I love the passion!

    Also, happy birthday Adam!!

  5. Happy Birthday Adam

  6. It's hilarious how Adam still manages to be so polite at the end of his rant. How very proper.

    Oh, thank you.

  7. The 'chest hair' quote; it's just so freaking bizarre I don't no what to say -other than keep your shirt on, Adam, during your birthday, otherwise you'll get 'it covered in lots of stuff. It'll take ages to clean up. One hair at a time.'

    Happy Birthday to you and your alter ego (if it's his birthday as well)!

  8. Great ones!
    Happy Birthdaaaay, Adam!
    Many hugs to you guys!

  9. I have never seen someone that worked-up over chocolate before without PMS being involved.

  10. Beautiful elephant photo and hilarious quotes as ever.

    Happy Birthday Adam! Hopefully someone brings you some Choc Dip...

  11. Delicious comments today ;-)
    Happy Birthday Adam - thanks for, you know, talking in your sleep! x

  12. I am a first time commenter. I've been reading this blog ever since I saw something about it on Yahoo! and I have to say, I have loved every single day there have been new quotes. I get such a kick out of these...hehehe...I've shared them with my classmates here at uni and most of them agree. Thank you Karen for sharing, and thank you Adam for just being you!

    Happy Birthday Adam!

  13. Happy Birthday Adam!! heehee Choc dip...I want one now :D

  14. Happy Birthday Adam

  15. Happy Birthday Adam. This stuff just cracks me the hell up. All the time I'm giggling at work, people are looking at me funny. I don't care. Laugh riots are GOOD!


  16. Happy Birthday Adam!
    I will have to use the "find things" one - I'm constantly being asked to find lost things coz i'm so good at it.. and now I can add some STM wit! =)

  17. happy birthday adam!

    we need some merchandise for that first one, for sure!

    and what a lovely elephant pic, so sweet :-)

  18. Luck Adam, gets to celebrate his birthday and Pi Day. Have a great day! And thanks for starting my day off with a laugh.

  19. Happy Birthday Adam!! Its my eldests today...he's 12 and it was mine yesterday...busy weekend with Mother's Day too!!! My boys love the bush babies one the best!!!

  20. Happy Birthday Adam! You bring a smile - a sick and twisted smile - to my face every day. Dream on sleep warrior!

  21. Happy Birthday Adam! Hope it's a great one!
    Love the pic! soo sweet - thanks Karen!
    I can't listen to the audio yet - little ears are listening!
    I'll keep the second one in mind and make sure my husband doesn't lend out his chest hair to any dick-faces! lol
    Have a wonderful day and I hope you get some Choc Dip for a treat!

  22. Happy Birthday, Adam!! Have a magical day.

    The find things quote is SO funny - another one that I totally didn't see coming. The chest hairs one... the visual for that is incredibly bizarre. And the choc dip - another hilarious visual of STM at the counter in some sweet shop... Pity the counter help. :)

    The photo is wonderful!!

  23. Happy Birthday Adam! The photo is beautiful.

    Did you buy Choc. Dip for the birthday festivities? Seems like he REALLY wants some.

  24. Happy Birthday Adam!

  25. Happy Birthday Adam!

  26. What's Choc Dip?

    and over the last year i've met a number of bears (men) who could epitomise the chest-hair complaint . . .

    happy b-day, adam!

  27. I love the pic!

    Happy birthday Adam!

  28. Happy Birthday! Love the picture, precious!

  29. Happy birthday Adam! Can't wait to see what ramblings the birthday cake inspires.

  30. His birthday is on Pi Day. Lucky!!!

  31. Happy birthday! Mine was yesterday...waiting for another year. :-)
    Thanks for a great year of silliness.
    How hard is it to go to the elephant refuge as a volunteer?

  32. Happy Birthday Adam!!! and many more!!

    Choc Dip! LMMFAO!!! Priceless! Love it! Thanks for the audio on that one! LOVE it!

    The elephant baby is soooooooooooooo cute!!!!
    Thanks for sharing the pic with us!

  33. Happy Birthday Adam! Don't quit the night job! ;)

  34. Have a Badgertastic Birthday Adam!

  35. Happy birthday, Adam!

    I really love elephants...a lot. What do they feel like?!?

  36. Have a fantastic birthday, Adam. You're a star!

  37. Prof. ZzzMAN-ylizer14 March 2010 at 17:37

    faraway wishes to U and those on this day!

    ---> "Don't worry. I'll find it. T(HA)t's what I do, find things in tall taling it,
    once again...

    another terribly novel idea in wonderland...
    from tweedledoo to tweedledum, I find you annoying. See?"

    ---> sooo, another ho(PP)er, skipper, and jumper peo ples - - -


    accordingl(Y), here comes another rab(BI)thole to get ove(R) ummmmm...

    (( a bracket it all together-picture wishes; from alice through the looking glass ))

    ^^ ^^ Send in (TH)e clowns,
    in this neighbourhoo(D), the giddy bus to Sleepy(A)dam Drive is heading in today to bear elephant wishes, the household of

    Mr. Adamtastic...badgerl(Y) good i(T) will be...^^ ^^

    it's His Day t(O) Do His Wa(Y) and thats a' cuppa J(O)e, incl(U)ding Choc Dip, Choc Dips, ana good'ol whippin' of choc dip by special request (!)

    theres also celebrations with Chocolate Dipped Truffles. Chocolate Dipped Fudge & Ganache. Pralines.
    Alcoholic Chocolates Dippers. ( careful l'il Molly ) Champagne Truffles. Liqueur Cream
    Chocolates Drops for all the guests here

    and THE MAN will be beehiving straight to the Simply Sweet chocolate dip table, with pleasure and contented smiles....his gimme gimme gimme, stuffed...he GETS...
    - - - as we look away, l@@k away...

    there's also chest-hair chocolating in this party that's gone euphorically funny from
    an animal perspective, the tele-elle trunk is by far too hairy of a tale to cleanup...

    soooo no need, the puddlin' in chocolate dreams is a best friends' dream shower
    Faa Mai Specialty...

    while, hoarding pail-fulls for the years supply, strolling along in calm, too cool and collecting His Way with little Faa Mai trailing beside to his hot hiding spot of

    swEEts contentment with passion-abandon, after the nappy afternoon from his watchover touch,

    it's the familiar walkabout exercise as the favorite thing to do,

    - - - now with the both of you two's, off into the sunset and Molly-jolly at days end,

    it's shitty pails of dark and sweet-gooeys from a day at the beaches-of-jungly-sands and canopy with canape galore,
    in the palm of the hands...

    B-daying it away at play ...Hey!....enj:)y

  38. I must ask though Karen, how do you sleep at night? with him sleep talking and all?! I mean, his quotes a wicked! But I probably would have gone bonker after a while sleeping next to a person who sleeptalks so much=P

  39. I love the one about finding people annoying. :)

  40. Happy birthday to a funny man! Have a good one!

  41. Happy B'day, Adam. And please send me the heffalump baby. She's too precious for words.

  42. By the way--is Adam the person who thinks up the words you have to type in to prove that you are human? My last one was "dogazine" and I'm sure that originated in one of Adam's dreams.

  43. Happy Birthday Adam, and Happy Pi day!

  44. Happy Birthday - as a fellow Brit this is so funny! Good to know that our accent and British things (Choc Dip) are being broadcast to the world!!! lol xx Jimy x

  45. Wow that was the longest rant of curses about chocolate that I have ever seen! ROFLOL

    Happy B-day Adam

  46. Happy Birthday Adam! It's kinda cool to have your birthday on Pi-Day, right? The number of Pi is 3.14 and so on, and the date is March 14th. 3/14/10...get it?!

  47. Hippo Birdie two Ewes,
    Hippo Birdie two Ewes,
    Hippo Birdie Deer A-dam,
    Hippo Birdie two Ewes!

    Hope you have a great birthday Adam :) Love today's quotes. I love the photo, too, it's very sweet.


    Poly ^x^

  48. NewMexicanAnnie15 March 2010 at 00:21

    Happy Birthday, Adam!!!!!! MANY happy returns, sir! And happy birthday to those who had/are having their birthdays around now!

    Thanks, Adam, for all your pearls of wisdom, though I'm sure you don't know how you do it. I don't think your alter ego, STM, is a super hero, though. I think he's more like a philosophical anti-hero. :) Happy birthday, again, to the pair of you. ;)

  49. HAHA! So Funny!
    I just found this blog. But i have to tell- i recently started to record my own 'sleep talks'. Lot of people have told me i talk a lot so i started to get curious, and now i've recorded like five nights or something :D
    But not in a million years do a say such cool stuff as your man!

  50. I'm reading again before bed to enjoy all the HB wishes and other fun, and went "yeah!" when I read dddaughter's 20:45 comment about the words you have to type in to post.

    This blog has the most interesting type-ins! It's like some secret language. I just clicked it a bunch of times in a row but didn't post:

    rumatchi, erolym, tedismol, ingluxe, seuke, caroboi, gnomitur, marymo, belening, phymp, ingslumb, serspai, ulatic

    I'm easily amused, no doubt, but it adds to the fun - each time I wonder what I'll get. :) And it does sound like stuff that could come out of STMs mind!

    G'night and Happy Day-after-your-birthday, Adam! Thanks to you both for -so- many laughs.

  51. Happy Birthday Adam!! Some of these sound a little "night time Tourette's"....technically my hubby shares a b'day with you - his is today (which is the 15th over here).Thanks for posting Karen. Rochelle.

  52. happy birthday adam
    that has to be most curse words i've ever heard in one sentence that actually fit

  53. 4ever =O) laughter15 March 2010 at 04:05

    Wishes for a happy sweets! day in your sleep or awaking from it. Best to the DUO of you!

    (side note on type-ins,

    "By entering these encryption codes within a programs software of tumble letters, you help to prevent spam and fake registrations. The codes can be typed in all lowercase as most common and these methods are used by many programs these days")

    Hava Happy snappy in your dreams, Adams' and so far away from's dreamscapes... ahoy!

  54. "Don't worry. I'll find it. That's what I do, find things. I find you annoying. See?"
    new favorite

  55. BritGirl_in_Pittsburgh15 March 2010 at 13:38

    I normally don't comment, but this picture was so adorable, I just had to! You are both so lucky to be able to interact with the elephants! I'm sure you'll both remember it for the rest of your lives!
    Happy Birthday Adam!
    Love your blog!

  56. Happy Birthday.

    haha. Elaphant things only. Like an elephant pillow.

    It's hilarious that he yells in the audio and then says "please" in the nicest voice. haha!

  57. Absolutely amazing... I can't imagine what it would be like to pet one of those beautiful creatures. Thanks for sharing..

  58. Happy Birthday, Adam! It was also mine, which is why I'm only just now getting here.

  59. Happy Belated Birthday Adam! Best wishes from K in Arizona

  60. Its really funny, i am still laughing, i really enjoyed your post through out the end, thanks for the post and for the elephant's picture as well.

  61. I am so incredibly jealous! What an amazing experience, thanks for sharing. And thanks for these posts, becuase no matter how full of it my day is I always no where to go when I need a good giggle.

  62. I am sooooooooooooo jealous!

  63. Mmm! Choc Dips! I get 'em every time I get petrol. :D

  64. the 14th is my birthday too

  65. How funny! I'm an American and my boyfriend's British (living in Banbury) and your husband's birthday is the day after my boyfriend's. Hehe!

    I found this site yesterday and immediately asked Keith (my boyfriend)if he talks in his sleep. He said, in his usual teasing tone, "I don't know: I'm asleep, ain't I?"

    I'm sure, though, that if he did talk in his sleep, it would be littered with Cockney slang that I would certainly not understand.

    I love the blog and had to comment when I realized the whole birthday thing. This blog certainly brings a me a great big smile.

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