Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)


Sep 30 2010

"(singing) Who will buy this wonderful pony? Who will buy…. NO! You can't afford it. Fuck off. My pony. Alllll mine. Come here pony! Come! COME HERE PONY! Ok, who wants to buy this pony? It's crap. Crap pony. (singing) Who will buy this wonderful pony? It's crap."

At this point, I break down and giggle.
"Not funny! It's rubbish. It'll only go away again. Go away. Bye-bye!"
 or click here
"Balls of steel! More like balls of hot, sweaty, clammy, mildewy… blech."
 or click here
(Molly the dog is snoring) "Mmmmm…. Mmmmm… Mmmm… SHOOT THE COW! Mmmm-hm. Hmm-mmm."
 or click here

Then Adam woke up...

 or click here
KAREN: (giggling)
ADAM: Oh... What?
KAREN: (singing) "Who will buy this wonderful pony..."
ADAM: I was singing?
KAREN: Mmm-hmm.
ADAM: I was singing Oliver?!
KAREN: (laughing)
ADAM: Oh dear.
KAREN: "Who will buy this wonderful pony... You can't afford it, fuck off! My pony!" And then you went through a long thing trying to call your pony. And then he wouldn't come—
ADAM: She.
KAREN: She, sorry, she wouldn't come.
ADAM: That's better.
KAREN: And then you yelled at the pony—
ADAM: How loudly?
KAREN: I should say you spoke very sternly.
ADAM: Okay.
KAREN: So then you decided that she was crap—
ADAM: He. I changed my mind.


  1. This is why I love STM. Never mind breakfast, this is the best way to start your day!

  2. Wonderful! I can't start my day without a little STM song.

  3. blow it out your ass. STM must be psyched for duke nukem forever

  4. Singing Oliver! Damn. DAMN. I love musicals, so mix this and STM and you have a total winner for me.

  5. LMAO!!! What a hilarious morning! Insomnia sucks, but STM makes it all better :-)

  6. Subconscious Cockney rhyming slang connection:
    Pony and trap = crap.

  7. lol @ the "bye bye" at the end.

    @Snugs72: Your right STM DOES make insomnia better :) (I just wish that the walls would stop moving around...I bet they're doing it intentionally):P

  8. thanks for the morning laugh - yet again.

  9. I wonder if anyone will buy his pony tonight.... hmmm

  10. From the makers of Pony Crap™ comes Crap Pony™!
    Amaze your friends with how it does nothing! Marvel as it refuses to move when you're riding it, but runs away when you're not! Yes, buy your Crap Pony™ today!

  11. Cows and ponies is it? Well, it could be elephants and hippos again!

    Cows and ponies are much easier to clean up after, and not near as keen to kill you!

  12. I love you guys, it makes my morning a better one every day!

  13. You're becoming my favorite first-thing-in-the morning; even before coffee! (if I were drinking coffee simultaneously I'd probably be snorting it out my nose, so I separate the two).

  14. OH my god I am laughing way too hard right now. The singing! And this:

    "He. I changed my mind."

    Thank you, thank you. all... three... of you. STM makes my day.

  15. The cow shooting reminds me of nature shows when two bulls or two male gorillas are about to fight and it always starts with them making guttural sounds at each other.

  16. "its crap. crap pony" amazing XD

  17. Aw, I wish I knew someone who could joke about themselves like that!
    I love the conversations you post after you wake up. His imagination is amazing!

  18. Words cannot describe my love for this. "SHOOT THE COW!"

  19. FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  20. This site has made my day :)

  21. Oh, dear.......

    STM's been bad-mouthing the pony so often, it's developed gender-identity confusion........ 7@=Q

  22. The way STM said 'My pony' reminds me of 'My boat, my rules'.

  23. I love how "who will buy this wonderful pony" is quickly followed by "it's crap!"

  24. He only says the pony's crap because he doesn't actually want anyone to buy him/her. See, he even tells you you can't afford it and that the pony is all his. So, he's trying to dissuade you by saying the pony is crap. of course.

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