Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)


Nov 7 2010

"Only you can screw up a bagel transaction."

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"At the rate I'm going, I'm gonna need another dozen turkey bags. Oi, back in the bag. Back in the bag, damn you!"
 or click here

Here we are, trying to make sense of that one:

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(transcript below)

Karen's notes: Hey, check out the new third column! Man, trying to customize these blogger templates is not for the faint hearted.

In particular, after weeks of prodding from Adam, I have added an easy way to get to the archives.

Here's the reveal transcript:

ADAM: What's a turkey bag? What, is it an American thing?
KAREN: Some people do cook their Thanksgiving turkey in a special kind of bag in the oven, 'cause it keeps the juices in.
ADAM: No, we don't have that here.
KAREN: This sounds like you're talking about live turkeys.
ADAM: Maybe I'm putting children into turkey bags.
KAREN: It seems a good idea—
ADAM: Yeah.
KAREN: —quieting them down that way, when you're tired of them.
ADAM: Instead of the naughty chair, get in the turkey bag! This is Parenting 101.



    you'd both love this. it's a comedy routine about turkey bags. it was the first thing that came to mind when i heard the audio.

  2. They're really called roasting bags because you can put anything you roast in the oven into the bag. They work great. Your meat comes out really moist and you don't have to keep running to baste it. It's self-basting.

    I once tried to describe to some folks from England was a pot roast is. Kept getting more and more confusing as they kept using food terms that are completely different there then here. "No, it's not a casserole. A casserole has noodles - except for those casseroles that have rice. No, not Chinese noodles, macaroni noodles. I know it's a pasta but here in America we tend to call them noodles. Pasta noodles."

    You can imagine their end of the conversation. I finally told them if they ever found themselves in my neck of the woods I'd make them a pot roast.

  3. Thanks for the 3rd column! When I first found STM, I wanted to go back and listen from the beginning. This is much easier!

  4. I often use a cooking bag for cooking turkey. It makes clean up so much easier. I also have crock pot bags, which I use when cooking pot roast.
    BTW, Christmas tree bags are big enough for teenagers.

  5. I'm a "lurker" who visits your site daily. More often than not, when I read STM's pearls of wisdom to my husband, I can't get through the entire sentence, because we're both laughing so hard. Thanks for starting our days out right.

    I wanted to check in with you on the third column... LOVE it! Makes history easier to find, and gives the site a 'tighter' look. Keep it up.

  6. My two cents worth? The new column is great, but the Google ads in the first column are taking over your middle column! Go away Google ads!!!!!
    I love the reveals! You two are the best.

  7. Love you guys. For me, with the new column some things in the left and middle column are getting cut off on the right side.... they're not wrapping properly. I'm sure you'll get the bugs worked out, Karen. Keep up the great work!

  8. really like the addition of the third column. thanks for doing that. :)

  9. Did you notice in the transcript you spelled "oven" incorrectly? Not a big deal...just didn't know if you were a stickler on spelling errors or not. ;)

    Great as always, thanks for the extra convo reveal. Love that!

  10. no google ads for me and I'm using google chrome. me likey no ads, but perhaps it's some other setting? love the site.


    Cooking bags of various sizes, including turkey bags.

    Also, you can take cook your bird in a plain brown paper sack (if you can find any in this day of plastic and ink imprints). Just have to remember to grease the inside of the sack, or it may combust in the oven!

  12. After spending a day with my teething 6 month old child, I do get a kick out of the turkey bagging idea.. ;) Thank you for making the end of my long day!

  13. You can get two sizes in Lakeland Ltd...

    Heavenly chicken if you cook it with lemon and garlic

  14. @JamiSings: I think that's a USA-internal regional thing, and not just a US vs British English thing. I'm from the east coast, and when I think of a casserole, I think of any saucy dish, usually with melted cheese on top, baked in a casserole dish. Casseroles can contain noodles, but they might also contain potatoes, or just about anything really. I also only think of long pasta (fettuccine, tagliatelle, possibly spaghetti) as noodles. Other pasta shapes I just consider pasta.

  15. lmao have to tell ya'll this... as I'm reading and listening to this, I see 2 ads. 1 about parenting and a 2nd one about cooking classes.

  16. @Jackie - Could be. I'm from California. But the folks from England said anything cooked in the oven rather than (then? I can never get that right) on top of the stove is a casserole, even if it's just solely meat.

    Course I also had to tell some of the Americans that were in on the conversation they should never cook pot roast with bell peppers cause it makes the meat bitter. (Plus I'm allergic to bell peppers so I'm biased.)

  17. @Jackie: Of course, a Midwesterner would probably be puzzled at our ida of casseroles - particularly, the absence of the UBI*: cream of mushroom soup.

    *Universal Binding Ingredient 7@=e

  18. @JamiSings: Nah, a casserole in the UK is specifically something cooked in sauce, in a casserole dish. Usually vegetable-based, but you can do a casserole of mostly meat:

    If it doesn't sit in sauce, then it's just a roast, same as the US. A pasta-based casserole is usually referred to as a 'pasta bake'. And 'noodles' are something from the far East.

  19. YES!!! By all means, put the little monster in the turkey bag! And don't pay any attention to the sudden blue tinge to it's complexion! It isn't REALLY suffocation unless you tie a not in the end!

    Uh? I DID tell you to tie a knot in the end! Didn't I?

  20. @Spudtater - Ah, that's so not what these English folks told me. But I think it didn't help the issue that some people came on saying, "I cook my pot roast in a pot on top of the stove!" I kept looking up and posting recipes and others would come along and say "But that's not a pot roast, THIS is a pot roast."

    Throw in the language barrier there with the whole paste/noodles thing....