Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)


Mar 4 2011

"Listen: Some people play Scrabble. Some people play chess. You? You play turd puppets."

 or click here

To explain this next one, you must know that Molly's best friend, Twinkle, is staying with us for ten days while her mommy is home in Greece. Twinkle randomly barks throughout the night. This always wakes me, but Adam sometimes somehow manages to sleep right through:
"(in response to Twinkle barking, STM sings) Yes it is Twinkle sitting in a tree... Shoot the cunt! Shoot the cunt!"
 or click here

This is a rather momentous occasion: STM has never specifically named anyone before!

And here we are at 3:30 am, both awakened by Twinkle:

 or click here
(Transcript below)

(Eleni, Adam doesn't really hate Twinkle! It's just the sleep-deprivation talking!) Note how Adam is at the point where he automatically blames everything unpleasant on Twinkle. To put his accusation that she has taken his duvet into perspective, Twinkle is a MINIATURE chihuahua. About the size— and weight— of a baguette. Here she is with Molly, who is a freakishly small beagle.

TWINKLE: (cough)
STM: Mmm.
TWINKLE: (cough)
STM: Mmmmm.
TWINKLE: (cough)
STM: Mmm?
ADAM: You're coughing! You're coughing!
KAREN: No, it's Twinkle. Twinkle's making this weird noise, and you were answering her in your sleep.
ADAM: You're coughing.
KAREN: No, it's Twinkle.
ADAM: You're— Twinkle's coughing?
KAREN: Yeah.
ADAM: I hate that dog... Twinkle's taken all my duvet.
KAREN: No, Twinkle wasn't even in the bed until a couple minutes ago.
ADAM: (groan)
KAREN: Actually, your duvet's sitting— You are— You are trapping your duvet underneath you. (pulls it out from under Adam and covers him up) There you are.
ADAM: I'm hot now!
KAREN: Oh! (uncovers him again)
ADAM: That's better. Thank you.
KAREN: Go back to sleep.
ADAM: How can I sleep when your knee is in my back.
KAREN: It's visiting you.
ADAM: Well, it's overstayed it's welcome. Tell it to back off... Thank you!


  1. Oh dear. The photo of Molly in beagle bagel position is killing me. So cute! My cat is a white and tawny calico, and looks so similar when she sleeps in kittyball position.

  2. LOL! LOL! What time did the discussion take place and how long did it last? Were you both able to get back to sleep? Sorry about all the questions I am just amazed how you both can be sound asleep then wide awake and talking and then back to sleep. It's truly a magically power that more people need. At what part of the dialogue was STM awake and not ST? You guys are just great! Have a great day! JS of IL (USA). Do any of you, STM, Karen and Adam know where the majority of your readers are? Sure would be pretty cool to see how many countries are represented, how many states (USA) are reading, etc. I wonder if there is a way to run into a pole; J/K, take a pole. LOL! Have a great day.

  3. I can't get over how much Molly looks like our former beagle-mix. Only the ears are different. Also, miniature chihuahua?! I never knew there was such a thing. If it weren't for the middle-of-the-night barking, I would want one now.

  4. dear anonymous, the discussion took place about 3.30am i believe. karen and i have a knack for being able to be pretty coherent and alert almost as soon as we wake up. the sleep talking normally takes place in 5 - 10 minute bursts during the night. karen should be able to give you more of an idea as to what time i was prattling away!

    we do have software where we can see the last 500 visitors to the blog have come from. i love randomly looking at the word map and seeing where people are logging in from. the majority are from the states but we have representation from north america, south america, europe, asia, australia, new zealand, middle east and russia!

    hope that answers your questions, have a great day - adam

  5. I'm starting to wonder whether STM is a separate identity of Adam's who just happens to wake up before Adam does - a la Dissociative Identity Disorder (also known as multiple personality disorder). Don't worry, I'm probably wrong, I just read a book about it lately :P But really ... a separate identity, with an emotional age of ... about four? with a vocabulary to match (like woolly = sheep) complete with made-up animals, except for the swearing... Even the fact that STM resents Adam is consistent, given Adam has control the rest of the time, and I would wonder if most of his remarks are addressed to Adam. I'd even speculate about the causes, but that'd be getting into dangerous territory. Look it up if you really want to know.

    That's my weird thought anyway ... but hey, if it were really the cause, and you got "treatment", then he'd definitely stop saying such funny things. So if you're happy, might be best to leave it be. Difficult decisions.

  6. Wait- there's a fascinating idea in that last anonymous comment: Maybe all those insults are actually directed at ADAM! Maybe STM hates it that Adam gets to run their body most of the time! -Karen

  7. how could anyone hate me? just the thought leaves me a little bit sad! STM better get his attitude adjusted otherwise it's sleeping pills for me and an end to him. HAHAHAHAHA (wow egomania is catching!) - adam

  8. the funniest thing, for me, was
    *Karen covers adam with the duvet* there you are
    Adam: I'm hot now
    "Karen takes it away again"
    Adam: That's better. Thank you

    That made me laugh out loud :)
    (also the *cough*, "mmmmhm" dialogue)

    i look forward to your blog every day! thank you guys for sharing!! (reading from germany but i'm icelandic as well. that's for the "pole"^^)

  9. A.) I sense a future rewind in the it DUVET WARS. All the weird issues with the duvet, and the fact that it's a funny word to those of us from the States anyhow...what slays me is that STM/Adam is always freaking out about it, but when he's covered up he gets all annoyed.
    B.) Sleeping pills are never the answer! Imagine STM with the power to drive a car, wander about, and other more active behavior and no wake-up function to stop him! I've read waaaay too many accounts of sleep walking, wandering, and yes, driving when people take that stuff. Scary!
    C.) I'm from WA state in USA. And having issues posting...probably my work comp's fault...plz delete any multi-posts that may accidentally occur. Thanks!

  10. this has become one of my FAVORITE things to read each day. i have a sleep-mumbling-cowboy (never anything intelligible) and so it tickles me to think that some of STM's gems might be what i'm missing out on . . .

    i've even found entries to share with friends via links on Facebook . . . thanks for making my days a little brighter.

  11. Today's quotes, I don't know what to say other than absolute gold!! Multiple personalities and all Karen, Adam and STM you three do a great job. Though Adam I think you should stop plotting Twinkles downfall, poor wee thing!

  12. "Hey, kids! What time is it?!"

    "It's DOODY DOODY TIME!!!"

    (sorry, just had to say it...) 7@=Q

  13. I love the way that Twinkle answers STM's order of execution with a little whine. Poor little Twinkle!

  14. I want Twinkle isn't nice to breed teacup chihuahuas or teacup any breed because so often the puppies have defective innards and suffer

    ...but they are sooooo cute. I'd love to have Twinkle and I wouldn't mind making noises in the middle of the night.

  15. I also have a freakishly small beagle named Molly! I loved her picture.