Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20110308

Mar 8 2011

"Tea for two. You can fuck off, 'cause you're three, and three's not invited. You rectal intrusion."

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With that pouty little tone, he sounds like an obnoxious little girl hosting a tea-party for her teddy bears.

And here is our wake-up, in which Adam is uncharacteristically suspicious of me!


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Transcript below.

Adam also tells me that he had a dream that he was Charlie Sheen's assistant, but that he could only do it as STM, because that's the only way that Charlie could understand him.
STM: What are you doing to my hand? FUCK OFF!
ADAM: What are you doing to my hand?
KAREN: Nothing.
ADAM: (suspiciously) What were you doing to my hand?
KAREN: I was lying here.
ADAM: (accusingly) You were trapping my hand to get me to speak?
KAREN: Adam!
ADAM: What were you doing to my hand?!
KAREN: You had put your hand under my head so—
ADAM: (disbelievingly) Oh, is that what happens? I actually managed to get my hand under your head?
KAREN: Adam, I was lying here.
ADAM: Yes, doing what?
KAREN: Lying here.
ADAM: Doing what, exactly?
KAREN: ... Lying here.
ADAM: Seriously, what were you doing to my hand? It was stuck.
KAREN: I don't know, baby. I don't really know how it got up there. You rolled over just a minute ago.
ADAM: But it was under something. I couldn't move it.
KAREN: I don't know.
ADAM: You sure you weren't holding it?
KAREN: Look at me! This is one arm. See this? (waves arm up and down under the cover)
ADAM: Oh, it's floppy!
KAREN: Well, it's all the way—
ADAM: Oh floppy!
KAREN: It's all the way under the covers—
ADAM: It's like a penguin.
KAREN: You can see that it's pinned down. You can see this other one's just sitting here.
ADAM: Ok. You're not evil then.

35 comments:

  1. I wish my boyfriend would decide I wasn't evil that easily. He punched himself in the face the other night and is STILL convinced I did it...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Do you ever sleep, Karen? it seems like you are always awake before him and you talk about doing things on your computer in the wee hours of the morning. Sleep, woman, sleep!

    ReplyDelete
  3. OMG the Charlie Sheen thing......... Awesome. WINNING :-)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Dying laughing at the reveal.

    And the Charlie Sheen bit - FTW. Hilarious.

    ReplyDelete
  5. You rectal intrusion!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm fairly certainly only STM could be Sheen's assistant. In fact, the world would be a better place if STM would keep Sheen in check.

    I also wish the people who decide I'm evil (based on nothing but a vague feeling) would change their minds so easily. Adam, you're an example to the world!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I love the reasoning here:
    KAREN: Look at me! This is one arm. See this?
    ADAM: Oh, it's floppy!
    KAREN: Well, it's all the way—
    ADAM: Oh floppy!
    KAREN: It's all the way under the covers—
    ADAM: It's like a penguin.
    KAREN: You can see that it's pinned down. You can see this other one's just sitting here.
    ADAM: Ok. You're not evil then.

    And that's how you decide if someone's evil: floppy arms like a penguin. If they are pinned down, you are not evil. :P

    ReplyDelete
  8. @Lora: So you're saying that evil is relative? Take the Penguin of Batman fame for example. He is undeniably evil, but if you pinned his arms down with a blanket or otherwise, he would no longer be evil?

    Makes sense to me!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Happy Hour Julie9 March 2011 at 16:11

    tee hee ... 'I couldn't mooooove it!'

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hilarious - Always gives me a giggle!

    Maybe he applied to be Charlie Sheen's intern?!

    #Winning

    http://wanderlustshelby.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  11. Ahhhhh I laughed out loud when I read about the dream thing! HILARIOUS!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I absolutely love: Oh flopsy! XD

    ReplyDelete
  13. Two's company, three's a corporation.

    ReplyDelete
  14. This comment has been removed by the author.

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