Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)


Oct 10 2011

"That's not a goody bag! That's a fucking old shite bag. Fucking plastic toy. Oooh, balloons. You can't give that shit away without expecting a kick in the nuts, now give me a fucking goody bag and make it full of goody!"

 or click here

This was from Saturday night. Adam's daughter had gone to a birthday party that day, from which she returned with what I deemed to be a perfectly respectable goody bag. Sounds like STM didn't agree.

And after watching The X-Factor for the first time:
"You know what's so amazing about your voice? No, neither do I. I was hoping you could enlighten me, 'cause personally, I think it's shite. Fuck ooooooffff, mutha-fuckaaa!"
 or click here

For those outside the UK, The X-Factor is like American Idol, but with much more varied contestants, and way more heart. We watched it because we were staying at Adam's parents' house, and they are big fans. Unfortunately for Adam, I think I'm hooked.

 or click here
ADAM: (loud smack!)
KAREN: (horrified gasp) Oh my god! Baby? What just happened?
ADAM: Where are we?!
KAREN: We're at your parents'.
ADAM: Oh, it's not a bad dream. I really am here.
KAREN: (giggles, then) Baby, what just connected with what?
ADAM: Oh, yeah, that'd be my aching hand...
KAREN: With what?
ADAM: The solid wall.
KAREN: Aww. Well, you know what, you were twitching and stuff.
ADAM: So I was just twitching and then I lashed out? Nothing else?
KAREN: No, I mean, you were talking.
KAREN: The last thing you said before you woke up, I think it was, (yawn) it was related to The X-Factor.
ADAM: Oh you don't be serious, please no.
KAREN: You said, "You know what's so amazing about your voice? Neither do I."
ADAM: You know you can never post that, don't you? 'Cause I don't want anybody knowing that I watch The X-Factor, okay?


  1. Adam? She didn't listen... :p

  2. "Cause I don't want anybody knowing that I watch The X-Factor, okay?"

    s'all good Adam. I didn't read it :-)

  3. In the immortal words of Sergeant Shultz from Hogan's Heroes. "I know nothing! I hear nothing! I saw nothing!"
    Karen - we got X-Factor here in the states now too. think they did away with american idol, or it's playing in american idol's down time.

  4. Yep, Simon Cowell brought X-Factor over here.

    I don't think they'll ever get rid of American Idol. Ugh.

  5. We're getting even for you guys sending us the X-Factor, We are sending you a version of "The Voice"!

  6. It looks like though that unlike AI, XF doesn't have that moronic age limit. (No one over 28 can compete on AI, which sucks because there's people far over 28 who can sing better than any of the winners.) So while I'll likely never watch it, I'll probably try to get on it.

    But please, could you stop sending your reality shows across the pond? You've stuck us with What Not To Wear, X Factor, Trading Spaces - not to mention lame sitcoms like The Office and Coupling. If you're going to send something else, send something like How Clean Is Your House or Ground Force!

    Actually, send Ground Force first. My dad could use their help getting a front yard back in. (Long story involving house remodeling, being laid off, hip injury, and a lazy big brother.)

  7. I wouldn't mind Ground force to cross the pond. I miss that show and it's been one of my mom's goal to have them redo the backyard.

  8. Jami: First you call 'The Office' lame, then you suggest that 'How Clean Is Your House' is good... What. Are. You. Smoking?!

  9. x factor is here in the states now

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  11. "It's like American Idol but with more heart"?

    I'm not a fan or most normal people, I watch the crappy auditions and then the last few finals episodes...

    But what the hell are you talking about? What about the U.K.'s "X-Factor," which is now in the states and is nearly identical to both the U.K. version and the former "American Idol," has more "heart"?

    In the eight years of "X Factor," and the ten years of "American Idol," you've compared and contrasted 212 and 398 episodes, respectively, and have apparently detected "way more heart" in the former, between two near-identical television programs. Please! Enlighten us!

  12. I think if STM were a judge on The X-factor, I would actually watch it.

  13. we never asked to send x factor to america. and you can't complain about british shows in the US - all thats ever on over here is friends, the big bang theory, how I met your mother, the simpsons, frasier, etc etc

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