Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)


Nov 4 2011

"I can do it. I can! I can do it. Oh...Oh... I can't. I can't do it. I can't! I can't, and it's all your fault. It's all your fucking fault, you gangrenous dollop of menstrual discharge. Fuck off!"

 or click here

Ugh. Another lovely image, care of STM.
"FYI: I vibrate when I see cats and apples. Never take me to the kitty orchard. It'll get messy."
 or click here

We really tried to figure out the reference here, folks, and came up empty.


  1. WHY can't I stop laughing at the thought of a kitty orchard? xD

    Somebody help me.

  2. kitty orchard - image of kittens hanging off of tree limbs.

    well atleast we know who to come to if we want to make applesauce....
    1. apples
    2. kittens
    3. STM
    4. vegan

    how to prepare applesauce.
    Place STM in middle of a big tub. Pour the apples around STM while he is in the middle of the tub. Pick up kitten and show it to STM. Apples should be mashed up within 10 minutes. put kitten away. show STM a vegan to get STM out of the tub. add flavoring and/or sweetener to taste. Viola! Applesauce!

  3. Has STM seen this?

  4. Or maybe...

  5. Today is the Feast of St. Carlos Borromeo, patron of apple orchards. Mission Carmel was named for him. Also patron of stomach ailments and a bushel more.

  6. I´ll bet he can do it! Why not? Maybe should stay out of the kitty orchard, though. And when will he stop sleep-talking? Is kind of fun, but a bit weird...:-)

  7. Yeah! That’s absolutely right fully agree with you.

  8. ' kitty littertalk ' around the CoolKat4 November 2011 at 17:04

    Krud it be?

    a) Tony Little sez to STM...You Can Do IT!
    NO Can't do! this time. happycat!

    b) Apple Orchard, Banana Cat Dance 8663
    (Marshall makes up an annoying song to
    remember his password)
    "Dude what's my password?"

    "Just remember apple orchard banana cat dance 8663"
    - By popular demand, here's "AOBCD8663," the song Marshall makes up to remember the password to the website with his bar exam results. In the "Spoiler Alert" episode from season 3 of How I Met Your Mother on CBS

    c) VIBEraphoned!...You've reached a 60 second warning entering an appalling ripen-ing apple orchard field of dreams, kitty loitered - amast mess, indeed, and averted.

    d) that earie smell of sweet nothings or rather'll get worse isn't too far from having a BBT nononsensical Sheldon attack! moment

    e) errr, none or all the above, your choice,
    kneedeep, gotta get- - -away - - -
    you've been served...trickytreat!

  9. Cat = pussy
    apples = warm apple pie

    He was trying to sound innocent?

    Jim: Guys, uh, what exactly does third base feel like?
    Kevin: You want to take this one?
    Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Like warm apple pie.
    Jim: Yeah?
    Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Yeah.
    Jim: Apple pie, huh?
    Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Uh huh.
    Jim: McDonald's or homemade?

  10. And thanks to STM for reciting from the children's classic, "The Little Engine that Played the Blame Game"..... 7@=Q

  11. This is the most hilarious thing I have ever thing! This quote is what made me read through everything else in the blog.

  12. You mean he doesn't like pussy trees?

  13. Clever one! Cats = pussy; apples = breasts

  14. Nah. Cockney for teats and nipples.

  15. Hello Kitty stuff frequently features apples.