Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)


Apr 13 2012

"Wake up and smell the coffee... Can't smell it, can you? That's because you haven't made it yet, so get up and make me coffee, bitch!"

 or click here
"I was wearing my mum's bikini. Kill me now. Kill me now!"
 or click here


  1. Ha! First one is perfect for my friend. Just read it to her and she said " that's why I make it the night before" ....

  2. Night before coffee? Can't imagine that tastes good... just leave it for a couple of hours and it starts to get bad. (Of course, I'm more of a tea person, so rarely drinks coffee at all).

    Love the whiny voice after the second 'kill me now'. ;)

    1. You set it up the night before so you just have to hit the switch in the morning.

  3. Perhaps she just sets it up the night before. Still sounds gross.

  4. I wonder if STM is telling you something with that first one?

  5. As for the second one: come, come, don't be so dramatic: we've all done that once or twice before, haven't we?

    .................Haven't we?

    Guys? 7@=Q

  6. That moan at the end of the second one sounds so pitiful. I've never seen my mom in a bikini, but wearing one she could wear would probably make me feel the same way.

  7. headbangin'; can't make heads or tails of this day, either, javajoe!15 April 2012 at 12:37

    t'was the night before coffee, and all thru the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse, (in the house, muzic maestro pls )...
    ... it wuz an...Itsy, Bitsy, Teenie, Weenie, Yellow Polka-Dot Bikini

    HE was afraid to come out of the locker
    HE was as nervous as (shutup!)-he could be
    Ssss-HE was afraid to come out of the locker
    he was afraid that somebody would see

    One, two, three, four, tell the people what he wore (dreammmy)

    It was an itsy, bitsy, teenie, weenie, yellow polka-dot bikini
    That he wore for the first time this today
    An itsy, bitsy, teentie, weenie, yellow polka-dot bikini
    So in the locker ( in his mind) he wanted to stay
    Two, three, four, stick around we'll tell you more

    . . .

    STM, was afraid to come out in the open
    And so a blanket around him (at nite) he wore
    he was (kinda NOT) afraid to come out in the open
    And so sleeptalkin' sat bundled up on the shore
    Two, three, four, tell the people what he wore

    It t'was an itsy, bitsy, teenie, weenie, yellow polka-dot (mum's the word) bikini
    That he wore for the first time today, (...Karen...omg)
    An itsy, bitsy, teentie, weenie, yellow polka-dot bikini
    (oh mother, it's true, dreamin'a lil'o dream out loud)
    So in the blanket (and covert of night), he wanted to stay
    Two!, three!, four!, stick around we'll tell you m-m-M-m-more

    Now, hez SO NOT afraid, to come out of the water
    And I wonder what he's so not gonna do (or say)
    Now He is afraid to come out of the water (an open up a can of worms here, in space)
    And the poor little guy's; turning blue
    Two, three, four, tell the people what he swears he's never wore

    ,,,It was an itsy, bitsy, teenie, weenie, yellow polka-dot for real, bikini
    That he wore (one day), for the first time that wuz today
    An itsy, bitsy, teentie, weenie, yellow polka-dot bikini (mummy say it isn't so)
    So in the water he wanted to stay
    (From the locker to the blanket)
    (From the blanket to the shore)
    (From the shore to the water)
    Yes, there isn't any more

    oh, coffee's brewwing, gotta go...hallucinating high on'n dance number, these
    mourning thoughts, justssssaying...

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