Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)


Sep 5 2012

"Hey! I've told you before: I like my bananas al dente! Get it right."

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And here is the ensuing conversation, in which Adam tries to get all philosophical on us.

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ADAM: [I think that's a] direct jab at you: "I like my bananas yellow, I don't like any brown spots on them..."
KAREN: ... and I don't like any green.
ADAM: Yeah, I think that's STM's way of having a go back at you.
KAREN: Well, it's true, though. Bananas—
ADAM: Don't try and justify it. Just accept that fact that STM thinks you're a little bit crazy when it comes to your banana loving.
KAREN: Anyone will tell you that the perfect banana has lost all its green, and hasn't yet started to turn brown.
ADAM: Actually, quite a few people prefer it with a few little speckled brown spots.
KAREN: I can't help it that some people have bad taste.
ADAM: Just say: "I like my bananas a little bit less ripe—"
KAREN: I don't like them "less ripe." I like them exactly perfectly ripe!
ADAM: But that's not exactly perfectly ripe.
KAREN: Losing all green is ripe. Anything beyond that is rotten.
ADAM: One little freckle of a brown spot—
KAREN: That's heading for rot.
ADAM: Let's face it, darling, the minute we're born we're all heading for rot.


  1. The banana code, for the ignorant, is as follows:

    Green = Fried banana
    Green/yellow = Banana rice
    Yellow/green = perfect
    Yellow = useless unless you like smoothies
    Brown spots = banana cake
    Brown = evil slime

    1. False. My father used to make "frozen rotten banana shakes" and they were AMAZING.

  2. That last line would be great for a birthday card.
    Maybe some bananas on the front and inside:
    "Let's face it, darling, the minute we're born we're all heading for rot."

    hee hee!

  3. Last line would be perfect for something. Card sounds about right. ;)

    Bananas... ah, that is also a discussion we have in my family.
    Totally green = not ripe.
    Green at the top = perfect (me).
    Yellow = still eatable/for smoothies (me) or perfect (my sis).
    First hint of brown = for smoothie (me) or perfect (my mom).
    Lots of brown spots = perfect for cake.

  4. I find it funny that one of the ads today features a banana going from yellow to a very disturbing brown (it's some weight loss ad, telling you to avoid 5 foods and lose weight)

  5. Actually, bananas with brown spots are truly ripe and are more nutritious than yellow bananas.

  6. Yep - the last comment from Adam says it all!! LOL

  7. Sorry, Karen, the perfect banana has gotten freckles, because that's when they're the sweetest.

  8. Yep, I like my bananas slightly freckled too. But there's a fine line between ripe and rotten. I call it "the banana window of edibility."

  9. "And so from hour to hour we ripe and ripe;
    And so from hour to hour we rot and rot;
    And thereby hangs a tale..."

    - Shakespeare, "As You Like It" 7@=e

  10. I completely lost it when I read/heard the last sentence of that conversation! XD

  11. I have had this conversation w/myself many times in my head! Completely love it
    *I must agree w/Adam though, I prefer my bananas a bit more ripe w/brown spots! :)

  12. Life, it's a sexually transmitted terminal disease.

  13. I'm with you, Karen! As soon as they start getting brown spots, they turn to mush. They may be sweeter, but I don't like the feel of the mushy banana in my mouth.

  14. Adam is correct. The brown spots are sugar spots, as my dad says. They make 'em sweet and yummy. And that's a good point he made at the end.

  15. Studies in Japan have shown that when the skin gets brown spots (the ones that don't effect the actual fruit) that the banana has far higher levels of cancer fighting antioxidants. So if you can look past the brown spots on the skin you might just be making yourself healthier :)

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