Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)


Oct 22 2012

"It was such a good idea giving the guinea pigs wings. Flappy flappy flappy. Fat bats! Fat bats!"

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And here is Adam's awakening, with a fearful shouted query concerning our cheese status (transcription below):

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I'd like to preface this reveal by saying, in my own defense, my entire palate is not white trash. But, nostalgia goes a long way. Also, Kraft singles are delicious.
KAREN: Was that... "no cheese" or "old cheese?'
ADAM: I honestly can't help you. You're gonna have to review the recording. What I do know is that I've been left with a feeling of stress.
KAREN: Stress?
ADAM: So maybe what I shouted was stressful.
KAREN: Well, what's more stressful: no cheese, or old cheese? Personally, in my world, no cheese would be way more stressful than old cheese.
ADAM: Hmm. Having not heard the recording, and only knowing the last bit being "EESE," I would have to assume "old."
KAREN: Really? What makes you say that?
ADAM: Nope, nope, nope. I'm saying that because I'm falling asleep. Sorry.
KAREN: Well, you said something sensicle, though. Usually, if somebody talks as they fall asleep they say something really weird.
ADAM: Well I didn't mean to say "old." The word "old" just appeared in front of my eyelids.
ADAM: (clearly falling asleep again) No, it should have been "school cheese"...
KAREN: School cheese?!
ADAM: I said the word "school."
KAREN: Wow, "school cheese."
ADAM: They're the Kraft slices. Yes, we have Kraft slices.
KAREN: You do not.
ADAM: Well, we had something similar, shut up. That fake plastic cheese in individual plastic wrappers.
KAREN: Kraft singles are amazing!
ADAM: If you take them out of the cover and flung them at the ceiling, they could just stick there. They were so plasticky, even with the plastic wrapper taken off.
KAREN: No, you're wrong. That's because yours, here, sucked. If you had had Kraft singles, you wouldn't be saying those thing.
ADAM: Listen: It's not everybody's taste. You have a very particular palate when it comes to certain food stuffs.
KAREN: No matter what, there's nothing in the world as good as a grilled cheese sandwich made with—
TOGETHER: —Kraft singles.
ADAM: Ok. I cannot argue against that.


  1. Personally, in my world, no cheese would be way more stressful than old cheese.

    1. "Not even Wensleydale???" 7@=Q

      (Thought I'd get that one in before somebody else does)...

  2. Bless you for taking a few minutes to publish this. I do believe that there are more desirable solutions.

  3. I have had many different brands/types of cheese over the years.... Kraft singles is still the best when it comes to sandwich cheeses. only thing better is a nice slice of aged cheddar.

  4. That's a wonderfully persuasive argument! Don't hate on the Kraft singles!

  5. Ewww... sorry but I have to disagree! Kraft singles are disgusting and "plasticky" like Adam said!

  6. It was such a good idea giving the guinea pigs wingr.

  7. guinea pigs with wings, it is October after all

  8. Love the Radiohead reference

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