"If I was your friend, I would have recommended you didn't come out with your face like that."
or click here"Bicycle race strip tease!"
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Adam said this one a few weeks ago, during the Olympics. Wouldn't that be a great new event for the velodrome? Cyclists have to remove an item of clothing with every lap around. Awesome!
(in commentator tone) "Oh, you can feel the anticipation here at the dung beetle derby. We're just waiting for the elephants, and then it'll be go go go."
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And the reveal:
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| KAREN: | "So much anticipation at the dung beetle derby. We're just waiting for the elephants, and then it's go go go." |
| ADAM: | I do like my commentary, don't I? I must be a really bad comentator, 'cause I get sent to all the shit sports. |
| KAREN: | The farmyard roller disco. The penguin parade. And the dung beetle derby. I'd like these. |
| ADAM: | It's like being a news anchor for a really really really small bad local TV station. |
"It's amazing. Perfect. Not a piece missing. Total in every way. Outstanding. Yeah. You really are... a complete cunt."
or click here"...And that's how you get wood lice in your crotch. True."
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I wish I'd heard the beginning of that story, so I'd know how to avoid getting wood lice in my crotch. For those of you not up on your entomology, here's a wood louse. We've got loads of them in the UK. It's like an armadillo the size of your pinky fingernail, but creepy:
"Of course I considered becoming a vegetarian to help solve the food hunger problem... Bazinga! Nah, I'd probably eat a vegetarian to help solve the food hunger problem. Fucking vegetarians."
or click here"Everything's all custardy. Mmmmm, custard. It's a bowl full of yellow love. Shlooby looby looby looby loob... (sounds of lip-smacking)"
So, this is Adam, channeling STM, channeling the darker side of Sheldon?
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"You make less sense than a mouthful of cum. Accept it."
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Well, anyway, I can think of a few people who might disagree with the sentiment.
And some time in the night, we had this little exchange:
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| ADAM: | UH! What! |
| KAREN: | What— |
| ADAM: | What's going on?! |
| KAREN: | I was just giving you a hug. |
| ADAM: | What— |
| KAREN: | (whining) I didn't do anything. |
| ADAM: | There was a cold sword. |
| KAREN: | A cold sword? Is my hand cold? I'm sorry. |
| ADAM: | That's okay, I parried it. |
| KAREN: | You parried it? |
| ADAM: | Yes. I was excellent. |
| KAREN: | Okay, come on. |
| ADAM: | Shh. Go to sleep. |
| KAREN: | My feet are freezing. |
| ADAM: | Why don't you stick 'em up Molly. I mean, on Molly? |
| KAREN: | I have been putting them on Molly. |
| ADAM: | Well, put them on me. |
| KAREN: | I'm trying to untie my— |
| ADAM: | Don't make it difficult. |
| KAREN: | You're difficult. |
| ADAM: | Shhhhhhhhh. |
| KAREN: | (giggles) |
| ADAM: | What? You're laughing at "parried it" still, aren't you? |
| KAREN: | (a single indulgent chuckle) |
| ADAM: | I know what I'm taking about. I've done fencing. |
"Hey, I'm a fucking flying squirrel. I can piss where I fucking well want! Yeeeaaaah."
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"I loved you the minute I realized you were a tax break and you also gave head."
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"I shit gold, piss silver, and puke bronze. I don't need a medal to tell me how fucking awesome I am. Got that, bitches?"
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Now THAT'S the Olympic spirit!
"Oh, the joy of watching dyspraxic hamster volleyball. Look at their little legs! Aww. Oops! He's fallen over again (delighted chuckle)."
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Sounds like STM's got himself a case of Olympics fever!
"You're so blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, I'm so cool. And I'm like, blah blah blah blah shut the fuck up. Seriously."
or click here"(Molly click click clicks up the hall) TURN OFF THE RAIN! (she steps on to the bedroom carpet) Thank you."
Sometimes, Molly the little beagle has to get up in the night to pee. She nudges her way out from under the covers, jumps down from the bed, and trots down the hall to the kitchen where we leave out a wee-wee pad for just such occasions. Although our bedroom is carpeted, the long hallway is wood flooring, and her adorable little claws make quite a clicking. Here's STM's interpretation of Molly coming back to the bedroom.
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