Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts. Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam. Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)
The scene: Bed. The time: Yesterday morning. We've already been awake a while, had some toast in bed, now we're having a quiet cuddle. I'm snuggled up to Adam, he's got his arm thrown around me and his face nuzzled in my hair.
I just realize that he has drifted off to sleep, when he comes out with:
"Ga- ga- ga- gagging in your face!"
Oh, no! I'm not recording! I try and gently roll to the left, to reach the bedside table. I get the first couple of inches around, and Adam fully wraps his arm around me, pulls me into a vice-like embrace, and says:
"Why are you trying to escape? Stay! Aren't I a nice captor? Don't try and escape again."
Ok, that didn't work. Next I try sliding down toward the foot of the bed, out from under his arm. But I get stuck with his arm locked around my neck. He crows out:
"W.W.Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee, in the headlock!"
Finally, I just take my chances and heave myself out of his arms, lunging for the record button. I grab the laptop from the floor, and pop it open at the foot of the bed. And he's still talking:
"It's all cold. The boat's leaking. I feel the water... water...Ping pong balls! I know it. Ping pong balls. Ping pong..."
By now, I've started to type out what he's said before, and Adam hears the clicking of the keyboard....
"Great. Now it's fucking raining. What more can go wrong? ... FLOODING!"
How are you not so happy with your husband that you spontaneously combust every time he sleeptalks? Honestly. You are a very lucky woman for many reasons, and this is one of them. :D
Ok. So ya'll had me at pirate beard and I've been hooked (no pun intended) ever since. But today I have to wonder whether or not the blog is taking something away. I would hate to think that cuddle times would be constantly interrupted by thoughts of "where's the record button?!" and squirming to escape just for our sake.
That's too funny. Especially because I live in Oklahoma City where it did flood "just a little bit" yesterday. STM is psychic! Hmmm. I wonder if he has predicted any more freak occurrences around the world...
Hah! I just read Lesley's comment and was about to ask if it was Adam's fault we were swimming here in Oklahoma City the other day, hehe. Was he dreaming about those storms or what?
Just started following your blog and was literally crying I was laughing so hard at this. I used to say the most random stuff in my sleep too but thankfully I only got caught sleep talking a few times and no one recorded it. I love that you guys post these recordings. Definitely made my day!
haha, i love how he freaks out about the flooding and wakes himself up :D
ReplyDeletelol omg cracks me up everytime
ReplyDeleteLmao! I wonder if he was going to try to keep the boat afloat with the ping pong balls ala mythbusters.
ReplyDeleteI would give my left arm for audio of the headlock bit.
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
ReplyDeleteOMG LMAO!!! That is just toooooo fricken hilarious!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you remembered what was said to type it Karen!
Poor Adam ;-)
Great nice one. What an adventure he had :))
ReplyDeleteThat's freeeking hilarious!!!
ReplyDeleteYou two are so wonderful. This was hysterical.
ReplyDeleteThose first three are AWESOME, the "aren't I a nice captor?" one should go on a shirt.
ReplyDeleteOh my. That is so hilariously funny. So wonderful. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThis blog is too funny! I love it, thank you so much for sharing all this craziness!!
ReplyDeletePerfect! Laughed my a$$ off today at the blog, and oh, I needed it. Thanks, you guys - you're the best!
ReplyDeleteWhy don't you just get something that can record for 8 hours and start it before you go to sleep?
ReplyDeleteA Mythbusters reference there? Salvaging boats with ping pong balls!
ReplyDeletemaybe he should give you a remote controlled tape recorder for your birthday or something. lol
ReplyDelete@anonymous 18:30
ReplyDeleteWhat a crappy present.
How are you not so happy with your husband that you spontaneously combust every time he sleeptalks? Honestly. You are a very lucky woman for many reasons, and this is one of them. :D
ReplyDeletelmao..this is HILARIOUS!
ReplyDeletehahahaha at the what a crappy present remark.
ReplyDeletelol!
Ok. So ya'll had me at pirate beard and I've been hooked (no pun intended) ever since. But today I have to wonder whether or not the blog is taking something away. I would hate to think that cuddle times would be constantly interrupted by thoughts of "where's the record button?!" and squirming to escape just for our sake.
ReplyDeleteI don't know whether STM would do well in the WWE:
ReplyDeleteall he seems to know is the sleeper hold....... 7@=Q
Let the poor guy sleep
ReplyDeleteThat's too funny. Especially because I live in Oklahoma City where it did flood "just a little bit" yesterday. STM is psychic! Hmmm. I wonder if he has predicted any more freak occurrences around the world...
ReplyDeleteMaybe, he was going to install those ping pong balls in the pirately beard to support his head above the horrific flood!
ReplyDeleteHah! I just read Lesley's comment and was about to ask if it was Adam's fault we were swimming here in Oklahoma City the other day, hehe. Was he dreaming about those storms or what?
ReplyDeleteLike the other person said, "Let the poor guy sleep"
ReplyDeleteYou don't have to try so hard. Don't you want moments for yourselves? You don't have to share every little word he says.
Just started following your blog and was literally crying I was laughing so hard at this. I used to say the most random stuff in my sleep too but thankfully I only got caught sleep talking a few times and no one recorded it. I love that you guys post these recordings. Definitely made my day!
ReplyDeleteI wonder if Adam was trying to raise a boat with ping pong balls.
ReplyDelete