Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)


June 17 2010

(in a sweet lilt) "Are you my tossbag? Are you my tossbag? Mmmm. All mine. All mine."

 or click here
"Why is it always you and your catch-a-goo-goo-cow-cow? I mean, just get over it!"
 or click here

Karen's notes: Nothing last night. These are leftovers from yesterday.

Added later: A few people have pointed out that there was a band in the 80's called Kajagoogoo. Perhaps that is what Adam is talking about, although I don't know how "cow-cow" figures in.


  1. I love how he just insults everything in his sleep.

  2. 'catch-a-goo-goo'? or Kaja-goo-goo.. as in the old 80s pop band..??

  3. Karen, you've mentioned a couple of times how Adam has had it out with the headboard of your bed. Are you ever concerned that he might use you as a punching bag? By accident of course, lol. One of my favorites was the headboard and the pony chatter.

  4. Quite a while back I was the guest of a dear old friend of mine who has a weak heart because of condition called "Giantism". He's seven foot five inches tall, and a full-blooded Cherokee. Because of his heart he does not eat red meat.

    His neighbor, and fellow "wild hairy man of the mountain" however does.

    One night I got out of bed, walked downstairs, went right past him sitting in his easy chair reading, and took off out the front door. His pet raccoon, "Racket", (evidently thinking there would be something entertaining happening soon) followed me.

    I walked across his yard and breezed through his neighbor's front door, with raccoon in tow, went straight to his refrigerator, snagged a pound of bacon, turned around, and headed back outside.

    I patted his neighbor on the head and said, "Good boy! Play nice with the ladies", (This neighbor is 59 years old and a Vietnam veteran), and strolled back up the hill, gnawing strips of raw bacon. The raccoon plodding loyally in my wake.

    "Worms for the weak!" I crowed as I headed back upstairs with my prize. I crawled back into bed, and Racket Raccoon had a rich feast of bacon.

    Adding to this unseemly episode was the fact that I was buck naked at the time! The next morning everybody was rolling in the floor laughing over it, and Racket Raccoon had the trots from eating too much bacon. I didn't remember a damned thing!

  5. stoney, that story is hilarious. thank you so much for sharing it with us. adam

  6. Stoney, can you send us that story in an email, so that we can get in touch with you if we find a way to use it?

  7. This blog is frikkin hilarious!!! I haven't laughed this hard in a long time!
    I am a fellow English man living in the US and apparently I sleep talk alot, I found your app and then your blog by searching for something to try and record my own sleep talking:-)
    Apparently a couple of nights back I said,
    "Whassit? Whassit? Whassit?....... Aaaaah, Chinese food.... SMASHED!"

    I have mo idea what it was about, maybe this whole sleep talkin thing is an English trait?

    Keep up the excellent blogobiography!

  8. My mother, although she says she isn't normally prone to moving or talking in her sleep, once sleep-punched the cat.

    She was dreaming about an overbearing man leaning right in her face. He wouldn't move away when she asked him. So she threw a punch, and then woke up to find the cat had been sitting and purring on her neck!

    He eventually forgave her, but he got a lot of guilt-motivated chicken slices out of it in the meantime.

  9. Once, when my brother and I were little, we had a huge fight over who got to sleep with a certain blanket. I won. But sometime in the middle of the night he got out of his bed, walked all the way over to my bed, stole my blanket, pushed me onto the floor, and fell asleep in my bed. My mom says he was asleep the entire time.

  10. Hey Adam are you watching the Worldcup. I have been waiting for you to say something clever about Mr. Green (England's Keeper). Or is it to offensive to put on the website. Best regards and keep it up you guys are awesome.

  11. Me and my cousin (who is older than me) had to sleep on the same bed one night because a bunch of family members invaded us for the holydays. When I was a kid I had a terrible case of restless leg syndrome. He knew this and prepared accordingly to block my kicks with a pillow.

    Long story short he woke up with a purple eye.
    Allegedly I punched him in the face with all my might at about 4 or 5 am. Then at like 6 or 7 got up and told him I was sorry. I don’t remember anything.

  12. Oh, Stoney13, that stuff only can happen in the the Southern US. You just outdid my favorite Harry Crews story ("This here hand's mine, sonofabitch. I found it on my property.").

    One time my niece stayed at my family's house because my sister was away. My niece shared my bed but when I awakened in the middle of the night, I could not find her. She hadn't fallen out of bed. She wasn't in the bathroom or kitchen. I checked to see if she'd gotten in bed with Grandmom, who said that her mom had come home and taken her. Over Sunday dinner the following weekend, I gave my sister a hard time for not waking me to say she was taking my niece.

    "I did wake you. I said it was me and that I was taking Kayla. You said, 'Oh, okay. Who are you?'"

  13. "Too offensive to put on the website"? Is that possible?!

  14. Stoney...that story is abso-flucking-lutely hilarious!!!!!!!! OMG!!!

    As for today's posts, the sing-song way he says Are you my tossbag is too cute (sorry Adam, but it is lol).

    catch-a-goo-goo, kajagoogoo, I don't get it lol.

  15. lol tossbag was always my favorite insult from the UK and AU lol love it that so needs to be on a shirt lol

  16. Send me an email at I'll return you one with the story in it.

  17. Oh yea! Glad you guys liked it! I've been getting laughs from you all ever since I heard about your site on the ABC News!


  18. Stoney that story is TERRIFIC!!! And very, very well told. Thanks for a huge laugh!

  19. I just love the way how you explain the things in funny mood that looks horrible in real life.

  20. One day, I found myself facing a door that just would not open. I pushed, pulled, turned the knob left and right, and the door wouldn't open! I *had* to get to the other side, so I was bound and determined to keep trying.

    All of a sudden, it occurred to me that doorknobs weren't supposed to be prickly like hedgehogs. My eyes flew open to find the dear husband staring at me curiously. My hand was firmly clasped about his chin.

    HE woke up when I started trying to unscrew his chin!