Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)


June 18 2010

"It's easy to confuse your ass and your face. They're basically a hole that spews shit."

"The ladybird's not a bird. Birds peck! This ladybird just pisses yellow on my finger. Yellow fucking jesus toe-tapping on my finger."

 or click here

"ladybird" in UK = "ladybug" in US

Karen's notes: Quiet night again, so these are from the nestegg.

Adam was a bit angry at me about something the last couple of days, I wonder if his subconscious was keeping quiet to punish me. Well, he's over it now, all is love again, so maybe we'll have a fruitful weekend to make up for it.


  1. LMAO @ the ass/face one! That is AWESOME!!! Now I need to save some more money on my c.c. so if/when u T-shirt that, I sooooo gotta buy it!

    The lady bird beetle one...EWWWW!!!

    Uh Oh, I hope u 2 are okay.


  2. not to worry, all is light and love again! - adam

  3. I hate when ladybugs pee on you! What is their deal?
    lol at the first one
    glad you two are getting along again!

  4. It occurred to me that Adam never mentions any specific names. No family, friends, celebrities or acquaintances. He's sure got a hate on for various animals, but never any people.

    Any thoughts as to why that might be?

  5. No audio on the first one?

  6. 1. The first one must have happened on a night I messed up with the recorder, because I couldn't find audio for it. I think it was actually from the honeymoon!

    2. I didn't know that ladybugs/ladybirds could pee on you. Really?

    3. Yeah, we think it's pretty weird that he doesn't mention anyone by name. Except he did once say "Mum". We do have an idea of who those insults might be aimed at, though, as we have a very difficult person in our life.

  7. The first quote is priceless. I am continually amazed at the creativity of his insults. They are amazing.

  8. The ladybird piss is actually a reflex toxin emitted to dissuade potential predators.

  9. I wonder if the difficult person reads this and has any consciousness that they are in fact difficult.

  10. @igosm: I bet the person in question has no idea. :)

  11. actually, the person would probably know that we are talking about them, but would think they are always in the right and we are crazy. sigh.

  12. I have an idea who that person may be.

  13. You must get into contact with Hollywood writers. They desperately need input like this!

  14. It is so much healthier that Adam vents in his sleep talking than in person with the difficult one. As for him/her, often difficult people don't recognize themselves which makes them even more pitiful! Just be happy that both of you practice good mental health by laughing so much!!

  15. We all have times when our SO are angry at us. No worries, right? :) Sometimes they need to Adam does in his sleep and you're right, it's probably not even directed at you.

    Apparently my BF says I mumble in my sleep once and awhile...and snore....I deny all.

  16. I just found this blog and read it from start to finish and I still have tears streaming down my face from laughing!!! This will be my first and last blog-stop of the day to ensure that my day start and ends on a happy (make that hilarious) note :) Thank you guys!

  17. my first thought when I read ladybird was of Hank's dog "ladybird" from King of the Hill,...all I could think was how awkward of a positiong that would be... thanks for saying that it is actually a ladybug

  18. Yes - agreement on the ladybird reflex toxin. They bleed it from their legs. It lets anything that might eat them know how bad they're gonna taste if they try.

  19. Please don't post things that take the Lord's name in vain. Actually, it's not funny. Thank you for your consideration of this request.

  20. lmfao @ religious comment

  21. @ Anon @ 14:21

    Karen posts exactly what Adam says - in his sleep, I might add - unedited. There's a disclaimer on the blog that clearly states that some of what you will read here might be offensive, so, really, Karen and Adam have fulfilled their responsibilities in terms of limiting offensive exposure.

    If you don't find it funny, you aren't required to laugh - or even look at it.

  22. i'm wondering if maybe his night-time vocalizations have something to do with him being comfortable with you. people tend to be a bit more "uptight" with others when they feel like they cannot completely be themselves around them. This would not necessarily be a part of their daytime consciousness, so Adam might not have consciously realized that he wasn't totally at ease before. I wonder if he was tired more often before he started talking in his sleep, which would probably indicate less REM sleep (REM is affected by stress levels).

  23. People never dream the faces of anyone they know.

    Our subconcicious is not connected with the parts of the brain responsible for remembering faces during sleep.

    What we do in our dreams is invent a face on the go, and asign whatever name/personality traits that face inspire us.

    But when we wake up, if we remember the dream, we instantly have access to our face memory banks, and usually a sustitution may happen, unless there is no face that looks alike enought, in wich case is a stranger one for us.


    Someone has a crush on the guy/gal next door.

    At night you have a dream with an imagined person that looks like him/she.

    When that someone wakes up, and tries to remeber the dream, the leftover impresión is that the dream was about the neighbor.

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