Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20110401

Apr 1 2011

"The time is a quarter to I-make-sweet-love-to-you. Doooooong."

 or click here
"It's not sweat. It's my aura glistening."
 or click here
"Any attempt at being intelligent is fucking futile. Now go take your banana and play on a friggin' rope… Hello, and what would you like for Christmas?"
 or click here
__________

Karen's notes: Concerning that first one, this is STM's imitation of the Talking Clock, a phone number you can call to listen to the time. Adam's mother tells us that when she was younger and working at a lame job, she used to regularly call the Talking Clock out of sheer boredom.

And that last one, well, now we know what we'd get if STM were Santa.

Posted by Karen Slavick-Lennard at 08:09

20 comments:

  1. Anonymous1 April 2011 at 09:46

    It's STM being Bad Santa!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous1 April 2011 at 10:58

    Horses sweat, men pespire, and women glow; but apparently STM does none of these things and just has a glistening aura instead.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Baree1 April 2011 at 11:20

    I can't help but wonder if the last one is related to the monkey sanctuary :P

    ReplyDelete
  4. Heidi1 April 2011 at 12:55

    I want the second one on a t-shirt so I can wear it at the gym!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous1 April 2011 at 13:28

    I used to call the talking clock when I was little out of sheer boredom, too.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Pamela1 April 2011 at 15:14

    I agree with Heidi, I wanna wear the glistening aura shirt to the gym!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Julie1 April 2011 at 15:21

    Yep, glistening aura on workout shirts would be a total WIN! Heck, gym bags too. Anything likely to exist in proximity to a sweaty individual should proudly proclaim this.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ivy1 April 2011 at 17:34

    Aw. The first one is sweet... and should go on a nightie or underwear (pants lol).

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous1 April 2011 at 19:35

    These are hilarious! The best in a while, in my opinion.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Erika1 April 2011 at 20:03

    I think every country has its own version of Talking Clocks. Here in indonesia we dial 103 for that. What's ur number? Bet it's fun to call other countries' talking clocks :-)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Andreas B1 April 2011 at 21:14

    I'm with Heidi. The second one would be great for a gym shirt.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous1 April 2011 at 23:30

    I'm with all the above basically: would definitely wear the aura glistening one at the gym :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous2 April 2011 at 01:13

    These are all EXCELLENT. The first one sounds like a Barney Stinson line from How I Met Your Mother... lol

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous3 April 2011 at 10:27

    The guy I sit next to at work rings the speaking clock..... it's freaking weird......

    ReplyDelete
  15. Katidid4 April 2011 at 04:31

    The version of the Talking Clock that we had when I was growing up (in the midwest USA) was "Time and Temperature" ... it'd tell you the time and give you the weather report for the day along with the current temperature. ... And then they invented the internet. ;o)

    ReplyDelete
  16. crowleyancanto5 April 2011 at 04:13

    Now his aura is glistening?! Is he channeling Jimi Hendrix?

    ReplyDelete
  17. Anonymous5 April 2011 at 06:21

    for some reason... i wholly enjoy the second one.

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  18. Anonymous6 April 2011 at 04:55

    My goodness, but in that first one STM appears to have quite a long dong.

    ReplyDelete
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