Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20111110

Nov 10 2011

"I swear, your vagina needs a use-by date. Stinky snatch."

 or click here

Adam wants me to tell you all that he has never used the word "snatch" to reference female genitalia in his (waking) life.
"Zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom. Zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom. Bada bada bada bada bada bada. Bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada. Bada bada bada ba— BING! Bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada. Bada bada ba— BING! I hate those bings. They stop my rhythm. Bastards!"
 or click here

And then, poor Adam had another one of those unpleasant awakenings care of STM:

 or click here
STM: (holds arm up in air, makes fist, and brings it down on Adam's head wth a dull thunk.)
ADAM: (gasps awake, then stares at hand for a long moment).
KAREN: Baby!
ADAM: WHAT? What?
KAREN: You just clonked yourself on the forehead with your fist!
ADAM: That was crap of me, wasn't it?
KAREN: You went like this (demonstrates, eliciting a similar thunk). That's what you did! Why did you do that?
ADAM: I don— I— Well— Considering the fact that I don't know I did that—
KAREN: What did you think woke you up?
ADAM: Well, I knew I got clonked on the head, and then, noticing my hand ON my head, I realized it was me. But I needed to determine whether I was in full control of my arm, hence me staring at my hand for a while. And once I realized I WAS in full control of my arm I kind of gathered that I must have clonked myself in the head and I was left with just a great sense of shame and embarrassment.
KAREN: Oh, baby.
ADAM: It's okay. I live with it every day. And then you share it with the world every day.
KAREN: Yeah.
ADAM: Thank you, darling, I love you. Spread the shame, spread the shame.

Posted by Karen Slavick-Lennard at 07:51

28 comments:

  1. leendadll10 November 2011 at 07:56

    can a waking/Adam comment be a shirt? because "spread the shame, spread the shame" sure seems good

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  2. Logan Pearsall10 November 2011 at 08:06

    you guys make me smile everyday. thank you.

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  3. Anonymous10 November 2011 at 08:12

    You need to start doing videos now. If Adam is hitting himself in the head, no telling what form of self inflicted injury will happen next.

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  4. adam lennard10 November 2011 at 09:29

    thank you Logan, it is really lovely to hear that.

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  5. Eliza Keating10 November 2011 at 09:39

    This is brilliant..love it..ELiza Keating

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  6. Anonymous10 November 2011 at 09:40

    Totally t-shirt worthy - "Spread the Shame, Spread the Shame"

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  7. Anonymous10 November 2011 at 10:16

    I agree. Spread the shame should totally be a shirt.

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  8. Anonymous10 November 2011 at 12:00

    Hahaha I hate those Bings.... great.

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  9. Lora10 November 2011 at 12:31

    "It's okay. I live with it every day. And then you share it with the world every day."
    "Yeah."
    "Thank you, darling, I love you. Spread the shame, spread the shame."

    LOL! This is just brilliant! :D And I love those bings. ;D BING!

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  10. Anonymous10 November 2011 at 13:10

    then the world gets to laugh at STM beating poor Adam up in the mornings. to bad there is no video of it. more to laugh about. lol

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  11. Barkingkel10 November 2011 at 13:11

    Karen, after that do you feel the least bit guilty? I, of course, don't want you to stop but that was soooo sad.

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  12. Darlin'10 November 2011 at 13:54

    You guys are awesome! ..first read about you in my daily paper a couple days ago, your comment about 'being any more annoying' made me laugh outloud in public! ..thanks for sharing.

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  13. Anonymous10 November 2011 at 16:22

    This just called for a picture, so I've done the best I could on short notice.

    "Spread the shame..."

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/69638666@N03/6331532389/in/photostream

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  14. JamiSings10 November 2011 at 16:34

    Okay folks, who, besides me, weirdo that I am, imagined a huge army of Bing Crosby clones marching along to interrupt STM's rhythm?

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  15. Anonymouse10 November 2011 at 18:38

    Actually, JamiSings, I imagined John CLeese saying "Ah, I see you've had the dream that goes *BING*!"

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  16. Anonymous10 November 2011 at 19:25

    Don't know how but I got the "zoom zoom zoom" song from Zenon stuck in my head...but like the Bing Crosby army visual

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  17. stoney1311 November 2011 at 00:22

    Well, Adam, it finally happened! STM is trying to attack you in your sleep!

    DAMN those lentils! They have turned him against you!

    Look on the bright side! You still have the Gerbil Pirates! You didn't let them escape did you? *sigh*

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  18. Emmajay11 November 2011 at 00:31

    Oh my... I've been reading this for over a year now and this awakening just made me laugh more than anything has in QUITE some time! Haha :-)

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  19. LA/wts11 November 2011 at 01:25

    @Stoney: Actually, that might be a good premise for a horror film with comic overtones... 7@=Q

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  20. stoney1311 November 2011 at 01:32

    LA/wts,

    I can see the newspaper headlines now! "UNFORTUNATE YOUNG MAN BREAKS BOTH LEGS, KICKING HIS OWN ASS! MILLIONS WONDER WHY!

    That could be the lead in scene of the film. Have to be CG though! I mean DAMN!

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  21. mooshki11 November 2011 at 02:20

    You two are so adorable! It's too bad STM seems to have it in for you. :)

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  22. Aviva11 November 2011 at 19:47

    hahahaha! I loved the sound effects one :) The bada bada bada bada BING! reminded me of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2LJ1i7222c

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  23. Steven Sapir11 November 2011 at 20:53

    Down with Bings! and spread the shame!

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  24. Baree13 November 2011 at 14:55

    As much as I love STM's ramblings, these awakenings are usually the most fun.

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  25. turtlesong13 November 2011 at 19:45

    every time stm comments on female genitalia i wonder if you guys have this "commercial" over there....

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWBS4kR3UhM

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  26. Anonymous15 November 2011 at 14:28

    I keep coming back to the wake up. He is such a great sport about this. :)

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  27. Tom Becker (New York, USA)29 March 2012 at 17:37

    by far THE best of STM!!!

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  28. Anonymous7 September 2012 at 09:41

    "spread the shame, spread the shame" Your husband is awesome. =D

    ReplyDelete

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