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Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20091219

Dec 18 2009

"Since when did my underwear look good on you? Take it off. Take it off your face."

"You know, you're not some precious flower. And if you were I'd be a weed and grow next to you and choke you to fucking death!... Love you!"

"Dance for me, go on. Oh you were! I thought you were having a spaz attack..... Doofus."

[in response to wife typing] "clip clop clip clop clip clop clip clop clip clop... Who brought a horse in the bedroom? Oh well. Looks like I'm sleeping in the barn."

"I'm better than Superman. He's just a cunt.... in underpants."


Wife's note: In support of my suspicion that Adam is actually a different person in these moments, when I told him in the morning what he had said, my English husband responded, "What's a 'doofus'?" Yikes.

Posted by Karen Slavick-Lennard at 07:43

40 comments:

  1. Anonymous22 December 2009 at 09:52

    Karen, yikes indeed! lol xx Eldi

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous8 January 2010 at 08:08

    Also married to sleep-talking Englishman. Mine is partially awake for most of his talking. My son and I like to wake him up and pretend to be his clients placing orders. The absolute nonsense is wonderful ...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous8 January 2010 at 12:59

    Why do you keep referring to him as your "English husband"? Its really odd. .

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous8 January 2010 at 15:49

    This just seems so remenicent pCertain aspects of this just remind me too much about Lisey's Story.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Karen Slavick-Lennard8 January 2010 at 16:47

    Oh, I mention that he's English because it does change the meaning of certain things he says.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous8 January 2010 at 17:03

    That first one is pure gold!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Elaine8 January 2010 at 19:01

    This entry has got to be hands down my favorite.

    Best line EVER: "Take it off your face."

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous8 January 2010 at 21:30

    I absolutely love your entries -- good laugh late on Friday when you've had a bad week!! It's like a mix of Tourette's & vivid dreams, lmao!
    Personally love the Superman line as we refer to my husband as Superman & he thinks he's better than him :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous8 January 2010 at 23:37

    God! I'm just reading this last comment while going through the whole blog from the beginning, on Friday, after having a really bad day! Thanks so much, Karen S-L! The way you keep the blog is perfect... I like the design, the picture at the top, the size of it, the ideas. Keep it up!! Go Karen, go Karen, go Karen go!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous9 January 2010 at 00:08

    he sounds like one of the Lewis Carrol's characters...

    ReplyDelete
  11. adambrower10 January 2010 at 02:27

    for a brit he does indeed lay on the americanisms. i don't think i've ever heard a brit friend use "done for" (later entry) or "doofus." likewise, "fucking" in its frequency and usage sounds distinctly yank.

    you type on an actual *typewriter!?* an olivetti portable, or one of those big Royals? because i've never heard a 'puter keyboard sound like "clip clop."

    ReplyDelete
  12. DAVE the BRAVE11 January 2010 at 11:28

    Karen S-L, have you thought that he might be referring to you in some of his "dreams"?

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous12 January 2010 at 17:02

    its subliminal messaging from tv or something... he heard "doofus" somewhere and his subconscious just spewed it out

    glad to help. I'm gonna make a facebook group about the superman one :)

    look for it sometime.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous14 January 2010 at 20:49

    doofus is totally american. I use it all the time :B

    ReplyDelete
  15. Siobhan18 January 2010 at 12:26

    I know I'm commenting loads, but these are all SO funny! If a little creepy. I'd be scared of the amount of times he refers to choking people to fucking death! Just out of interest, when he says stuff like that do you get freaked out at all, or just find it really, really funny? I think I'd be somewhere in between!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Anonymous22 January 2010 at 21:53

    Your Spanish Husband is too quiet

    ReplyDelete
  17. Anonymous23 January 2010 at 05:20

    Are you sure he's not possessed by a really funny demon everytime he goes to sleep? Lol :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. Jodi23 January 2010 at 22:12

    Funny i wondered if he was channeling some bizarre angry American! LOL I am an American by the way so I'm in no way picking on us.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Anonymous24 January 2010 at 03:39

    LOL!! I love how he takes the edge off of choking you to fucking death by saying "I love you."

    ReplyDelete
  20. Anonymous24 January 2010 at 03:55

    OMG! I love the one about dancing. This stuff is HILARIOUS!

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    great post

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