"Since when did my underwear look good on you? Take it off. Take it off your face."
"You know, you're not some precious flower. And if you were I'd be a weed and grow next to you and choke you to fucking death!... Love you!"
"Dance for me, go on. Oh you were! I thought you were having a spaz attack..... Doofus."
[in response to wife typing] "clip clop clip clop clip clop clip clop clip clop... Who brought a horse in the bedroom? Oh well. Looks like I'm sleeping in the barn."
"I'm better than Superman. He's just a cunt.... in underpants."
Wife's note: In support of my suspicion that Adam is actually a different person in these moments, when I told him in the morning what he had said, my English husband responded, "What's a 'doofus'?" Yikes.
20091219
Dec 18 2009
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Karen, yikes indeed! lol xx Eldi
ReplyDeleteAlso married to sleep-talking Englishman. Mine is partially awake for most of his talking. My son and I like to wake him up and pretend to be his clients placing orders. The absolute nonsense is wonderful ...
ReplyDeleteWhy do you keep referring to him as your "English husband"? Its really odd. .
ReplyDeleteThis just seems so remenicent pCertain aspects of this just remind me too much about Lisey's Story.
ReplyDeleteOh, I mention that he's English because it does change the meaning of certain things he says.
ReplyDeleteThat first one is pure gold!
ReplyDeleteThis entry has got to be hands down my favorite.
ReplyDeleteBest line EVER: "Take it off your face."
I absolutely love your entries -- good laugh late on Friday when you've had a bad week!! It's like a mix of Tourette's & vivid dreams, lmao!
ReplyDeletePersonally love the Superman line as we refer to my husband as Superman & he thinks he's better than him :)
God! I'm just reading this last comment while going through the whole blog from the beginning, on Friday, after having a really bad day! Thanks so much, Karen S-L! The way you keep the blog is perfect... I like the design, the picture at the top, the size of it, the ideas. Keep it up!! Go Karen, go Karen, go Karen go!
ReplyDeletehe sounds like one of the Lewis Carrol's characters...
ReplyDelete"You know, you're not some precious flower. And if you were I'd be a weed and grow next to you and choke you to fucking death!... Love you!"
ReplyDeleteI would love to have this as my facebook status or something, so epic!
for a brit he does indeed lay on the americanisms. i don't think i've ever heard a brit friend use "done for" (later entry) or "doofus." likewise, "fucking" in its frequency and usage sounds distinctly yank.
ReplyDeleteyou type on an actual *typewriter!?* an olivetti portable, or one of those big Royals? because i've never heard a 'puter keyboard sound like "clip clop."
Karen S-L, have you thought that he might be referring to you in some of his "dreams"?
ReplyDeleteits subliminal messaging from tv or something... he heard "doofus" somewhere and his subconscious just spewed it out
ReplyDeleteglad to help. I'm gonna make a facebook group about the superman one :)
look for it sometime.
doofus is totally american. I use it all the time :B
ReplyDeleteThere was this guy who believed very much in true love and decided to take his time to wait for his right girl to appear.
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I know I'm commenting loads, but these are all SO funny! If a little creepy. I'd be scared of the amount of times he refers to choking people to fucking death! Just out of interest, when he says stuff like that do you get freaked out at all, or just find it really, really funny? I think I'd be somewhere in between!
ReplyDeletedoofus - (informaŠ“ US) a slow-witted or stupid person ^^
ReplyDeleteYour Spanish Husband is too quiet
ReplyDeleteAre you sure he's not possessed by a really funny demon everytime he goes to sleep? Lol :)
ReplyDeleteFunny i wondered if he was channeling some bizarre angry American! LOL I am an American by the way so I'm in no way picking on us.
ReplyDeleteLOL!! I love how he takes the edge off of choking you to fucking death by saying "I love you."
ReplyDeleteOMG! I love the one about dancing. This stuff is HILARIOUS!
ReplyDeleteWell, I would most certainly prefer being "choked to fucking death" than just choked to death...
ReplyDeletegreat post
ReplyDeleteExcellent story, I love the phrase "I'm better than Superman. He's just a cunt, in underpants." lol, this make really laugh.
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"You know, you're not some precious flower. And if you were I'd be a weed and grow next to you and choke you to fucking death!... Love you!"
"Dance for me, go on. Oh you were! I thought you were having a spaz attack..... Doofus."
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