Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20091222

Dec 21 2009

"My snorkle! My snorkle! Judge won't like it if I don't have my snorkle! You PLANT it... Don't want baby snorkles."

"I'd like to tell you what a wonderful person you are. But that would make me a septic gash of a cunt who quite frankly had no concept of right or wrong."

"Ooh! My balls are itchy. Have you got the cheese grater?"

"Awesome. Teddy bears bungie jumping."

Posted by Karen Slavick-Lennard at 06:29

85 comments:

  1. Anonymous22 December 2009 at 15:53

    These are all brilliant. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous8 January 2010 at 06:28

    Perhaps the snorkle is a condom? Don't want the judge (you or other woman) to be mad, we don't want babies...?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous8 January 2010 at 11:45

    I wouldn't use that cheese grater in the kitchen anymore.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous8 January 2010 at 14:23

    hmm maybe snokle is another woman... judge is his wife...

    and well she deffo wouldnt like it if he had babies with someone else?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous8 January 2010 at 15:25

    where is there any video of this hilarity? this is instantaneously classic

    ReplyDelete
  6. Karen Slavick-Lennard8 January 2010 at 17:04

    By the way, on this night, we were going to family court the next day to fight for holiday visitation with Adam's kids. So, interesting about the judge.

    ReplyDelete
  7. cryptoprocta8 January 2010 at 23:10

    BTW septic means american person

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous8 January 2010 at 23:26

    BTW septic in England means some thing that is infected / filled with pus...

    ReplyDelete
  9. Lisa9 January 2010 at 14:54

    "Ooh! My balls are itchy. Have you got the cheese grater?"

    That's my favourite STMism.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous10 January 2010 at 00:22

    a septic gash of a cunt.. bloody hell.. i can't even think of that when i'm awake..

    love the blog btw.. it's so brilliant cause i can relate to the british language.. i keep pissing myself of laughter! keep it up!

    ReplyDelete
  11. NON-WORKINGMONKEY10 January 2010 at 18:56

    When I dream of the life I dream of having, I say this to anyone who even vaguely pisses me off: "I'd like to tell you what a wonderful person you are. But that would make me a septic gash of a cunt who quite frankly had no concept of right or wrong."

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous11 January 2010 at 02:05

    I just discovered this blog and I think the whole building heard me laugh hysterically when I read "Have you got a cheese grater?"

    This is a MAGNIFICENT and superbly ORIGINAL blog!!

    Trev

    ReplyDelete
  13. Miss Ellaneous12 January 2010 at 19:17

    That is so funny! I broke out with laughter!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous14 January 2010 at 20:42

    Too funny! To all the people out there who think it's fake, you obviously have never had the pleasure of living with a sleeptalker. My cousin (a garage door installer) once burst into my bedroom after a night of drinking demanding to know where his door sections were! When I told him he was sleeping, he got irate, stomped down the hallway and slammed the door. I told him about it the next morning and he was mortified! Keep it up, this has been the highlight of my day!

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  15. Chris23 January 2010 at 02:16

    Completely fake. I live with a sleep talker/walker. This is not real. How interesting that they are trying to profit by this scam. Another ruse by more of this "I'm a star , glory hog, I should be paid for nothing" generation. OF course this comment will never be posted.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Anonymous23 January 2010 at 03:20

    real or not its funny and original

    ReplyDelete
  17. Anonymous23 January 2010 at 03:55

    My hsband talks in his sleep as well and he frequetly refers to pink animals. Its really funny.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Anonymous23 January 2010 at 03:56

    It's totally real. I have bouts of these too occasionally. I once got up to look in my parent's closet. When they asked me what I was doing I told them I was looking for some water.
    It's totally possible to talk like this in your sleep.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Anonymous23 January 2010 at 12:47

    Real or not..they won't get rich as elton john doing this..so what is it to you?!

    BTW...I Love It!!!!! Really funny stuff!! =D

    ReplyDelete
  20. Anonymous24 January 2010 at 03:50

    This blog is great! Keep it up, Karen!

    Chris, you're completely fake and I don't believe YOU exist. Be gone.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Anonymous24 January 2010 at 23:49

    Totally agree with Anonymous of 23 January 2010 12:74. My Aunt sleep talks. One time she was totally out and she just suddenly said "One, two, three, GO!" We asked her about it later and she said she had a dream that her daughter dropped a grape and she was making said daughter go pick it up. I totally love this blog, by the way. Thanks to both Karen and Adam for sharing STM with the world.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Anonymous25 January 2010 at 19:35

    This seems so real! I married a sleep talker and have had my own bouts of sleeptalking. One night I told my roommate in college "I CANT! There is NO Room. All the back doors are full of dead animals and there is no room for your bike"

    My husband one time got out of bed, walked over to my side of the room and stood in front of the window that was closed with the shade and the curtain both closed. I asked him what he was doing and he responded "Trying to figure out who is shooting at us" When I asked him to come to bed he turned aburtly and said "NOT UNTIL I KNOW FOR SURE".

    I am telling you, sleep talking/walking is very very real and crazy

    ReplyDelete
  23. Anonymous1 March 2010 at 06:15

    The itchy ball grater is a classic.... you need that one on shirts....
    You should tell Baobao to shove his shoe collection up his ass sideways.... that would be entertaining!!!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Anonymous14 November 2010 at 21:48

    I scream in pain. I'm a girl and I was almost about to role on the floor in pain.

    ReplyDelete
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