Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts. Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam. Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)
Karen's notes: I'm back in bed with my husband, and we're back on our normal blog schedule. Yay!
Hey, STM is getting philosophical on us. Bonus: if you listen closely around "when your questions," you'll hear Molly's ears flapping.
Merch reminder: Last day for both of those promos in the right-hand panel. I'll give you a hint, though, that they're starting free shipping for orders over $30/£30 tomorrow, so if that's better for you, wait it out.
Karen's notes: I imagine STM is talking to some pathetic little evil scientist who conceives plot after plot to seize power, and fails miserably every time. The poor guy should probably give up and get a job as a telemarketer or something.
And, as always, I'm pleased to see that my husband's sense of self-worth is so healthy.
Merch news: Spreadshirt has added another promo for the last few days of November. This one is for 25% off orders of $40 min or more, and it's in the US shop only:
(It took me a minute to figure this one out. You know how the day after Thanksgiving is called Black Friday, because everyone descends on the shops for the big sales? Apparently, the Monday after Thanksgiving is the biggest online shopping day of the year, and has come to be called Cyber Monday.)
The buy-4-get-1-free is still on for 4 more days! But you have to choose one of the promos, can't do both.
Karen's notes: This one's from the nest egg. At midnight, as I was standing in front of the fridge eating pumpkin pie straight out of the dish, it struck me as delightfully accurate.
Now, apropos of nothing, here's a little something.
Remember those days when I was posting only one audio clip every few days (what was I thinking?!)? Well, I've been considering that goldmine of never-before-heard wackiness, and all the bizarre, creepy, hilarious things STM has said that are buried in the archives. Thus is born the WEDNESDAY REWIND!
So, in honor of Thanksgiving:
"You can tell that turkey when it comes back here that it's not welcome. You tell it good."
"I can't believe you went to pick up a turkey without introducing yourself first. How rude of you. How presumptuous. A turkey has its own mind. Be kind."
Karen's notes: A UKism, "pisses down" = "rains rather hard"
Merch update: Loads of new stuff in the shops. "Noodle soup" is on aprons; "I'm so cute" is on mugs and babywear, and I salute anyone who has the balls to put their baby in it; "Three steps to happiness" is on absolutely everything.
Don't forget about the order-5-pay-for-4 promo (hard to forget with that huge graphic to the right). If there is a quote in the shop that you want on a different product, email me with your request.
"Where are you? Where aaaaaare yoooouu? Where have you gone? Helllooooooo? Hellooooooo? Where are yooo-oou-uuu? Where aaaaare you? (whimpering) Where ARE you?! (more whimpers) Oh! Theeeere you are. Right: FUCK OFF! Fuck off better next time, that's for sure."
That was from yesterday. I want you all to imagine me listening to it for the first time, thinking, "Oh, that's so sweet. His first night without me, and he's desperately searching for me." I really should know better by now.
"I'm an aura stalker. I will seek you out. Yes, you will be mine."
"My bus. My new bus. Mmmm, shiny. Big shiny new bus. I love my bus. Get the FUCK OFF MY BUS! My bus! Shiny and new. Big red shiny bus, mine. Allll mine."
___________
Karen's notes: Well, public buses in England are red, although one could not generally describe them as shiny.
I touched down on American soil last night. Hello to all my countrymen! Here's how this works while I'm away: Adam has to press the record button before he goes to sleep. In the morning, he transfers the file onto his computer, then sticks it into an online drop folder for me. Then I have to download it and go through the file blindly, having no idea if there's something on there or not. In one sense, I really miss out on hearing STM in person. However, it is a bit of an adventure, opening up that file every day, not knowing what I might find. Another bonus is that he usually records a delightful little love message for me before he goes to sleep.
Alas, this process will have to begin tomorrow, as Adam didn't quite upload the file properly and I'm too impatient to wait to post. STM's Ode to a Shiny Red Bus was recited in the early hours of Wednesday morning.
Added later: I stand corrected. Adam didn't upload improperly, he just stuck it in a place I didn't look for it. And, oh boy, it was a doozy of a night! You'll just have to wait 'til tomorrow.
Karen's notes: I'm off to the States for a week and a half! So, expect the blog to be posted about 6 hours later than usual. I love you guys, but not enough to wake up at 2 am every day.
STM:
FUCK YOU!
ADAM:
Oh!
KAREN:
Baby?
ADAM:
Morning! Oh dear.
KAREN:
What happened?
ADAM:
Mmm..... No idea.
KAREN:
Well, at least you put some thought into it.
ADAM:
I was trying to see if I could remember any image, if I was dreaming and... nothing. I just remember knowing I shouted something... probably rude.
Karen's notes: Hey, Americans, keep in mind that in UK-speak, "pants" = underwear (the long ones are "trousers"). That said, I can't wait to see Adam in some frilly pants on Friday.
Oh, also, anyone care to hazard a guess as to what thunder pants are?
